Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Panic

I woke in a panic this morning after having panicky dreams all night.
I should run into the hospital and see my mother but I have Owen today and don't really have time to get to town, find a parking place, find her room, visit, leave, get Owen.
Oh, I don't know.
I am the world's worst daughter.
I am sitting here blogging when I should be driving.
Why is it so easy for me to be a grandmother and so hard to be a daughter?

19 comments:

  1. "Why is it so easy for me to be a grandmother and so hard to be a daughter?"
    I wish I knew... even I think being a mom is easier than being a daughter.
    Thinking of you, this morning.

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  2. I give a lot of credence to premonitions. Had them right before my mother and father died. Follow your intuition. It generally isn't wrong.

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  3. Don't know what to say other than I love you.

    Good morning, my dear Ms. Moon.

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  4. Because you're not responsible for her. It was the other way 'round. You'll get there when you're ready.

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  5. Yup. It's true. You just have childhood caretaker guilt, maybe.

    And on balance, did your mother find it as easy to be a grandmother as you?

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  6. Your children are always cuter than your mother. They hold our hopes for tomorrow while our parents live out our fears.

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  7. I like what Kathleen said.

    I'm thinking of you today, hoping the panic/guilt leaves you be, and hoping the best for your Mother. You have Owen to watch, and hospitals are no place for the little ones.

    Thank you for the beautiful beach pictures, they made me happy.

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  8. I don't have any answers, because-well. Just because. So I send my good thoughts to you, and that is that.

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  9. The question for me is why is it so hard to be a daughter and not a mother?

    You know how I feel. Hang in there -- I love you. Keep your sense of humor. That will save you, I think.

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  10. with you on this.
    hugs and love.

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  11. I hope the day has calmed for you, and that your mother's home safe and well.

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  12. Just my advice Ms. Moon but you have to do what is right for you. And I know you will because you are one smart lady. Take care and I hope all is well.

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  13. Maybe we feel more free to be our real selves with our children (grandchildren) and less so with our parents? But your kids seem so cool and so open with YOU! Maybe a poll is in order? I censor when around my folks because I don't want to hurt them. But doesn't that hurt me? Oy.

    If you receive any enlightenment or have any epiphanies on the subject, pass it on to us, will ya? Why, oh why? That IS the question!

    (Thumbs up)

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  14. i agree with Corinne. hugs to you, mary moon.

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  15. Because Owen is pure joy. Your mother...it's more complicated. It's a fact. He is the future, she is the past.

    Much love.

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  16. Corinne- And that is so much easier too. You're right.

    Syd- My premonition was that she was okay but...what if I was WRONG?

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- And that is all that I need to hear.
    Love you.

    Steph- And then I HAD to get ready in a big ol' hurry.

    Kathleen Scott- I am not holding my breath on that one.

    Jo- I have no idea. She is a different sort of grandmother, I'll tell you that.

    Jeannie- You are so profoundly correct.

    Mel- Thanks. I'm glad you liked the pictures.

    Ms. Fleur- Love you too.

    Kori- And that helped!

    Elizabeth- I think I did okay with the humor. Okay. Maybe I took it too far. Whatever. Saved MY ass.

    deb- Received.

    Jo- Done!

    Mr. Shife- And you are so sweet. Thank-you.

    Ms. Trouble- I am not counting on any epiphanies.

    Maggie May- And to you! Are you feeling any better?
    Oh. I hope so.

    Nancy C- Another profound truth. I have such wise commenters.

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  17. A bit harsh maybe, but I'm guessing your grandson has given you less shit in his life than your mother has. Just a wild guess. (From another bad daughter.)

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.