Thursday, June 20, 2019

A Very, Very Full Day


I got up pretty early this morning because I had to go into town to get my blood drawn in advance of my routine-every-six-months check-up with the sweet and lovely Dr. Zorn next week and if you know me at all you know how much I hate this and even if you do know me I doubt you know how much I have been dreading this appointment. I was okay about it in February and March but in April I started thinking about it too much and then in May I began really worrying about it and now it's June and I will admit that it's been on my mind almost constantly and yes, I do have a neurosis about this and no, I don't understand it but it's as real and solid as my kitchen stove, as undeniable as the sunrise.
So. Yes. I had to go get my blood drawn and as I have said before, the lab where I go packs people in like anchovies are packed into a small tin and when I'd first signed in and found a spare chair to sit in, I looked around and almost got back up and fled.
But I did not.
I sat there for the forty-five minutes it took for my name to be flashed up on the screen and then it took approximately forty-five seconds for the phlebotomist to take my blood. She was excellent and I told her so. I barely felt the needle slip into that vein.

And then I went to Hardee's and bought myself an egg, bacon, and cheese biscuit because it had been a fasting blood situation and I ate it on my way to Jessie's house, thanking god and all the angels for there not being a Hardee's at the Lloyd exit off of I-10 because if there is one fast food outlet that I have a very hard time avoiding, it is Hardee's.
That chain has its shit together when it comes to evil deliciousness.
I went to Jessie's because she and Vergil and the boys are leaving for their North Carolina summer trip on Sunday and it was my plan to try and help Jessie with the boys a bit so that she could get a few things done in preparation.
I can't say I helped that much but stories were read and while I was reading a tiredness came over me that reminded me of my days working at the Birth Center and how I'd feel after being up all night and still had work to do after the new family went home- the scrubbing of the tub, the finishing up of the laundry, the remaking of the bed, the sterilizing of the instruments and so forth. I'm not sure why I felt so suddenly exhausted but the point came when I could not keep my eyes open and I apologized to Jessie and took a tiny nap on August's bed.
It was okay and I felt much better when I woke up. I think that between the dread of the upcoming appointment and the knowledge that Jessie is going to be gone for a few months is dragging me down to some place that only sleep can rescue me from. Temporarily, at least.
We went and got a nice lunch and then I stayed at Jessie's house with Levon while Jessie took August to the doctor because he is obviously not hearing very well out of one ear. There is no doubt that it's related to this sinus infection he's had but she was worried and wanted it checked before they left. I had a good time with Levon and he was his merry self. We went outside so that he could play and we read a bunch of baby books and we did puzzles and played with a dinosaur train and looked at pictures on my phone of all his favorite people. He asked for milk and I gave him some and when I got my comb out to deal with my hair, putting it back in the braid I'd made at seven thirty this morning, I combed his hair a little bit, so very gently, and he liked it and asked for more and so I combed that fine, blond angel hair of his and sang him songs about how much I love him.
I can't believe they're leaving. And oh! What an amazing time they're going to have and August still remembers the little creek on his other grandmother's mountain where they waded and he found crawfish and he talked about his cousins and how he'll play with them and it's so good that he and Levon have this whole other world to live in and explore and be loved in- their daddy's world- but it's going to be hard on me, not seeing them for such a long time. They grow and change so quickly right now that even if we go and visit them, which of course we will, they will be completely different little boys in some ways although August did tell me that he will remember my name.

Oh Lord.

So that was the better part of my day and then I had to go to Publix and Mr. Moon asked if I would buy chocolate chips so that he could make cookies to take fishing with him this weekend which was a blatant request for me to make cookies and so I came home and made oatmeal, raisin, pecan, chocolate chip cookies which are practically health food if you think about it. And unloaded the groceries and put a load of laundry in the dryer and hung up the shower curtain I washed yesterday and I am so tired.
I know it's not real fatigue though, simply the fatigue of neurotic dread and anticipatory grieving.
I am so dramatic.
Well, guess what? I just am.

