You know that ain't gonna happen.
Here's what did happen:
So I went to the dentist and the sweet, sweet little child who is the extremely competent dental assistant angel looked in my mouth and assured me that what I was seeing was not grody grossness but a membrane thing that the doctor put in there and it was all growing back together and it was fine and maybe a little irritated and how many times a day was I doing the salt water rinse? Okay, maybe I was over-doing it. Just a little.
Hey! I'm trying to be an A-student here. I want to win the award for healing, right?
Anyway, I was so damn relieved I had to hug the little fairy-child who wields the dental picks and mirrors and maybe I want to bring her home and adopt her but she appears to be married to someone who bought her a ring with a stone the size of Mr. Rushmore's biggest president's head and she says she has a three-year old so probably not.
I rushed over to Lily's and picked up my grandsons who were full of energy and love and joy and devilment and I drove them here and we played in the bamboo jungle and look! Look what I found! The second Miracle of The Day!
The first little white violet and I almost fell over from the shock of it.
So yes, we played in the bamboo jungle and I had make-up applied again ("My name is Jeffrey," said Owen as he distributed teal eyeshadow all over my face) and then it was all like, "Let's listen to the Rolling Stones, now watch me run!" and "Let's play the matching game!" and "Let's have a tea party!" and "I'm so hungry!" and "I need juice!" and while all this was going on the dog kept leaving me little puddles of vomit and Gibson learned a new word today which was "puke" and we're lucky it wasn't "Oh Fuck!" That's two words. Whatthefuckever. And water was being spilled and juice, of course, and Owen got his shirt wet and Gibson got dog shit on his Elmo shoes and, well...
So yes, I am tired. Between the Anxiety Red Level Alert which was cut like an electric line when a tree falls on it, the walk I took this morning to try and control the anxiety, the boys, the laundry, the puke, the sweeping, the...oh fuck. You know.
Hell, I am old.
I am so old.
And I am so tired.
Now it's time to cook dinner and clean up the detritus and I know for sure there's another puddle of puke in there because I just saw it a minute ago. Mr. Moon is in the deer stand down the road and he'll be back and oh, how I just want to lay down and rest but no, not yet.
Those new sheets may suck but I'm going to sleep like a beast on them tonight. And it's going to get down to 27 degrees or some obscene number and it's going to be cold for days. No polar vortex this time, just winter but dammit, I saw that violet, it's standing there in the side yard, the bravest little violet in the neighborhood, and before you know it, it'll be time to kick the bamboo again.
Until then, stay warm and let's all get some rest.
And hey- twice a day on the salt water rinse is plenty.