Wednesday, January 29, 2014

And This Is Where All You People From Canada And Michigan Can Laugh Real Loud

I swear. You want a health care provider who accepts the idea of some alternative forms of treatment, right? I mean, I do. And mine does. Perhaps to a degree that, well...
Okay. When I start talking about anxiety, she starts talking about supplements and electrical devices and, and, and...I don't know. I mean, sure, things like that might help.
But when the best two days of your past month have been the day you got oral surgery and the day following it, I just don't think that something I hook up to my earlobes to send an electric current through them is  going to cut it. I could be wrong. I surely could be.
But you know, it was okay. I got my basic exam which is not much and boy, do I need to lose weight! although she didn't say anything about that and my slips of paper to go get the mammogram and the blood work and she likes the lipid panels where they explore all different sorts of profiles instead of just the regular ones so that's good and I've already made my appointment for the mammogram and I MADE AN APPOINTMENT WITH A RETIRED PHYSICIAN WHO DOES ACUPUNCTURE AND HYPNOSIS! At the same time.
I am not kidding you.
And I asked for some anti-anxiety medication and she consulted with her back-up doc who is pretty darn alternative himself and they gave me...wait for it...a 'script for ten Valium!
Hey! Valium are cheap. Or at least the generic version of them. The ten of them cost me $1.43.
Do people even still take Valium? I guess we're fixing to find out.
Anyway, I feel pretty good and in no need to take anything at the moment, although I'm exhausted. The moral fiberous energy it took to walk in that office just about drained me. And then I went and had some documents scanned and sent and more on that later. And I ran by Fanny's to give Taylor a birthday card because it's her birthday and I love her and I also took her and May both little flowering plants from the Publix which will die but before they do, they'll be pretty. May is still sick and I should have taken her Sudafed but I didn't. I doubt the plant is going to help her very much but it won't hurt her either.

Okay. So finally we got some ice stuff falling from the sky here. Every one in the blog world and on Facebook from Tallahassee is posting pictures like this

because we are so fucking amazed that ICE STUFF is falling from the sky.
So of course I had to as well. Just out of curiosity- is this what you call sleet?

Lily took the boys outside to play in it. She probably told them it was snow. She said they liked it for a few minutes and then that was enough and they wanted to go inside.
Gibson is going through a deviled egg stage. I got a text from Lily today that said, "Just had to make Gibson deviled eggs in like 5 seconds because he was screaming eggy and throwing himself on the ground."
He ate three halves of deviled eggs when we were at Fanny's yesterday. He would eaten fifty if we'd given them to him. The boys are coming over tomorrow morning and I've already boiled some eggs to make the child eggy. He did not want me to leave when I dropped by there for a short visit this afternoon.
"Mer-Mer!" he screamed, holding his hands out towards me. He was just tired. Owen barely looked at me. He had a friend over and he was too busy playing. I demanded a hug and he gave me one but I'm not sure his heart was in it. Oh well.

So it didn't turn out to be the worst day of my life. Not by a long shot. And I'm sure that my NP would prescribe me an antidepressant if I asked her for one. I'm just thinking/hoping that this run of anxiety is going to run its course like a bad case of the measles and I know I've had some good days in it and now I have a little back-up panic medication which is, in and of itself, a calming thing. Once I get this blood work and mammogram over with, I think I'll be okay.

All right. Time to make the supper. Chickens are up, all of the water spigots are dripping because it's supposed to get down to 22 degrees tonight. Speaking of chickens, they do not like the cold ground on their bare feet. They were all high-steppin' it today. Here's a picture of Elvis. Just because. Isn't he a handsome thing?

I think so.

I have one more thing to say- I want to sincerely and truly and really tell all of you who have commented with your own stories of doctor and dentist fears, of anxiety and depression and the difficulty in getting through the most mundane of situations and days sometimes- I love you. You have made me feel so much less alone. You have given me hope and reminded me that I am probably not dying, just experiencing something which is so very human and which so very many humans experience.

Dang! I love you!

Ms. Moon


  1. We love you too!! Well, I do, anyway :)

    I'm glad it was a good day! I soo miss your May. I hope she feels better soon AND that you get those appointments done and overwith. You WILL feel better. I'm so so glad you went today.

  2. Oh you are so not alone with anxiety. My teeth are so sensitive, I have to get bubblegum tooth polish instead of the mint at cleaning because the mint hurts. Do you think I am just a pulsing blog of protoplasm waiting for it to hurt? Why yes, yes I am. I applaud your willingness to move forward with maintenance.

  3. This is just a satisfying post all around. I'm happy that you went to the doctor for that check-up -- you've inspired me to do the same. And I hope you won't need that Valium, and I hope the sun shines soon in your parts and that this crazy weather subsides.

  4. I am happy your appointment went well. Sometimes just knowing the valium are available is enough to get you through.

    Oh and Allison I thought I was the only adult to get the bubblegum polish. Gail

  5. SJ- I thought of you a lot today. I felt you with me, girl. I'll tell May you're thinking of her.

    Allison- I am trying. Don't praise me. It's been years since I've done this. But thank you. The bubblegum toothpaste? I didn't know that was an option.

    Elizabeth- It's supposed to be in the seventies this weekend. I think we'll survive. Thank you, dear woman.

    Gail- It is a comfort, just knowing it's there.

  6. I have not weighed in but I have been thinking about you. We have a dentist here who specializes in folks who'd rather nailgun themselves in the head than go to the dentist. Valium is involved: some the night before the appointment, and a bit the morning of, and it's a godsend for those who need it. Nope, you're not alone. Good luck staying warm. It's <20 here on a regular basis. (CT.)

