Thursday, March 18, 2010

Pictures And Too Many Words. Blame The Espresso.

What a day! Rock and roll, hootchie-coo!
Ms. Moon went to town! Ms. Moon got a pedicure! Ms. Moon saw people! Ms. Moon drove Ms. May to the airport! Ms. Moon went to Costco! Ms. Moon went to the New Leaf and the library! Ms. Moon went to Publix!

Okay. I'm done. Night-night. Go to bed.

No. You know that's a lie. I am never done. It was a fun day. It really was. I met Ms. May at the nails place and we did get pedicures. Here's how May looked, all beautiful and happy:

And you see that guy walking across the room? If he wasn't there, you would be able to see a picture of Professional Woman! My Mortal Enemy! Because she came into the nail place when we were there. It was quite unnerving.
Do you remember on Seinfeld how whenever Jerry would run into that guy he did not like and he would always say, "Hello, NEWMAN," and he'd say it with such disdain? Well, that's how I say hello to PW. "Hello, *******," I say, with the same tone of voice. That's what I did today at the nail salon. And then I ignored the fact that she was there and May and I used our raucous, happy voices to discuss our raucus, happy lives. Haha!
I'm so mean.
Anyway, here are my toes:

Aren't they beautiful? Instead of OPI "I'm Not Really A Waitress," which is the color I always choose, I went with "Cavier and Vodka" because that is what the Jezebels' official meal is. Along with Champagne, of course. I am thinking that when we have our first meeting (party) we should all paint our nails with this fabulous color. And can I also say that having someone massage your feet and calves with smooth, hot stones is about the most pleasure I can stand?
Thank-you. I tipped well.

From the nail salon I went to Lily's house to pick her and Owen up. We drove to the library. Owen was good at the library but he was not a happy camper today, mostly. He is on the cutting edge of cutting a new top tooth and he is not doing it with grace and submission. He is doing it with bitching and wailing. I don't blame him. But he was good in the library where Lily and I did NOT run into anyone we knew, thank god.

Then, on to the New Leaf which is where they sell the gorgeous produce and the bulk things like bulgar wheat and mung beans, etc. This was all fine and good until we ran into a Woman From My Past with whom my relationship with did not end well. I'm sorry. I am such a mean and bitchy woman. Lily pointed this out to me. She is right. But this woman. Well, I'm not going to get into it but I will say this- I think she buys her jeans at the Tall Baby store because they are not big enough around to fit a full-grown human who is taller than me. I don't even think that the Gap with their size 00 would have jeans to fit her. She is thin. She is beautiful. She has always been thin and beautiful. She always will be. She has always intimidated me to some degree, even when we were the best friends on earth.
BUT- I have a gorgeous grand baby now.

She has no grandchildren. Oh well. Sucks to be her. (I doubt it.) She wanted to know what Owen is going to call me. I told her I have no idea but that he will just have to name me when he's ready. That I refer to myself as Grandmama and as boring as that is, it's the truth. I did decide last night after I finished ironing Mr. Moon's shirts that I should be called "Old Mama." I was tired.

Anyway, we survived the New Leaf and we did get to see Aunt Tay-Tay. I wish I'd taken her picture. She was so beautiful. She cooks at the New Leaf for their deli section and she is a beaming woman with a giant tattoo on her chest that says, "Daddy."
I love Aunt Tay-Tay.
And unfortunately, Thursday is one of Billy's days off so we did not see him. Dammit.

Then we went to May's house to pick her up. She was finishing up her packing and scurrying around to make the place nice for Jessie who is going to stay in her apartment while she's gone and take care of her kitty cat. She even left chocolate on the pillow! Chocolate we got at the nail salon, I might add. They have really good candy there in a big bowl. When we were leaving, I took two small Reese's and a tiny Hershey's dark chocolate. "Hello, lunch!" I said. And I said it with honest affection and not with disdain.
Anyway, we loaded up the car with May's luggage and we drove to the airport and we dropped May off. We hugged her and kissed her and told her to have a wonderful time and she looked like she just might do that.

