Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thanksgiving
Notice anything strange about that egg?
Yes. It is sort of pointed at both ends. One of my chickens, and I do not know which one, is laying these giant suppository-shaped eggs. When I got the first one, I thought that it was an early attempt at egg-laying, a learning experience, which sometimes happens when the hen first begins to lay. But no, I have gotten several in the past few days so I suppose this is just the shape of egg this hen lays.
Interesting. But hardly earth-shaking.
And that's my life today, only without the interesting part.
Okay. There is one thing going on which is a bit out of the ordinary. I am going to take part in a small production at the Opera House on December 4th and 5th which is not quite like anything I've ever done or quite like anything the Opera House has ever done, as far as I know.
There is a writer who lives in Jefferson County who teaches at FSU who has won a Pulitzer Pulitzer Prize for one of his books. Robert Olen Butler is his name. And he also has a theater background and he does readings at the Opera House every year for charity.
Jan, the director of the Opera House, fell especially in love with one of his books, specifically one of the characters. The book is Mr. Spaceman and it's about yes, a spaceman, an alien, who hovers over the earth, bringing people up to his space ship to interview them. They tell him their stories. And Jan wanted to bring this to the stage in the form of narration and she talked to Mr. Butler about it and he liked the idea and so...here we go.
There are only two female characters who will be telling their stories in this production and I am reading one of those parts. This all just came about in the last few weeks and we have only had one read through and it was not complete because not everyone was there and Mr. Butler wasn't there and he's doing the narration- the Spaceman part.
But. In a week and a half, I am going to get up on stage and read six pages of the story of a woman named Viola Stackhouse and yes, I am nervous as hell. So add that to the whole holiday madness and perhaps you can see why I feel completely frozen in time, not unlike one of the Spaceman's humans, and here I sit, telling you my story while the world whirls on without me and I have only bought a part of my Thanksgiving Day needs and I have not cleaned and there are two turkeys as hard as bowling balls theoretically thawing in the refrigerator in the garage.
Let me just say that turkeys WILL NOT EVER, IN THIS LIFETIME, THAW IN A REFRIGERATOR and so I need to go get them out and find counter space somewhere so that on Thursday morning after the party while everyone else is still in bed, I will not frantically be trying to run hot water up a turkey's ass or down its gullet in order to free the giblets in their bloody white paper bag.
My foot hurts, I am overwhelmed to the point of paralysis, I wonder why when I call my mother to talk to her about Thanksgiving she says, "Am I invited?" when she has attended Thanksgiving at my house for approximately twenty-something years, I wish I could quit dreaming about trying to kill my stepfather, and I know why those rooms in my dream remain dream-rooms, waiting for me to enter them.
And yet, I know that in some ways, I have entered them many times. And for that I am grateful. Thankful.
I am thankful that I do not hate Thanksgiving the way I hate Christmas. I am thankful that I have such a beautiful house to clean and welcome friends and family to. I am thankful that there will be music ringing within it tomorrow night. Music played by people I have known and loved with all my heart and soul for over thirty years. I am grateful that it will be chilly and that people will go outside by the fire and eat oysters and drink beer and laugh.
I am grateful that we are so rich in so many ways that I don't even know how many people will be here tomorrow night or on Thursday, either one, but that there will be enough for all, no matter the numbers.
I am thankful that the Opera House lets me come sit on its stage and I am thankful that I have something inside of me that despite my fear, allows me (forces me?) to go onstage and open my mouth and let words come out and in this case, words that are literature and beautifully written.
I am grateful, I am thankful, of course- what a cliche!- that I have this family. We are all so different, so disparate, and yet so close. We love and accept each other as we are in all our shining ways, our faults, our needs, our gifts, our strengths, our weaknesses. We know that together we are something.
And we are beautiful.
I swear we are.
And I am so very thankful that we will all be together for the next few days, here in this house, and that the people we love the most, who are, if not blood-born kin, then love-born kin, will be here too.
And of course, there is this:
Owen. The fine, fat boy who has showered us all with such glitter and glue that we will never, ever be able to separate. None of us because he has knit our hearts together even tighter with stiches of finest silken love.
Look- you can think that all eggs are egg-shaped and are either white or brown. You can think that you know all the rooms in your house. You can think you can't do this or you don't have the courage to do that. You may think that there is no magic left on this blue and green planet. You may think that the turkeys will never thaw.
But you might be wrong.
You might look around and see there is magic everywhere if you let yourself see with your heart.
I'm talking to myself here. You realize that, right?
Because I don't think I'm shaped exactly right, not in any way. I feel my imperfections too much sometimes, I don't see them as what makes me special, what brings me my magic.
But if I let myself, I know I am wrong.
And for this, for ALL of this, I am so thankful.
And for you, too. Don't forget how thankful I am for you. I am so thankful because we, too, have become a sort of family here, sending words off to find their heart-targets on this planet. We may not sit down to eat together, but we sit down together, to pray, to laugh, to sing, to cry. We get nourishment from each other. We do.
So go on now, thaw your turkey. Make magic. Be in wonder. Open your mouth, let words out. Open your heart, let love out. Remember to be thankful for yourself and what it is you offer which no one else can.
I am.
Amen.
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I think your mother asks you that as a kindness. So you can have your own personal living dictionary definition of 'passive aggressive'. I have a sister who performs the same selfless act for me...
