The procedure itself was, of course, painless. I went in and out of awareness. I remember hearing them say, "You're doing great." "Your blood pressure is great." "Almost done."
Meanwhile I was thinking things like, "I'm not doing a damn thing." And, "Of course my blood pressure is great. I'm almost unconscious here." And finally, "Thank God."
I remember seeing the dentist's hand shaking with effort. It didn't bother me, but I remember it.
Dental office spa treatments are not the best spa treatments you will ever get.
Offering someone a milkshake when they have just undergone two hours of oral surgery is ridiculous. Seriously. A milkshake?
We didn't even get to the moist towelette part. Thank-you. No.
Here's the funniest thing and the thing I keep turning over in my mind- they put an eye mask on me. Which is fine but I swear to you, I could see right through it. At one point, it had slipped up and one of the assistants pulled it back down and I thought, "Well, that's useless. I can still see everything."
Again, seeing everything (or at least being convinced I could see everything) didn't bother me. The Unibomber could have come in and threatened to blow the whole place up and it wouldn't have disturbed my peace of mind, my oneness with the Universe.
The drugs they gave me did not even begin to wear off until the next morning. All I could do was laugh at myself as I pinged from one wall to another like a pinball. It was hysterical. And I did not hurt myself and mostly stayed in bed going in and out of the most enjoyable sleep of my life. There is a certain sweetness to not having one damn thing in the world to worry about except pain control, which was no problem, and remembering to take my antibiotic. Mr. Moon made me the best dinner I have ever eaten and I'm not kidding you. He cooked me a chicken pot pie and I ate every bit of it, chewing slowly and carefully on my good side for what seemed like hours and then he made me a float of lime sherbet and grape juice and ginger ale.
I could happily have died, completely satisfied and still so very, very stoned.
But I didn't die. I went to bed and slept that sweet sleep again.
The boys got here at six a.m. yesterday morning and Mr. Moon took such good care of them. At one point, around nine or so, Owen came into my bedroom and said, "Mer. I want a carrot."
Boppy and Gibson were asleep in Mr. Moon's chair and so I got up and got Owen a carrot and went back to bed. Later on I got up and played a few games of cards with Owen and Boppy and I made the absolute worst dinner I've ever made in my entire life and I'm ashamed to tell you what it was and so I will not although when I told Lily and Jason about it, Lily laughed and Jason said, "That sounds awesome!"
I am hoping the healthy pancakes I made them for breakfast made up for the sins of the night before. At least a little.
And so it goes. It rained all day yesterday but the sun has been shining all day today. I've spent another chunk of time in bed, sleeping again and by now I'm starting to feel guilty. Which is stupid. Still- there you are. I am reading a book that I got at the library and quite frankly, I think it is marvelous. Could be all the drugs but I don't think so.
The boys have been gone for hours now. When Owen got up this morning, the first thing he said was, "Mommy and Daddy don't have to come too soon."
He still had things he wanted to do with his Boppy.
And Gibson? Well, as I told his parents, I'm fairly sure that he would happily take up residence in his grandfather's back pocket. Both boys are completely and utterly content here. But of course they were happy to see their mama and their daddy and went home cheerfully with them although right before they left, I found Owen sitting on the ground, his back to a pecan tree, and he was eating a candy cane his mother had brought him, just quietly and thoughtfully looking around, his legs crossed, and he reminded me of a skinny, four-year old Buddha, surveying his domain, content to be exactly where he was and not in a hurry to go anywhere else nor yet loathe to leave.
I guess that about sums it all up.
For this moment in this time. Me too.