Friday, March 12, 2010

He Is Dancing In The Light

When I think of really fine Christians- Christians who live according to what I think Christ may have actually been saying- I have always thought of two people. One is Jimmy Carter for obvious reasons and the other was a man named Carroll Teeter.

I always called him Mr. Teeter because he was the father of friends of mine in Winter Haven when I was in high school. I think I may even have written about him before. He and his first wife were two of the people whom I did feel loved by entirely for who I was and for no other reason. Once, when I had not seen them for years, I stopped by their house in Winter Haven and just as I was knocking on their door, they pulled up into the driveway. Mrs. Teeter got out of the car and said, "Is that our Mary?" And she said it with such JOY that my heart just broke.
It was as if I were one of theirs, come back to see them after long, long journeys away.

I think that was the last time I saw either one of them, although Mr. Teeter and I had a bit of an e-mail correspondence back in the nineties. He took to e-mail as if he had invented it and if you read the article below, you will see that he even used it to romance his second wife.

Mrs. Teeter died some years ago and I just got an e-mail from an old friend today telling me that Mr. Teeter has now died too.

I KNOW Carroll Teeter was not afraid to die. His soul was joyful, always, and he was smart and he was a doer of good deeds and he was a bleeding heart liberal up 'til the end and he knew how to love.

I wish his children and his grandchildren and his wife could know how very much he meant to me. They know how much he will be missed. No need to point that out.

I mourn the loss of him, I celebrate the life of him.
And instead of saying, "Rest In Peace," I am going to say, "Dance In Joy!"

I found this article online from a publication in Central Florida. You may view it in its original from here, or you can just read it below.




Finding love a second time around

Couples kindle new romance in golden years

By Paula Stuart

Love

L O V E spells it all.
Illustration provided by Featured Families.

This month, it's hard to miss all those cupids fluttering through the air and the bright red Valentine hearts all around. Perhaps someone you know, or even you yourself, is lacking a special someone with whom to share this romantic holiday. Or perhaps you're single again and think it might be this way forever. Well, think again.

Four couples were handed lemons in their lives. Instead of mourning the past, they turned their lemons into lemonade and discovered romance can be found in one's golden years.

Carroll and Lucy Teeter

Lucy H. Jackson-Teeter, 86, enjoyed 49 years of marriage before loosing her first husband in February 1999. Carroll Teeter, 91, lost his first wife in August 1999. Both attend First Presbyterian Church in Winter Haven.

Carroll and Lucy Teeter

Carroll and Luc Teeter will celebrate their 10-year wedding anniversary this year. They each are in their second marriage.
Provided by the Teeters.

"We were both at a church supper, very casual," Lucy says.

That casual gathering in 1999 was the beginning of an e-mail marathon between the two.

"E-mail is a great way to start a relationship," says Carroll, who then was 81 years old. "We had a lot in common. We had a lot to write about. It started off as a comfortable beginning."

Carroll says the two of them both love to read and write, so he started using very intriguing words in his e-mail correspondence that he knew a lady would like.

The couple say they e-mailed frequently - up to several e-mails daily, even though they only lived six blocks apart.

"I couldn't wait to get on the e-mail every morning," Lucy says. "My son thought I was getting senile because of my actions. I was so anxious to get started on the e-mail."

After six weeks of primarily electronic courting, they accumulated a stack of correspondence two inches thick.

On Jan. 26, 2000, Carroll invited Lucy to his home on Lake Roy for tea.

"I drove six blocks, and when I got there, there was a big sign on the door that said, 'Marry me!,' not will you marry me?" Lucy says. "I walked right in. I didn't falter at all. I walked in the door and into the door of my heart."

Carroll says, "I had two glasses of wine and the Bible on the table. We were sitting in the living room looking out the picture window at the lake, and I read St. Paul's ode to love in Corinthians, and Lucy read 'How Do I Love Thee: Sonnets from the Portuguese,' by Elizabeth Barrett Browning."

They married on May 20, 2000, just a little more than a year after Lucy lost her first husband and less than a year's time after Carroll's first wife passed away.

"It takes nothing away from either of the previous marriages," Lucy says. "It's such a meaningful way to live these elder years."

Carroll says, "We feel sorry for people who say they'll never marry again. That's unnecessary loneliness."

In any new relationship, whether it's a second or even a third time around, or the type that seems like it's going too fast, the couple may soon realize that they aren't the only ones in the relationship.

"One of my sons didn't accept it at first. He didn't come to the wedding, but he has come around since, and he calls every day to see that we are OK," Lucy says.

