Thursday, June 16, 2016


I think that one of the reasons I dislike going to town for anything besides lunch, buying groceries or going to the library is that if I have shopping to do, I can never find what I want. This is no doubt a fault of my own but one has hopes, you know?
Futile hopes, as it turned out today.
I have a dress in mind that I could wear every night in Cuba. I found one on the Sundance catalog site which looks perfect, but they only have it in X-Large and someone commented that the dress ran very large in its sizing and so forget that.

I want simple. Black. Sleeveless. I can wear a little something over it if need be. Something cool. It's going to be very hot in Cuba. I sweat. A lot. One would think this would not be impossible to find and yet, I am finding it impossible to find.
Of course, the stores I went to may have been the problem. All the finest shoppes!
The local hippie place.

No luck. No luck at all.

I went to Barnes and Noble to find a travel book on Havana. Again- no luck. They had three Cuban travel guidebooks and although they were lovely and I am sure just chock full of information, I am only going to be in Havana. I suppose I should content myself with internet searches.
Or hell. Maybe I should just go and see what I am lead to see, but one does like to have a little basis for thought, shouldn't one?

One of the reasons I am not feeling as much anxiety about this trip as I could be is that I will HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ANYTHING. I am going to go where I am taken, sleep where I am told to sleep, eat where I am told to eat, shop where I am told to shop, be where I am supposed to be when I am supposed to be there. There will be some choices to make, I'm sure, but didn't I sign a document saying that I'd just do whatever my approved group leader told me to do?
I'm trying not to overthink this. I just want to be a good little traveler (I'd say tourist but the document I signed also made me state that I would NOT be thinking of this trip as a vacation and I would NOT be thinking of myself as a tourist) and do what I am supposed to do and hold Lis's lipstick for when she needs it. And be amazed.

And so it went in town, driving from one place to another. I spent so much time in traffic at red lights that I almost gave myself an entire manicure. I keep an emory board in the car for just that purpose. Why waste time?

So that was my day and I did buy myself a new journal because there will be very little internet access in Havana and so I will be writing down my adventures and impressions by hand in ink on paper. I am more excited about this than I probably should be.

Now it is time to make the supper. I am suspended in a place between there and here at this point but I do need to attend to the needs of the present, both in time and space. Life goes on and laundry needs doing and food needs to be cooked and eaten. I am doing a lot of disassociating and very often I find myself taking a deep, gulping breath as a wave of...excitement? nervousness? anxiety?...washes over me and I can feel my feet and hands go a bit numb. I am moving through a different ocean of feelings and so forth but I need to remember to be mindful of where I am at the moment. It does no good whatsoever to trip off into future trips.
Sweet potatoes are grounding. So are corn muffins with blueberries.

At least I hope they will be.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. A co-worker of mine just went to Cuba. He said plumbing was an issue, but he had a wonderful time. So maybe take some wet wipes. Also, maybe Old Navy will have what you're looking for. The food you make always sounds so tasty. I wish I could hire you to cook for my family. My kitchen is so tiny I just don't have the patience to cook elaborate food anymore.

    1. Oops, forgot to sign it! ~Sarah from Columbus

  2. That dress does look perfect. No, I don't think you'll find it in Goodwill, unless the goddesses are really smiling on you.

    It's very rare that they have what I want when I go shopping. It's so frustrating.

  3. Maybe you'll find that perfect dress in Havana? It sounds as if you are in a good *place* with your preparations..... I find I am excited myself- just knowing we'll be reading your journal!!
    Susan M

  4. I am so excited that you get to go to Cuba! I can't wait for you. And I'm so glad you said yes, even when your panic-brain said no.

    And also a little jealous that it will be hot, as I am wearing two pairs of socks and two sweatshirts right now and couldn't get into the garden because my fingers were so cold they wouldn't move. BUT--Cuba!


    This looks like a good dress. This company has good stuff. So does Zappos. Free shipping, free returns!

  6. I have no advice on dress shopping. But I agree it sounds wonderful to have NO CONTROL and just allow yourself to be carted around. "I am luggage," my brother says on trips where he has no agenda.

  7. If you have the time, this is a very recent travel report (ebook) from fellow blogger Jo about her trip to Cuba:

    Also, this from my most favourite ever woman traveller Dervla Murphy:

  8. So, I missed something? going to Cuba with your friend Lis as her roadie? groupie? and you had to sign a paper? to accompany her? Cuba should be wonderful. How long is the trip? I'm just full of questions today.

  9. Sarah- I've been reading about the less-than-pristine bathrooms and will DEFINITELY BE taking toilet paper and wet wipes. Ay-yi-yi!
    I am a decent cook. That is one thing I will admit to.

    Jo- Right? Damn!

    Susan M- It'll be quiet here for the days I'm gone but Lord, the material I'll have when I get back!

    Ramona Quimby- And I'm a little jealous of your cool temperatures. It's like a steam cabinet here. I swear. It's almost unbearable already. I can only imagine that Cuba is going to be worse. I'll be letting you know...

    Allison- Thank you! I'll check it out. I think I may not have enough time to get anything shipped at this point. Argghhhh!!!

    Steve Reed- And that shall be my mantra. Thank you.

    Sabine- Thank you, love! I'll check those out too!

    Ellen Abbott- Everyone going to Cuba (and yes, it would appear I'm going) has to sign such documents. I'll be arriving Havana next Thursday morning and returning on June 27. Monday. I think. I'm so kerfluffled I can't think.

  10. Oh I'm so happy you said yes. You will follow the Stones to Havana! Garnet Hill has a long, gauzy black dress for 78.00. Whatever you wear I wish you a wonderful adventure. Anon Suz


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