Saturday, August 26, 2017

Don't Amount To A Hill Of Beans

Dadgummit, it's been one of those days when all has seemed for nought and the thought has occurred to me more than once that just staying in bed might have been my best option but as we all know, unless I'm pretty sick that's not happening.
So I cut out a new dress for Maggie and I have to tell you that I don't think the people making patterns these days have a clue as to how to write instructions. I mean, you'll be merrily moving along with your project and then it'll say, "stay stitch yoke facing" and I'm like, "what yoke facing?" and I'll go back over the damn cutting diagram and sure enough, it does show that one has to cut out facings when you're cutting out the yoke but on the pattern piece itself it says, "Cut 2," not fucking "Cut 4."
And that's the least of my problems with this pattern and I seriously think my mind is melting into dementia, even as we speak.
Did I tell you what I did in the grocery store the other day? I don't think I did.
I not only grabbed the wrong cart while shopping in the produce section, I just kept merrily throwing my peaches and orange juice into it, not even noticing that it wasn't my bags and purse up there in the child seat until a woman came up and pointed out that I had her cart.
Okay, that's not really the worst of it. The worst was that micro-second where I was like, "Fuck- where's my cart?" Not because I was worried that someone had stolen my purse but because I just had no idea how long I'd been pushing the wrong damn cart around without noticing a thing.
I apologized profusely but I could tell the woman thought I was insane.

I absolutely hate getting old.

So. The dress has been put down and the sewing machine light turned off and I went to make a little loaf of bread using my at-least-twenty-seven-year-old Cuisinart and it simply stopped in the middle of the project. was on and then it was off.
Mr. Moon may have figured out how to fix that and if he has, I'll be so happy. I use the hell out of that food processor. God love a man who can fix things.

I've been listening to Barbara Kingsolver's Flight Behavior for two days and it's a damn fine book but it's pretty darkly pessimistic about the odds of the planet surviving in a way that will support life. So that's a bummer. Not that I'm not already aware of the problem. But being human I just don't want to deal with outcomes which are less than jolly.

To add to the frustration, I've been trying for a week to get an Apple ID situation sorted out and thought for sure I had done it but just got another message indicating that no, I have not. In fact, I've probably made it worse.

But, tomorrow the Weatherfords will be on their way back to sunny Florida and that of course is a most cheerful thought although I feel terrible for them, having to enter the heat cage again when they've been enjoying the much milder and more comfortable temperatures in Asheville.

I think I'll see if Mr. Moon wants to play some cards. I'll lose but I always lose when we play cards.
Also? I've just looked at some of the damage Hurricane Harvey left in its wake.
I got no problems. No problems at all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. That is an hilarious grocery story , or is it A hilarious- anyway, made me snort in the most unattractive way, Mr. Man said "WHAT'S WRONG?"- I have no hope for our planet holding it's own against everything coming at it...another couple of hundred years I reckon. but we will be long gone and so will your babies, and then this earth will likely lose it's magnetic field and the sun will go big and there will be spores sent out into space to begin again. elsewhere. That does not stop me from despair however, and I agonize over the horrid mentality that seems to be taking the lime light now. Lump in my throat every day.

    1. You know, it's odd. It disturbs me a little that some of the greatest achievements of humankind will be left forlorn and unknown after we're gone but mostly, not so much.
      All things must pass. It's some complex shit, isn't it?

  2. Whatever it amounts to, I like your hill of beans. Instructions in general - where do we apply? We could write to their standards in our sleep!

    Oooo I love fixing blenders and hand tools and sewing machines, wish I were closer. Sounds like Mr Moon will get your Cuisinart dialed in any case!

    My mom has had the same struggle with her AppleID. Snarfblat.

    Love me some Kingsolver. The planet will be fine! (Humans, maybe not so much.) The earth is running a fever, and just so happens, we're the virus...

    1. Yep. I think Mr. Moon has solved the problem. He's so good at these things and I am in awe of anyone who is.
      Like you.
      Kingsolver is amazing. She narrates the audio version of her book and she's a terrific reader. I think I've listened to her reading The Lacuna at least twice, maybe three times. I do love that book.
      Yeah, I think the planet will survive. Just not the virus. The fever we've created will probably wipe us out.

  3. My grandma bought me Reade's Digest Complete Guide to Sewing and on one of my many purges I got rid of it. I don't regret getting rid of many things but that book is one of them. Not only was it from my grandma, graduation gift at that, it is an excellent reference book. Now that my chickadees have left the nest I will have time for sewing.

    Today when I was in the grocery store I had a short chat with a lady about how people don't say excuse me when they walk in front of someone. At first we were kind of negative and wondering what has happened to our planet and then we agreed that maybe there is hope for us after all. If you can make friends with a total stranger in a grocery store and leave the conversation feeling better about things, maybe there is hope. Barbara Kingsolver might just be wrong. Let's hope so.

  4. I can't do audio books - I need to see the words to understand them. And I have never liked to have anyone read to me, either. Even when I was a child, I wanted to read for myself. Like you, I used to feel guilty about taking the time to read; but I got over that when I retired! I read several hours a day now. News, fiction, blogs. Never Facebook or Yahoo News, though; I am boycotting them.

  5. Sometimes I just want to nuke all my passwords and start over. Wouldn't that be nice?

    I liked "Flight Behavior," but yeah, it's not optimistic. The opposite of that book she wrote about the Appalachian forest and the old man trying to regrow chestnuts and the bear scientist...can't remember its name.

    Maybe that pattern was written overseas? Imported products can make for confusing instructions!

    1. "Prodigal Summer" -- that's the one I was thinking of.

  6. i can't sew when following a pattern to save my life. i can alter. i can mend. i can cross stitch and embroider.... i know how to thread a machine and all the purposes of all the fancy stitches but the way pattern directions are i'm like fuck this mess and end up with pants with three legs....


  7. Aging sucks. Bah humbug. I am afraid that is my current mood, but it is leavened with love for you.

  8. Yes, our problems pale against those trying to survive the Hurricane stalled out over Texas. I have many Friends and Family there and it is concerning when you consider a city of five million might need evacuation to keep people safe enough! I had to smile at your Grocery Cart story, you are mos def not the Lone Ranger, I've taken the wrong Child to the Pediatrician before now... evidence that Women my Age should not still be raising young ones! *winks* I can't sew with a pattern at all or with a machine, so only hand work for me.

  9. A new BarbaraKingsolver! Great... though... maybe not, as you say. I'm not surprised that's her subject matter though. She's not subtle about her ecology.

    I have never had a good interaction with Apple or their IDing. Bah humbug.

    Ugh, the trolley thing :( People are s trangely uncharmed by such absentmindedness, I find. You'd think they'd be more entertained by their own superiority, wouldn't you?

  10. I don't attribute that to getting old, I attribute that to not paying attention. sounds better. and about the planet, I just hope we as a species just manage to kill ourselves off instead of every living thing.


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