When I opened my freezer to put away the frozen pizzas I had bought (and that will be explained tomorrow, most likely) I discovered a box that was marked "Wild Alligator Meat" and also, "5.25 pounds."
As I told my husband who explained that this was a gift from a fishing buddy of his, I have no idea what to do with alligator meat and very little desire to learn.
I think he may have been hurt.
Well, this woman may have absolutely reached her limit on dealing with wild game. I'll take all of the small feral pigs you bring me but alligator meat? 
Yeah, probably not.
But one never knows.

That's my daily report.
More tomorrow.

Love...Ms. Moon


26 comments:

  1. I'm going to pretend that 5.25 lbs came from the 463 lb alligator by Tallahassee I just read about:)

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  2. We had deep fat fried breaded alligator on a stick in Florida a very long time ago. It was a restaurant called Salt Water Cowboy. It fronted on to a salt marsh. They were good, of course pretty much anything dunked in hot fat is good.

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    1. I know that restaurant- it's in St. Augustine! Yeah, you're right about the whole frying thing. You could batter and fry a tree root and if you served it with the right sauce it would be delicious.

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  3. Those resemble no chocolate chip cookies of my acquaintance, and I think Mr. Moon should kiss you on the lips for them, and deep fry you all up an alligator on a stick dinner. Just saying.

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    1. That's because they're basically oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips in them. They are very good. And Glen was very, very appreciative.

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  4. Joanne Noragon beat me to the punch. What.She.Said x 2. Sweet dreams and good rest to you.

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    1. Just imagining what a mess frying alligator would be is more than my delicate soul can handle. But kissing is fine.

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  5. I have the same doctor/blood test phobia. My appt is July 8 and it is a grey color over my life the closer it gets.

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    1. The blood thing itself doesn't bother me. It's the fact that they can take my blood and look at it and determine secrets that my body even keeps from me. There's something about that I can't handle.

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  6. I don't know what to say about the alligator meat or the phobia. I guess I have no helpful perspective on either- life is full of mysteries!

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  7. I do not wish to pry (well maybe I do) and perhaps you have answered this before - but why do you have to have your blood taken? I will understand if "No Comment" is your response or even "**** off Mr Nosy!"

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    1. Y'all don't get blood drawn? How do they know what your cholesterol is and all of the many other things they test blood for? Liver and kidney function. Levels of different vitamins. All kinds of things. I don't want to know any of this and I don't want them to know any of this. It's weird. But that's how we do it over here.

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    2. Also, that's not nosy as far as I'm concerned. I'll let you know if that happens.

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    3. Here in Merry Olde England bloods are only taken if there is an obvious reason for doing so. If you're in good health it doesn't happen.

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  8. great looking cookies. I should make some. nice that Virgil (right?) and Jessie get the summer off so they can spend it with his family.

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    1. Vergil will still be working. He works from wherever he is. All he needs is a phone, wifi, and a lap-top.

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  9. If anyone understands anticipatory grieving it's me. I know how much you miss Jessie and family every summer, and the knowledge that the boys are having a wonderful time on the mountain and in the creek helps only a little bit, I'm sure. This dual geography will only make them more interesting people, though. Maybe even evocative writers like their MerMer. I'm glad you let yourself lie down and sleep for a bit. Hugs, dear friend.

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    1. I had no choice in that nap situation! It just came over me like a ton of bricks and boom! I was asleep.
      And you are exactly right about the boys being so lucky to have two homes where they are loved to pieces in such different places.
      Thank you for the hug and I am hugging you back.

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  11. People who don't suffer from anxiety don't really understand how unpleasant it is, luckily for them!

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    1. I think it's probably impossible to really understand. I've tried to explain it to my husband and it's hard for him to get it. He has had a few small anxiety attacks in his own life though and so he gets it to a degree. He sure never wants to go through it again.

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  12. I hate getting the results of blood tests because there's always some new unpleasantness suddenly there. 'These numbers here are good, but over here..." Plus the prices for them are too damn high. When I do go to the Dr. she's always like 'I know you want to avoid them, but..."

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  13. Those cookies sound GREAT.

    I'm sure you were exhausted from the accumulated stress of your upcoming doctor visit. Thank goodness THAT's over! Hopefully now you can get some better rest.

    I've eaten alligator but it's not my favorite thing and I'd be happy if I never took another bite.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.