Carroll has four children and Lucy has six, and they each have five grandchildren.

The couple, who will celebrate their 10-year anniversary this year, advises a sensible pre-nuptial agreement for anyone wishing to wed later in life when adult children are involved. They say it's important to each have a lawyer to protect the estates of each person for their children.

"That is the chief reason," Carroll says. "It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be pretty simple. The children approved of what we were doing."

Something else they've done for their children is to keep their own phone numbers, since they each have had them for many years.

"That's not a disagreement, just an accommodation," Carroll says. They also are both writing stories about their first marriages to leave to their children.

Lucy says this new beginning has restored them both.

The couple works together beautifully. Lucy proofreads all of Carroll's writings for him, with such stories about the history of the beginning of hospice, as well as the history of the Friends of the Winter Haven Public Library, and his current work on the history of Habitat for Humanity of East Polk County. They are each other's encouragers.

"I told him that he is the only one left alive with this kind of information, like names of people and so on," Lucy says.

For dating, the couple enjoys picnics, book reviews at Polk State College, visiting state parks and conversations with each other. They also read books to each other at bedtime.

With a combined 112 years of marriage, this couple recommends always going to doctors' appointments together to hear together and go through news together, and get the doctors' orders and prescription instructions together.


24 comments:

  1. My very favorite line in this is the very last one :) Aww :)

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  2. Stereotype Alert!!

    One thing I've observed thru the years is that people who were happily married have learned to trust, and they want to know that joy again if their mate crosses over. Those who were unhappily married would rather dig ditches than learn to trust or let go of their newfound freedom.

    So many times the adult children think the parent who is remarrying is being disloyal to their mother or father. When in reality, there's no greater tribute.

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  3. You were very lucky to know Mr. Teeter :o)

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  4. SJ- And Mr. Teeter would have loved it too.

    Laynie- I think it's true.

    Ken- And don't I know it?! Once, in high school, the Teeters gathered together our little group of weirdos: gay kids, too-smart kids, crazy kids, fucked-up kids, and they told us- "If you ever need us for any reason, at any time, you call us. And we will be there for you. We love you." And they meant it! You don't forget something like that. Ever.

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  5. What a glorious story. And such affirmation about wonderful people.

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  6. Totally sweet.

    Good of you to share.
    xoxo

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  7. That made my heart sing with joy of their second chance with love!

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  8. Jo- Yes.

    Ms. Fleur- Thank-you.

    Ellen- And so respectful of their first loves.

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  9. Wonderful story. There is no time limit on optimism and love. So glad you got to know Carrol Teeter.

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  10. Sigh. What a great story, and a great man.

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  11. A wonderful story and people. My dad died three weeks ago and I wish my mother could be like this. She will live in grief for the rest of her life. I'd rather she lived like this.

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  12. Kathleen Scott- I think that a joyful, loving heart cannot be changed. That's what Mr. Teeter taught me. Glad you like the Elvis picture. He's one fine rooster.

    Sandra- Who knows? Maybe, in time, she will want to open her heart again. But you know your mother better than anyone, so perhaps not. But wouldn't it be wonderful if she did?

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  13. lovely, mary.

    when you say, 'dance in the light', it made me think of this footage of bill bojangles robinson by which i was recently enlightened.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIQJzcldzAw&feature=related

    xo

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  14. Adrienne- And Bill Bojangles must be the God-Father of Gregory Hines, another dancer in the Light.
    Saints, all of them.

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  15. How fantastic -- no other words.

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  16. Very sweet and very lovely. We should all be that happy in our nineties

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  17. Thanks for passing on the heartening story today. So glad you had the Teeters in your life. They sound like such dear, giving people and I am glad you got some of it. x0 N2

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  18. oh, sweet sweet sweet.
    thanks for sharing this.
    i loved the image of you knocking on their door and then the words that were called out to warm you and make you feel so loved, welcomed and adored. You do that for people now, so well. I think because you know how it made you feel.
    loved the article too.
    May they all dance on.

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  19. I think I understand how you felt about being accepted as part of that family. My best friend's family has been like that for me since junior high. It is the best feeling in the world when I walk in the door and her mom and aunts all yell "jilly bean!!" It's like a bonus family:)

    Have a super Saturday!

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  20. "They also read books to each other at bedtime."

    I love that.

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  21. DTG- Doesn't that just make you love him so much?

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  22. This is adorable, Mary. I'm sorry to hear of that Mr. Teeter passed, but it sounds to me like it was a very good full life. God bless him.

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