ReplyDeleteOh my dear friend, you brought tears to my eyes this gray Tuesday morning. And just for the record, I'm nervous as hell about doing Minnie. I so want her voice to be heard. She deserves it. And we'll have fun finding our voices, you and I. If I don't see you before, Happy Thanksgiving, and thanks for the Wednesday invite. See you Friday for sure. Jan
ReplyDeleteI'm flighty these days and I read this and went away and came back to comment... and my brain... but I sure like Jo's comment.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprisingly calm about Thanksgiving. My house is a mess and the two turkeys may or may not be thawed, but it will all come together in the end. And someone is bringing wine, so there's that to look forward to.
The key to thawing rock-hard turkey is simply this: forget you got it for $8 in an illness-induced frenzy, leave it in your car, and hope the temp gets above 30 degress. That is what I did, which is why we ended up cooking a 28 pound, $8 turkey the week BEFORE thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest? I just don't care anymore. Not for YOU, of course, but for me. Might save me a lot of heartache in the end.
Thank you for this beautiful poem for us your blog-family! I will take time to note the magic and speak and share the love I'm feeling.
ReplyDeleteWhen my parents first moved to Canada (from Wyoming), my Dad was a school teacher. The first day of classes, he came home and told my Mom "We have an invitation to Thanksgiving already!" She was amazed at the love and caring, not realizing how much closer to September 1st Thanksgiving is in Canada, compared to the American Thanksgiving.
That blessing of a dinner invitation to our family grew into a many decades long love and shared growing up with Joe & Delle and their children. I always have appreciated Thanksgiving because of their generous invitation.
Best to you and your kin this fine Thanksgiving week!
Mary
So... are we invited??
ReplyDeleteheheheh! GOTCHA!
I am sort of sick about missing it.. AGAIN this year. We are off to HoLando this evening to spend time with our fam there.
That author you speak of, is a funny bastard! A real stitch! I think you are going to love reading his words. Also, if it were me, I'd print it out using extremely large font! I hate trying to read things too small if i am reading aloud. You'll be great. We may have to come to that. Do you suppose I can work off my debt by serving supper? let me know.
As for those eggs. I think they ARE suppository eggs laid by Miss Betty, made especially for Sam's receptical!
We are so thankful for all of you Moon/Thigpens/Hartmans here at Chez Levi. We will miss you on TG, but will be thankful from Orlando. Oh, if there is any way possible, would you plllllease save me a spoonful of stuffin? I know it may not be possible, but I just love your stuffin!
xopf
I'm thankful I have a mama that will welcome in all my orphaned friends for our Thanksgiving Eve bacchanalia. (I promise, I'm only bringing Anna and Taylor and Togi and Mark. Unless KR comes down from Denver. Ha!) This is my favorite family party of the year!
ReplyDeleteJo- Every family needs one.
ReplyDeleteJan- We will have fun. And we will be nervous. Love you dearly.
Stephanie- WHAT MEDS ARE YOU ON? Send ASAP!
Kori- Well, at least you had turkey. Mine are sitting on the counter mocking me, harder than a man with a four-hour erection from Viagra.
Mary- And that is what it's all about.
Ms. Fleur- Of course you are invited. Always!
Have fun in HoLando. I love that!
DTG- Ah yes. We need to meet KR! And I love all your friends. They are my friends too. They are ALWAYS welcome and they know it. So sad for Mark though- no greens until Thursday.Can he come back for Thanksgiving?
I don't know, but I'll ask him! KR almost got a last second ticket down for tomorrow, but I believe finances may have nipped that.
ReplyDeleteI'll ask Mark about that!
The funny thing? I dont even especially like turkey; heh.
ReplyDeleteYour words amaze me, Ms. Moon. Thank you for reminding me that there are lots of things to be thankful for.
ReplyDeleteoh ms moon. you are so lovely. thank you for these reminders.
ReplyDeleteI wish we could all discover some wormhole to a lovely long table where we can all celebrate this thankfulness together and eat together, drink together and touch each other.
ReplyDeleteHow completely logical that you would not detest a feast of thanks. You are lovely and a medicine in my life.
x
DTG- Well, we shall meet him when we meet him.
ReplyDeleteKori- I like it. Especially stuffed with yummy dressing.
The Dish- I am reminding myself at the same time.
Learner- See above.
Mwa- Get to work on the wormhole idea because it sounds WONDERFUL TO ME! Thank-you, dear girl for your words.
That's a ton of groceries! I know I shouldn't be surprised, but it's always still damn amazing!
ReplyDeleteI, too, am so thankful for you and our colorful, beautiful family and friends. I'm thankful for way too many things, but the family is most definitely tops.
HoneyLuna- We are something, aren't we? Desperately in love with all of us. I could never have dreamed a family could be like that.
ReplyDeleteGod I love you. I love your words, your beauty, your humor. You make everything good, Mama. You have made this good family, we are your creation. I am so thankful for all of us and all of you.
ReplyDeleteOkay! Yes! And I am also thankful for Bless Our Hearts! So funny that there was a time not so long ago that this did not exist and we didn't know all these wonderful people! I love Mwa's idea, so sweet, to have us all at the table within hands reach.
It's me, one of those wonderful people May references ;) Ha! I am thankful for all of you, and Bless Our Hearts too. It's been a wonderful surprise to find, and I think of all of you often and consider you parts of my life. Isn't that funny? But I do.
ReplyDeleteThere has always been magic everywhere. And that is what I love about the world.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this grace from the Church of the Batshit Crazy. Really, your writing, your soul is just so damn beautiful and stunning.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
ReplyDeleteI will be instilling magic and love into the yummy pumpkin swirl cheesecake I will be baking tonight :-)
Just beautiful. I needed a pep talk today, so thanks.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
I give up many things to provide for the wonderfuls in my life. Please let today be the last time that I give you up. I need your boosts or "little handjobs along the way" as my eloquent ex-husband called them.
ReplyDelete