I took no pictures at Costco. I think they might arrest you there if you do. So you'll just have to take my word on the fact that I was there. Everyone flirted with Owen and he, being in pain and not too happy about the world, tried to smile back at everyone but Jesus! It's like a job, smiling at people who talk to you when you're Owen. I mean, really!

And oh! I forgot to tell you about when Lily and I went through the drive-through at Starbucks. The guy (Ryan) asked if we were interested in ordering the newest flavor, Dark Cherry Mocha. I told him no, that I had heard it tasted like Robitussin. (Thanks,Omgrrrl! for the head's up.) Ryan insisted that it did not but I never order fancy drinks at coffee places. Let's face it- they are milk shakes, even if they aren't cold and thick and I don't drink milk shakes so there you go. I ordered two shots of espresso over ice and Lily ordered something in the milk shake category. I was bantering back and forth with Ryan and the other girl who was talking to us on the speaker and Lily was so embarrassed. Let's face it- she may be a mother but she's only twenty-four and still young enough to be embarrassed to be in the presence of someone (her mother) who says things like, "I feel like I'm on TV!" to the people inside the Starbucks. I told her that I have, at this age, given up all worries about being cool which means that I am now completely cool. She didn't buy it and threatened not to let Owen hang out with me because I'm such a dork.
I gave her "the look." You know which one I mean. The Mother Look. Later, Owen gave the Mother Look to Lily and I asked her how it made her feel. She just took a picture of Owen with her phone and drank her coffee.

So that was my day in town. It was a happy day and I have the toenails to prove it. And now I'm home where shitfire, there is another damn bat flying around the back porch. Where I am sitting. How many bats can there be?
All right. It just flew out. Phew because Mr. Moon is in town playing poker.

When I got home I went out to check the garden (the peas are not up yet) and I took this picture:

There were about fifty other cardinals but I only got these three.
And I also took this picture:

Which is the only purple violet I've found so far this year. There will be more.

And now I'm going to make a cake and put fresh strawberries on it for the dessert I'll be eating after I eat my leftovers. The cake is one we used to talk about in Weight Watchers and it is so simple that I will now give you the recipe: (Allegra- please do not read any further. It's too embarrassing.)

Take the contents of the things in that picture. Mix them well. Pour the thick, white goop into a large baking pan. It rises a lot so make sure it's LARGE. Bake at 350 degrees until a toothpick comes out clean. That's it. And yes, you use the entire can of crushed pineapple. Don't drain it. Don't make this harder than it is.

Slice strawberries and put them on top of your piece of this cake. Enjoy. It's really good. I am not kidding you.

And now I'm done. Seriously. Go to bed. Night-night. Sweet dreams.



  1. Uh -we will also be having beer! And biscuits. RIGHT?! Or else...I'm not sure I can join this particular club ;)

  2. Oh! And you, love, should drink espresso more often. But maybe in the mornings :) And I have no grandchildren!! Does it suck to be me?!?!? Hehe. I'm about to be an aunt of TEN many people can say THAT?!

    I'm obviously hyper myself. I blame the Nyquil.

  3. Ms. Moon, I am simply dazzled by your beautiful pedicure, and don't you just love OPI colors that have names that make you want to stop whatever you're doing and do THAT, whatever it is? Vodka and Caviar? Shut UP, is how awesome that is. Also, I took a photo of a purple violet in my driveway on the way home this afternoon that would be almost a mirror image of the one you took, facing to the left. But it's a little fuzzy so I'm not posting it. Mr. Rodney has some lovely shots of our little violets and I'll post them when I'm not writing about dogs and mean people. Note: we don't have any white violets, only those in those shades of purple you captured. We also have a family of catbirds who've arrived in the last couple of days, with babies fluttering their baby wings to be fed, like the cardinals do. It's amazing to savor the springtime with you.
    Love, love.

  4. "I told her that I have, at this age, given up all worries about being cool which means that I am now completely cool"

    Isn't it grand? I love giving less and less of a shit each day I'm alive.

