Well, this morning is just drenched in light. Drenched I tell you.
I realize sadly that the Bradford pears are not going to give us their usual show due to the hurricane-like winds we had last weekend. Winds that pushed Owen's hair up and ruffled it like a chicken's comb and made him gasp in the parking lot of Publix.
March has certainly come in like the lion it is supposed to come in like but today things are more lamb-like and that is sweet. The bat appears to be gone and I slept well although I woke up from a dream wherein Mr. Moon had taken a mistress and was living in a cheap tourist court in a bad part of town and hanging out in front of it wearing his flannel boxer shorts and looking, by the end of the dream, surprisingly like my first husband.
I am trying to taper off my anti-depressants and it is interesting to see what the mind does as its chemicals change. So far my main observation is that my dreams have taken a decided turn for the trashier. Instead of dreaming of a beautiful house with secret rooms, I dream of trailer parks and low-rent dives. Although this is disappointing, it is hardly a reason to stay on anti-depressants. I am trying to ignore the obvious fact that the Lexapro gave me an inflated sense of self wherein my ego played on gleaming wooden floors covered with wine-colored Oriental rugs instead of the cracked and worn linoleum it seems to truly feel at home on.
Bah.
Speaking of trailer parks, there is one right in the center of Lloyd. Not exactly a park but just a small piece of land where some ancient and slowly unpeeling single-wides are rented out. I noticed last week that one of the trailer's occupants were moving and this made me incredibly happy. There were small children living there and I hope with all my heart that they are moving somewhere better. Somewhere with a real yard and better windows than the ones the little children peered out of as I walked by, tearing my heart and tugging it, too. If the mother was outside, I would always smile and say hello but she never even acknowledged my presence. I wanted to tell her that I lived in a trailer once myself and just because I live in a beautiful house now doesn't mean I don't remember. Doesn't mean I can't recall what it was like to live in three rooms in a straight line. Doesn't mean you can't be friendly and it doesn't mean you can't do the best you can with it. I hope they do a better job of picking up their trash, wherever they are moving. I could never understand the massive accumulation of trash bags in that they lived virtually right across the road from the trash place.
Well.
It would be a fine thing if that whole piece of property took fire, although of course with no one living there. I can't believe the county thinks these trailers are safe to rent. They are not decent housing by any standards and I have seen some funky houses in my life. Frankly, I would much rather live in a house made of sticks in the Yucatan than in one of these tin boxes. I have lived in a single-wide myself, had a baby in one, in fact, but these trailers are not fit for human habitation.
Well, what are you going to do?
It's an Owen day and here he is:
I know. He's all depressed and worried. Poor baby. I better go play with him.
My god, it's a beautiful day.
I used to live in one of those trailers, too, and while sure, roof over your head, blah blah, it was a terrible place to live.
ReplyDeleteI wish I was as depressed and worried as that sweet Owen; baby life is so sweet!
That Owen appears to be your anti-depressant. He is just so damn cute.
ReplyDeleteHe's gonna get ya.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes. The tin box. Been there, done that. It was home and it made me a little sad when it had to be hauled away by a truck.
But then I went inside and got over it. We still have a "manufactured home" but it's twice as big as the tin box was and has REAL windows and a real kitchen. It's like a whole 'nother life.
Lookit them teefers!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of moving somewhere that has a March drenched in light. We don't get that until May or June. Just a shame over your way has alligators, snakes and spiders. I suppose there's a price to pay. Italy or Spain maybe...
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how all the insecurities come out, especially when husbands dare to go away from home sometime to - I don't know - WORK or something? I get the same. When Babes goes out to play pool with his mates, I dream he has a girlfriend. Bad, bad, unsettling dreams.
I was giggling about the dream of Mr. Moon’s mistress. I kept picturing planting seeds.
ReplyDeleteAnd honest to goodness when I read sentences like this I swear I am reading published literature: “Instead of dreaming of a beautiful house with secret rooms, I dream of trailer parks and low-rent dives. Although this is disappointing, it is hardly a reason to stay on anti-depressants.”
Owen is going to LOVE all these pictures of him on his Grandma’s porch and yard and about town. He sure does look like a happy boy, with gorgeous big eyes!
I lived in a trailer back in the 60s when I was18 and just starting out. Didn't everybody?
ReplyDeleteI've never been on anti-depressants (doesn't mean I shouldn't have been at one time), but have had a recurrent house dream for decades. It starts out that I'm walking down the street and see an interesting brick house with a nice front porch - the house looks to be small, maybe 1,200 sq ft. I go inside and there are typical small rooms. I find a niche with a door, open it, and on the other side is a huge ballroom. Another door leads to a giant storage area full of priceless antique furniture and rare vases from around the world. I run outside to the sidewalk to look at the house again, and it hasn't changed...still about 1,200 sq ft. I know I should question my sanity, but I can't because I've just seen it with my own two eyes. Some very intuitive friends have interpreted this dream as the house representing my soul, which is a heckuva lot bigger than anyone could ever imagine. I think it's just about a house.
