Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Not Much

This day can't make up its mind. I woke up to chill and a sky that looked, if I still lived in Denver, to portend snow. It has warmed up and the sun has busted through it all for a few seconds at a time but now the sky is dirty cotton again and it is supposed to get so very cold tonight.

I stopped for a second and talked to another fellow walker this morning as we crossed paths. He has but one leg and yet he walks regularly into Lloyd from where he lives down the road a piece. We have a gentle banter we practice, we do not share much it would seem except that we both live here, we both walk and that is enough, plenty, to have a few words to say to each other.

The soaring of my spirits, the pulse of energy I have been feeling due to the cessation of the anxiety has faded somewhat today. I feel the beast trying to get its claws back into my back. Perhaps it is merely this dull dense sky. Perhaps it is only that.

There are things I need to do which I have been avoiding and although I know in my heart that it takes so much more energy to avoid, I choose quite illogically to do that. I have to get over this. I am going to be sixty years old this year. Will I be a prisoner of my own devices until I die?

Here is another thing I will be a prisoner of until I die, it would seem:
My pets.
Why? Why do they keep on living? I never take my animals to the vet unless there is injury. We do not medicate them, not even their vaccinations. We feed them whatever food is cheapest without actually being made of chicken feathers and pine needles. And yet (or because of this?) they live forever. A cat who lives outside whose age we cannot even comprehend. Two dogs who are at least fourteen, blind as bats, running into walls, still going, still living, endlessly scratching at the door to be let in, to be let out. Barking at nothing, stinking to high heaven.
They will not die.
Our boxer, Pearl, lived to be twice the age of the lifespan of the boxer breed.
No, I am not kidding you.


Good morning. Here's your fun fact of the day- the very first Swimsuit Edition for Sports Illustrated was shot fifty years ago on the then, almost unheard of and sparsely populated island of Cozumel in 1964. The model was Babette Beaty.

She became very close friends with the Rolling Stones.

She is now a painter.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Your pets thrive on neglect! Lol!!
    The sun is shining here today but they are forecasting more super cold weather. The wind is starting to pick up so who knows what that is going to bring.
    Dust off that Stones DVD and cheer yourself up!
    We should all be so lucky to get to be 60. Touch wood.

  2. I am curious if you adopted those dogs or they adopted you and did you like them when you got them? I had to put my 20 year old cat down late last year and it broke my heart - I loved him so, so much. I must say he started to do things that made it hard to want to be around him sometimes - i feel bad now because i did not know that they were signs that he was very sick. And i will say it would be hard to watch a blind dog walking into doors and barking at things unknown. Were these Mr Moon's dogs? Does he like them? Oh darn, I am beating around the bush here... Do you not like them because they are old? Sweet Jo

  3. heartinhand- I borrowed that DVD from the library and I have vowed not to go to town today! This weather is crazy. Well, I'm not to sixty yet. We shall see if I make it.

    Sweet Jo- I am sure that I wrote about these dogs at some point but basically, I was there when they were born. I adored their mother. Best dog I ever knew. And she got hit by a car not too long after the pups were born and so I wanted to keep them and WHAT FOOL I WAS because they are nothing like her at all. If I hadn't been at the birth, I would never believe they were hers. And honestly, I think I have spent so many years tending to children that pets, who can be so much like children (for both good and bad) are just too much for me. Does that make sense? I do very much understand why people love their animals. I love my chickens but I am happy for them to live outside and not need very much from me at all.

  4. Sweet Jo- Mr. Moon is not a whole lot more fond of them than I to be quite honest.

  5. One reason I don't currently have a pet is because I have a big problem with modern veterinary science. You can get sucked down the rabbit hole at the vet just as at the M.D's office.

    It seems you are very good for your pets. You must have lovely energy. Maybe anxiety helps you generate good vibes. An idea I've explored for myself.

  6. I completely understand. I got a 2nd cat about 12 or 13 years ago to keep my beloved cat company because I traveled so much and it was the right decision but I never really connected with him. I worried about what I would do when he was my only pet and he was so aggressive I knew I could not have another animal with him. Thank God in time he wiggled his way into my heart and some of his aggressiveness was due to a thyroid problem. I love him now but not in the same way as my first one. So I most definitely understand how hard it would be to lose the special mom dog and then to keep the pups and be disappointed to find that they were nothing like you expected. You are a saint to have kept them. Second, with 4 kids and 2 grand kids, I'd say you've done more than your share of nurturing so I get that too. I guess I missed the original post on all this. Thanks for taking the time to explain as I always wondered. Sweet Jo

  7. Babette! Where are you?! Read Mrs. Moon's blog! I feel certain that you'd love it.

  8. I like our dog all right but really, she is just one more thing for me to take care of. It snowed a bit here, maybe ten minutes, and then we saw the kind of blue sky we only see in Brevard if people are hoping it's going to snow. I hope your anxiety slinks back off and stays away.

  9. don't worry about that low level angst. it comes and goes. it always will. write it out and look it in the face and then let it be what it is. it will slink away soon enough. i love you.

  10. Oh god. We should write some dog lit together.

  11. Reya- I don't know. I think my pets just live forever to spite me.

    Sweet Jo- Some animals are just easier to love than others. This is the truth. And some people are more apt to love animals than others.
    I am no saint but sometimes I do feel as if I should get some sort of award for not kicking the crap out of one of my dogs as I stop whatever I am doing, get up and go let one of them in or out for the five thousandth time that day. Sometimes I do just yell, "NO!" which they ignore.

    Denise- Haha!

    Ms. Vesuvius- I can understand why people had dogs when they needed them to herd sheep and help hunt. These days? Remind me again why we have them?

    Angella- I love you too!

    Elizabeth- God. We'd probably be hunted down and prosecuted by PETA.

  12. Mary, did you read about the woman who heads PETA? She was an avid euthenasia-ist (??) putting down hundreds of animals a week - almost as if she liked doing it... dunno, I think she'd be ok with you putting your aged blind dogs down.

    Those bikini pants - my they have some coverage!

  13. Wow, can you imagine Cozumel in 1964? That's kind of mind-blowing.

  14. I love all the animals and have quite a few. I mourn when each one dies and have spent thousands of dollars on them. I wish that they lived longer. I realize that I love animals more than people.

    I know that you are good to your dogs. And in time, they will die. I remember how sad you were about Pearl. Hell, I was sad about Pearl.

    In the future, we won't have five cats and six dogs. But I cannot imagine life without a cat or a dog.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.