Friday, November 13, 2009
That Boy Is Fine
Back when my kids were babies and small children, I took them to a pediatrician who is now Owen's pediatrician. He and I differed on opinion when it came to certain things but over the years, I came to fall a bit in love with him.
Thankfully, he never had to save one of my children's lives or anything as dramatic as that. They mostly suffered from the usual childhood illnesses and never too seriously. But what I came to love about him was how he treated me and the children with respect.
He knew I was a nurse and he respected my opinion on what was wrong with the children. He always listened carefully and attentively and asked me questions that he knew as a mother and a nurse I could answer. He certainly disagreed on my decision to birth at home but he respectfully disagreed and when I would bring in my newborn the day after birth, he would smile and congratulate me. And he respected the children and it showed in the way he touched them during exams and listened to them as they got older.
And now he's Owen's doctor.
When we saw him on Tuesday he very strongly said that he did NOT want Lily to quit breastfeeding but that he thought that Owen truly needed to be taking in more calories. His first suggestion was that we contact a lactation consultant whom we already know. He said, "She knows all the stuff I don't." And yes, a pediatrician should probably know all that stuff, but dammit, he admits he doesn't and he wants you to see someone who does.
I respect that.
When we took Owen back today, he had gained a whopping nine ounces which is great for three days. The doctor was pleased and asked Lily all about what she was doing and if her milk production seems to have increased which he said it does sometimes just because the pressure is off. He asked if we'd seen the lactation consultant.
And we were all very, very happy.
Lily has done everything she knows to do. She's researched the subject thoroughly. She takes the supplements, she co-sleeps, she gets rest and plenty of water. She eats well. She is doing everything any one could do and she is going to the breast feeding support group next Wednesday. I think she is predictably upset that her milk doesn't seem to be enough for Owen but he also has a bit of a tongue-tie problem which makes nursing harder than drinking from a bottle and that may be the problem right there. They're going to get that fixed.
And so I feel better about things. I keep telling Lily that she's doing everything just right. And that the important thing is that Owen is getting breast milk, it's still the main part of his diet, he still loves the nurnies, and now he's growing.
There's so much to worry about when you're a young mother. I so well remember.
When we were leaving today, the doctor, who is now a grandfather himself said to me, "Now you stay out of trouble." I looked at him as if...what? What trouble could I get into?
And I realized he was saying, "Don't worry so much."
"Just enjoy that baby," he said. "You've paid your dues with yours. Just enjoy."
Once again, I felt respected. He knew how I was feeling and he wanted me to know that it's now time for me to just enjoy the fruits of my labors. Or my daughter's labor, as it were.
I appreciated that. I needed to hear it. Because Owen is everything to all of us who love him. But Lily is his mother and she is doing a great, great job.
In fact, at one point, the doctor looked at Lily and said, "You're doing great, Lady."
And it seemed like it was yesterday that I was the mama and Lily the little naked baby on the exam table and those same hands had palpated her tummy that were palpating Owen's and he was telling me I was doing a great job. I could have died for pride of Lily.
Yep. I still like that doctor.
And now it's time to get ready for tonight's performance and although I am nervous, I know I don't have to worry about my Owen. He is gaining weight and he is with his mama and his daddy who are giving him the best and most loving care that he could ever receive.
And he has a good pediatrician. Whose voice Owen seemed to be fascinated by. And who has comforted my fears for a good long time now- decades- and is doing a good job comforting Lily's.
I feel very lucky. Very lucky, indeed.
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So glad to hear that things are looking up for Lily and Owen!
ReplyDeleteOur L was tongue tied at birth; not horribly, but definitely tongue tied. He did not latch for 2 days, and I thought my BF'ing was going to be over before it started. But a more 'experienced' nurse came that second night and helped me get him latched - we ended up using a nipple shield for a couple of months. Not sure where I was going with that...
I feel the same way about my doctor - who is my ob-gyn and my childrens' doctor. She is so very awesome in the same way - when she disagrees with my opinion, she let's me know, but totally in a respectful way. I love her, and I can only hope that someday maybe she will be my grandbabies' doctor too :-)
Best of luck to you tonight, MM! You will do fantastic, I am sure!!
Justme- Thank-you so much!
ReplyDeleteThat's a great photo, too.
ReplyDeletethat foto is so uber-cute it tears me up...
ReplyDeleteand..please..give lily some mother beer she and the baby can need the extra calories..but wait..i dont remember anymore...do you have dark malt beer in the states???
The only thing that beats having a healthy baby is having a great pediatrician. I am so completely in love with our pediatrician. He's amazing and a grandfather. I think that's why he's so good.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realise this had been such an issue.
ReplyDeleteFixing the tongue tie will take two seconds and will make all the difference, instantly.
Fennel tea, porridge and prosecco for Lily. Stat!
Make sure the lac consultant checks his latch too, sometimes if they're not on completely right they don't get to the hind milk wnough.
Lily's milk is MORE than enough for him, she just needs help getting all the ducks in a row. Yay for lactation consultants!
Sadly, so often people don't go, or wait til things are in crisis. So glad your pediatrician knows who to refer to.
With things sorted, he might not feed so often either. My friend just had the same thing.
She did a few visits to the baby osteopath, as well as getting the lac consultant over, that helped too. Lily had a long hard labour, I'm sure Owen got fairly scrunched during it too. I really believe in osteopathy for mothers and babies, sorts out so much that can affect them the rest of their lives, and nobody else sees it.