  5. SJ- Not a CLUB! A society! And we can adapt to many dietary needs. I promise. And no, it does not suck to be you. I was being silly. She has three sons and none of them have reproduced yet.

    Angie C- Isn't it fun?

    Nancy C- Yes. I just want to have silly-times. Life is short. Why be cool when you can just be silly instead?

  6. i'll be honest; i'm so tired i cannot possibly read all those words.

    btu i will say this: send those tailfeathers and (resend) your address.

    oh, and measure that perfect round head of owen's for me, would you?

  7. Good. Because I'm counting on you making me biscuits one of these fine days, and it may as well be during a society meeting :) I will BYOB.

  8. Gorgeous May (almost as gorgeous as her mother), gorgeous toes, gorgeous Owen ~ what a day!

    I do not believe that "thin" and "beautiful" are words that go together very well (and that is spoken as a former thin, but not beautiful, person)...

    About the bats on your porch, why don't you get Mr. Moon or Lon to build a bat house high up in a tree???

    Angie, I saw my first catbird at Gatorbone today ~ I asked Lon, "Is that your word for them or is that really what they're called?"

    Love to Ms. Moon and everyone who reads her blog!

  9. I only had time to glance at the pics but I just wanted to tell you that I am fine. Just really busy with life as I am now taking some classes online besides all the other stuff I have going on. Anyway I love the pics and the dessert is really really good. Mrs. Shife has made it before. The grandbaby looks great as usual. Take care.

  10. I can't believe Lily called you a dork. That is the name that she has so lovingly graced upon me, and now I must admit that I am jealous of you taking over my dork position. I guess it's alright though for Owen to have two dorks in his life.

    I love bantering with strangers, and especially when someone like Lily is around who you can so easily embarrass.

    The other day, I was buying a ticket at the movies and the teller person halfway through ringing up my ticket price went in the back and a new teller came out and gave me my ticket without mention of the switch. I said to her, "you're looking a little different than just a second ago." She totally did not laugh at all, but it cracked me up, which is all that matters.

    Glad you had a fun, and caffeinated, day. May was so sweet to clean up this home so nicely for me. The chocolates were an awesome touch. And she of course left me a letter that was so beautiful, insightful and loving towards me that Melissa had to sit there and watch me cry for a few minutes. What a woman May is.

    And so are you, Ms. Mama.

    Sure do love you.

  11. Well you sure have some pretty looking feet, Ms. Moon. Every time I get a pedicure I just stare and stare at mine, not quite believing they belong to me.

    Oh, and you are not a dork by any means.

  12. Alright, what size of crushed pineapple?

    May looks gorgeous, every time I see her she looks more like you and poor Saint Owen, if we were cutting teeth I would be so mad I could spit nails.
    I used to get fresh ginger and rub the children's gums with it. It always worked, now I don't know if it was because it was calming or because they hated it so much that they stopped the whining so I wouldn't do it again. By the time I thought to ask them they were too old to remember. That is a good example of a dork Mother.

  13. I'm reading this in the am, as I did not have espresso, but rather a couple of glasses of wine before bed, which made it very difficult to stay up and wait as all the assorted children and friends wandered in at their assorted end of "let's party because it's March break" hours.

    I'm jealous of those cardinals. We have a pair that visit each day... but to see so many at once . Wow. And I think that officially makes me a dork.

  14. Ms Moon on espresso is even more delight!!!! Wow. Fantastic post. Loved reading about your full to the brim day with your dear kids and meeting ups and Owen. YOu're the best writer in the whole world. I would pay to read you. That I don't have to and that I can come here every single day for more sweetness, goodness, light and fun is a blessing and better than any fancy Starbucks coffee (and I love my fancy coffee).

    Good morning to you. Happy day.
    You lifted me up.
    Thank you.
    And can I just say, that is a fine looking garden fence. You must be thrilled.
    Great pics too.
    (and that's one blog recipe I can probably handle attempting. Looks yum. Thanks for not being too embarrassed to share!)