When I had the choice of buying a new brick house in the burbs or an 85-year old place that needed lots of work - actually it was no choice at all..chose the older place with 10' ceilings, original tall baseboards and crown moulding, solid oak walls that a chainsaw can't cut thru, big front and back porches, 13 rooms, basement, very old pecan, oak, and walnut trees, etc. It needs lots of work and we were going to call a contractor, but found that even tho it's slow going, we love doing it by ourselves.
I would DIE if I had to live in a "normal" house with 8' ceilings in the burbs, or a cheap McMansion with 12' ceilings in the burbs.
Well, maybe not DIE, just be very unhappy.
OK, after a few weeks I'd probably be so happily involved with other matters that where I lived wouldn't matter one whit.
Sorta like living in a trailer. Full circle.
But I do wonder why people stack trash bags on the front porch. Makes it look like the house vomited.
By the way, I was looking at "trailers" awhile back with a friend. Nowadays they're 2,500 sq ft, three fireplaces, sunken Jacuzzi tubs, stained glass windows, Sub-Zero appliances, etc. Sorta like my old house will be when it's finished, lol.
Life is good. *cheers*
I wrote about houses as well, although mine was snark-tastic.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't people say hello all the time? I just don't understand why some people cannot see the humanity in others. I'm glad you do.
Those pearly whites shining through on the bottom make his smile all the brighter!
ReplyDeleteKori- Listen- the trailer I moved into was a step up from where I had been living. It had running water.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth- I have thought about that.
Stephanie- Trailers can be not so bad at all. Even tiny ones. But the ones in downtown Lloyd are just plain nasty and too old.
DTG- Waylon is working on his first ones now.
Mwa- I hear Spain is nice. And I've never once been attacked by an alligator.
I hate those dreams. We need to stop having them.
Michele R- Your whole comment just made me feel good. Thank-you.
Laynie- I'll bet your house is beautiful.
Nancy C- And I enjoyed it.
Rebecca- I know. Cuteness.
Not at all, Mrs. Moon, but it will be someday.
ReplyDeleteI guess we're supposed to be wired to want to move into the perfect house RIGHT NOW. Not me. I don't expect our projects to be totally complete for another 10 years, and by then it will be time to start over again.
I'm sure we'll enjoy the laughter and journey of working on it together a lot more than arriving at the final destination of so-called 'perfection.'
I like knowing that we'll always have something to work on together with our hands and a few tools. I look at McMansions and wonder 'what do those people work on in their spare time?' I know, they work a second job to pay for it, lol. Nothing feels better than an older house with a mortgage that says 'Paid in full.' There ain't NO granite countertop, swimming pool, or 6-car garage than can bring that much peace of mind!
This may be too far off topic, but if health care reform doesn't pass, at the very LEAST they should make laws that you cannot lose your house over medical bills. Not all states are the same, but in TN you can lose your HOME over medical bills. Wrong, wrong, WRONG!!
Loved your topics today, as always.
He looks like he's playing the air piano, or maybe choreographing or something! So cute! And I can see those pearlies on the bottom.
ReplyDeleteYummy!
PS I know the woman you speak of. Her children are sweet, she is off. And unfortunately, a smoker... I never see her outside unless she's walking to the bus stop to pick up her son.. which leads me to believe that on top of the other issues there, she is likely smoking indoors in that tiny space, with 3 children. sigh.
Owen is super adorable, and those little teeth look ready to bite into all the yummies in the world.
ReplyDeleteYou know, when I was pregnant with my first born I used to dream of my husband having affairs. With my second pregnancy I felt so miserable that I didn't really care if he did or not. I just wanted to feel better.
Those are Happy Zombie arms Owen is trying to git us with =o).
ReplyDeleteWishing you sweet dreams, Dear Lady. x0 N2
I am a day behind on the post reading and I do dislike that....I enjoy your writing about the town you live in. I try to imagine it and walk along with you...
ReplyDeleteIsn't it odd how people choose not to say Hello when you say hello? I always acknowledge people when I walk or pass by. I always smile too. Whenever I see little old people I really make a point to make eye contact and greet them...I love it when they make a warm smile back...
Of course if one lived in an unpleasant place it might make it harder to have that smile...unless they saw it as not a forever deal...but it would be real hard to see kids reacting the same way...and having to grow up amidst trash too...no way to be.
Dreams...well that is quite the dream dear...and maybe the reduction of your meds. is opening up a different channel...I do hope you have very few side effects from this..keeping my fingers crossed for you!
March...and the wind...now we have a warming trend...yesterday in the mid 70's...and it felt good.
That little Owen and his joyous smile.... :) my smile to you back!
Owen's face makes me happy and so does you, trying to talk to that woman who lived in the trailer. You are a sweetness, and I love you so.
ReplyDelete