Look at that gorgeous boy!
ReplyDeleteAh, sigh, such good news. I am so glad there IS a lactation consultant there, I know that with Hanna, mine really just saved us both. It is so hard to be so new at it, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteSo glad Owen is growing! In those first few months, we become rather obsessed with the scale, don't we? Maybe he will be able to sleep for a little longer stretch, which would be great for mom and baby!
ReplyDeleteI dunno. Owen looks beautiful and perfect to me. Lily's doing a great job.
ReplyDeleteI love when I get to take of second generation babies. Makes me feel like an institution. In a good way. I'm sure your doc feels the same.
DTG- The phone. He was talking to his mama.
ReplyDeleteDanielle- I will look for some. Isn't he gorgeous? I mean, I think he is because I'm his mama's mama but really- I think he's gorgeous. I almost cry every time I leave him.
Rebecca- It helps. Yes, it helps.
Ms. Jo- You are always full of the good advice. Thank-you.
Stephanie- Every chance I get.
Kori- Yep. It sure can be hard.
Rachel- He was looking skinny to me. And the scale just backed that up. He needs to chunk out some.
Michelle- I'm sure this doctor does. I wish you were closer so we could bring Owen to you for your care. I do.
That picture is just so darn cute. He is a beautiful boy, and I'm glad to hear that he's gaining weight. It's so hard with the first baby even when you have the brilliant Ms. Moon as your mother and grandmother. I hate giving baby advice but I do feel strongly about one thing: osteopathy -- specifically one who treats newborns. Seriously. I could go on forever about the benefits but won't. I had two of the jolliest baby boys who were seen by an osteopath at eight days old and then regularly to this day. At the first sign of reflux, colic, neck tortion, etc, they were treated and both breastfed easily for fourteen months.
ReplyDeleteIt is heartbreaking when you realize that you don't have enough milk...I nursed both mine for 3 months and then the milk just wasn't enough. I accepted it and have hopefully moved on...it still pinches but at least both my boys are, touchwood, healthy!
ReplyDelete@ ms moon
ReplyDeletehe totally is! what i like most are his big, dreamy eyes and his and the perfect shape of his forehead...pretty pretty pretty
hm..i dont know how long blogs last but you really should print out all the posts and coments about owen and collect them for him so he later can read how much he was admired and loved and everything from the start...and even before..:-)
I love that dox's comment: "You've paid your dues, just enjoy!" So wise!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad both mom and babe (and granny ;) are doing so well. Honestly, the scale tho... ditch it. My midwife was against them (caused too much unnecessary stress) and we left it up to the pediatrician visits every 3 months to determine his weight and growth.
A practiced eye (my midwife) just monitored (daily) how the baby was eating and how the milk was flowing and that was her measure. She said babies always lost weight the first week+ and then as the milk came in and everyone got used to nursing the baby would make up for it in no time.
He's beautiful. I can see why he makes you cry with joy.
He's so adorable. So glad to hear he's putting on weight now. Since he was kind of big at birth, he needs more calories than a 6 pound baby would need. I'm sure your daughter's milk production will catch up.
ReplyDeleteI love him so much!!!! I think Danielle and Jo have good ideas... I can just see Ms. Lil sitting down to dark beer and porridge, although as she doesn't like dark beer it may not be as fun as all that.
ReplyDeleteOkay, now, tell us about the play! The play's the thing, Mama-Dee.
From day one I have thought that Owen was a very beautiful boy and I don't say that often. And what an awesome doc y'all have had near you. I think it's pretty neat that Owen has a community--he is growing in a place that has family history.
ReplyDeleteHope you had a great night out!
Owen is adorable, and I love your pediatrician a little bit too. What a comfort to have a doctor you trust in your lives. I remember well the worries of a new mother, and hope Lily is spared the worst of it, as she has such a great family to help her through.
ReplyDeleteAnxiously awaiting your post about the play!
Lily and Owen will be just fine, but trying to nurse a baby with a sort frenulum isn't easy. I had two of those. They gained slowly at first, but we stuck it out and they did just fine. I do wish the doctor would have been more helpful with that problem, though. I do think it could have made it much easier. It sounds like she has things under control. :-) And that she has a lot of good support, which is so nice to hear.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also wanted to add that he is just too darn cute!!! He would almost make me want another. Almost. But I think 4 of them, combined with my age and the fact I am not married now, is enough reason to call it quits. lol
Elizabeth- I need to see if we have an osteopath around here. I suppose we must, eh?
ReplyDeleteMs. Roshi- We all deal with what we have, don't we? And are blessed in the end, no matter what, as long as our babies are healthy.
Danielle- That is such a good idea! I need to do that. Thank-you for suggesting and thank-you for saying he is so beautiful. We surely do think so.
Geeksinrome- Well, MY eye told me that Owen wasn't gaining the way he should. But I can already tell a difference in his face. It is growing rounder and ever more beautiful.
Lucy- I swear, I think it's that frenulum.
May- I believe Lily could learn to like dark beer. Why not! And she already eats oatmeal. Perhaps she just needs to eat more of it.
Michele Renee- He certainly does have a loving community. Our little Oh-Oh, as I call him. Our precious baby boy.
Mel- The play post is UP!
K- If Owen wasn't my grandson, he would make ME want to have another and that is impossible. Luckily, I get the joy of him whenever I want and I recommend grandmother-hood with all my heart and soul.