  15. PS Nice toes, nice color.
    And I hate toes. Mostly.

  16. What a great day. I hope May May has a good time. I know she was looking forward to the trip.

    I love you Ms. Moon. And you ARE cool dammit.


  17. You did have a crazy day! I had a sleepy day with my busted toe here at work, then went with Mark to say goodbye to our friend Kris, who is setting sail for more northerly climes. Your toes look nice. I was just thinking today, while putting on my shoes, that my heel callouses are getting a little out of hand. But I'm not really a pedicure kind of guy.

    Anyway, I'm gonna try to make it out there this weekend. I miss you!

  18. Adrienne- I will do all of that.

    SJ- Okay. Biscuits.

    Lulumarie- Those bats like to hang out in our chimneys. I do not know why. And May is FAR more gorgeous than I ever was because she is lit from within with a sweet fire. I saw the light of her before I conceived her. I really did.

    Mr. Shife- Okay. Just checking. You're sweet to reassure me.

    HoneyLuna- Ha! We are Mother-Daughter Dorks! That's just like what happened yesterday. First it was Ryan on the speaker and then another woman and I said, "What happened to Ryan?" She said, "Oh, he's still here." And he said, "Yep. I'm still here." It was great! I guess you had to be there. Sometimes I think it is my job to amuse the entire world.
    With my dorkiness.
    Isn't May aMAYzing?

    Angie- Yes. I pointed out in yoga that I had had a pedicure. "Check 'em out now," I said, "because that's as good as you're ever going to see them." Meaning my feet, of course.

    Allegra- Oh, you know. That regular size. Like you're going to make that! Well, if you do, you'll enjoy it to some degree. Blueberries would be good on it too. Also vanilla ice cream.

    Deb- I think the older we get, the dorkier we become but the happier we are about it.

    Bethany- My dear Billy hates toes too! Mostly. As he, too, would say. Thank-you for all of those sweet words. You make my day.

    Ms. Bastard- I can't wait to hear from May. I hope she is having the BEST time. And honey, we are ALL cool.

    DTG- I hope you do get out here this weekend. I miss you too! Is your toenail all black today?

  19. I'm so glad you had a good day in town! And I think I have to try that cake. Does it have to be Betty Crocker? I tend toward Duncan Hines usually.

    I'm gonna miss May and I'm not even in the place she's leaving from! How's that for dorky?!

  20. Stephanie- Use any brand you want. Whatever's cheapest. This ain't gourmet.

  21. It's sort of milky white and bloody. Ew!

  22. I got tired just reading about your day! But it sounds like you had a wonderful time with your girls and that adorable little boy. Hope his tooth comes in soon and gives him some relief!

  23. I love this post!!!! And good for you for your productive and fun adventurous day~! Now you don't have to do it again for another week! hee hee!

    I hope to see you and O man soon. WE are still recovering over here so, it will be after that.

    Hey, who is Mr Moon playing poker with these days?? Marc likes to play, but his guys only get together every once in a while...
    xoxo m

  24. Whoopee Ms. Moon went and treated herself to a day on the town! You deserve to treat yourself and isn't it fun to do a mother daughter day? I love having a day with the doesn't happen a lot...but I treasure those times. Owen at his age doesn't even have to feel out of place (when he is about 8 he may not enjoy the nail salon) but isn't it great he can be himself, teething and all...bless his little heart.

    And let us eat cake on top of it all!

  25. DTG- Daddy will heat up a nail and push it through the toenail to let the blood out. This is his remedy. You game?

    Rachel- Me too on the Owen thing. I told him yesterday that he can come back and visit me when that tooth comes through. I was just kidding.

    Ms. Fleur- Geo's on Thursday nights. Mr. Moon has a great time there. At Moon Plaza.

  26. The hell he will! But it's not swollen, I think I just knocked the nail all loose.

  27. DTG- That's what I always say when he asks me if I'd like him to help me with a banged-up nail.

  28. We have matching pedicures!!!


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