  7. There is nothing more fun than reading your posts. And yes, Elvis is handsome. And hmmm, I'm not sure about that Valium but you know I'm all superprotective of all of my friends and nerdy when it comes to any and all medical things. And somebody might mug you in Atlanta if they know you have them in your purse. Ha.

    The ice photos are hilarious because I'm sure the Canadians are LOL-ing. Biggest hugs ever.

  8. You live in Florida for a reason and one of those reasons is NOT having to deal with that white crap and the cold. It is like when it gets really hot here. I hate the heat. I prefer a mild day. So no laughing from this Canadian.

  9. 1 down and 2 to go. You are so not alone with anxiety Ms Moon. You help scores of others by openly talking about yours. You were brave today to go in there and get yourself checked out and tell them about your pain and get help and you did not rush home and pop the valium right away which shows that you're not going to use them every time you feel a twinge. I personally think it's fine to know there is relief in the background should you need it. And if it's a continuing problem, you'll know you need something more permanent. Your chickens are so cool and I am glad it will warm up for you this weekend. I wish you a night of peace dear lady. Sweet Jo

  10. i completely understand the level of 'moral fibrous energy' it takes to walk in that office- it's the same for me. xo

  11. Oh, I love you too! Your photos of "snow" made me laugh out loud, thank you so much. We have had 48" this winter, and our snow blower broke and we've been getting stuck in the driveway! And I have this little trail from the front door that is no wider than the welcome mat, piled so high with the snow, relentless snow and wind and cold that Will Not Stop. We don't have snow days this year, just dangerous cold days, -11 before the windchill. There, do you feel better about your weather? I hope so, but I also know that it is not supposed to snow in Florida, and it is not supposed to be warmer in Alaska and the North Pole than here and everything is so off kilter and so am I.
    Also, Elvis is magnificent.
    So glad you went to the doctor, you are brave. I'm trying hard to remember what Valium felt like, it was too long ago. Ativan and Xanax are the go-to drugs these days, Clonopin if you're really in a bad way. I prefer the short term fix over the long term ssri's, I'm not sure they've done the legwork to match the drug to the brain chemistry, or even have a clue what works. But try believing whatever you're taking is helping and it will, I believe in that.
    I hope things warm up for you soon. We're used to this crap, you should not have to be.
    And you're such a good mom, grandma and friend. You really are. xo

  12. Maybe just HAVING the Valium will help -- even if you don't take it. It might be calming just to know it's around! I guess we'll see.

    That is definitely some Florida snow. LOL!

    And yes, Elvis is a dramatically handsome bird.

  13. So now I want to have chickens, or at least my own Elvis but I suppose he would have to have some female company.

    The thing about acupuncture in my humble experience is to not expect a miracle. I have seen quite dramatic and convincing (mostly pain) relief in others but not me. What I loved was the way it's done, the calm room, the nice voice, the background music, the reassuring attitude and and and. All that made me feel better. And I think I went back for more because of that and none of the original hopes and dreams I had. I hope it will work in this particular way for you too.

    And, sorry no, this is not snow, just some itsy bit of white frozen stuff that lost its way.

    In fact, there is no need for snow at all. It is simply a mistake of the cosmos.

  14. Love you too. Now make me eggy!

    I would call that hail. It's dry-ish. Sleet is wet and mushy and freezy and miserable. Usually comes driven on the wind. At least with hail you can pretend it's snow :)

  15. I'm glad the Dr's visit went well and that it is over with for you! The acupuncture/hypnosis Dr sounds interesting!

    I don't think you got sleet - sleet is wetter. Looks like plain ole' freezing rain or just snow. That's my Minnesota observation at least.

  16. Sleet is mean, but it can be pretty.

    Valium will relax your muscles. Sometimes that's enough to affect the mind. I hope they work for you. Have you seen the book by that guy (name slips my mind) who have suffered from acute anxiety all his life? I'm chronically anxious, but nothing like that.

    I'm looking for a health care plan that pays for my acupuncturist, therapeutic massage, psychotherapy and dentistry. Yeah, I know. I know. That that is my health care.

  17. I am a huge fan of acupunture! It did wonderful things for me,at one point I had a head cold. When I told him he gave me a few extra needles and 5 herb pills and gone the next day. It also can do amazing things for your head space. Wonderful medicine go for it. Ah the snow up this way we had gridlock because of it.It lasted 2 whole days which in these parts is rare.(tuscaloosa)Be kind to your self and have a lovely day.

  18. It was sleet here and it's still here. The big bridge is shut down after two days.

    I started taking Clonopin years ago--very small dosage--for anxiety when we were going through a major rough patch before each of us began to go to our respective recovery programs. I know that depression runs in my family so I have kept it up. It smoothes things out for me. And it is not one that I will discontinue because of that. I believe in taking medication if it helps ease things.

  19. Love back at you, Mrs. Moon.
    Of all the valium and zanax and stuff that I've taken, Cymbalta which I took for depression made my joints feel fabulous. Nothing hurt. There are weird side effects like feeling faint if I bent over for more than 1 second. I suffered from anxiety then too, and it helped a bit there, too. It especially stopped obsessive negative thoughts where I kept thinking something bad was going to happen. But you have to figure out if you should take it in the morning or at night...because it can make you wakeful or sleepy. Brain chemistry! Gah! I am wishing you the best of luck.


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