Ms. Rachel had never been to the Wacissa and Hank hadn't been swimming all summer so we made a pilgrimage to the river this morning and it was one of my favorite trips there ever. I'm not sure why but everyone was just so sweet and chill and the children were well-behaved and loving and happy and Rachel brought her best friend and I'd never met her and she was darling and no yellow flies bit me and there weren't gangs of teens and no one was playing music for the benefit of all and it wasn't too hot and well, it was delightful.
Look at that water. Look at that precious baby girl.
Gibson! Looking for fish. Lily took those two pictures.
Just pretty. Owen, Rachel, and Hank.
Levon getting suited up. He loved it!
Rachel took this one. My skinny boy, stretched out in the sun like a starfish, warming up. He shivers in that cold water but he doesn't seem to care.
The river truly had its way with me today. I had woken up the way I've been waking up lately which is in a state of what I can only really describe as despair. There are elements of both anxiety and depression in it but it's got a different flavor to it and I feel as if there is nothing to look forward to except for more pain and future illness and the absolute certainty of death.
It doesn't feel good.
But after I'd been at the river for a few hours I felt calm and I felt very present and I felt no need to future-fear or to look back in regret. It was wonderful but I knew I had to get home and get dressed and go to town to run a few errands.
I didn't mention this but a few days ago my wireless headphones sort of fell apart and I really can't function without my books being read into my ears at all times. Mr. Moon had returned them to Costco where I'd bought them and they gladly gave him back full payment but they had no more like the ones I'd bought for exchange purposes to I had to go to Best Buy and I needed to go to Publix too.
The lady who helped me at Best Buy was just absolutely terrific and I picked out another set of blue tooth headphones and felt so cheerful. My river mood was still upon me and even when I went into the library to drop off some books and get a few more and it began to squall like a hurricane and I got soaked getting to my car I did not lose my lotus flower (as Lis might say) and Publix was fine and I got home only to discover that
(A) The left earbud on my brand new, out of the box headphones has no volume at all and,
(B) Publix had sent me home with two prescriptions for someone whose name is rather remarkably like mine but is not mine.
This has served to dampen my spirits somewhat I will admit as this all adds up to yet another trip to town.
Well, life goes on even with first world problems which don't amount to a hill of beans and speaking of beans, this cheered me considerably:
My first picking of the black-eyed peas. I shelled one for you so that you can see the green goodness of a fresh, out of the pod, black-eyed pea.
Oh, y'all. That's good stuff, right there.
The okra are getting tall but have not yet put out their hibiscus-like flowers, I'm still getting eggplant, I will definitely not be making cucumber pickles this year, and I'm not expecting much more squash and I never have gotten enough tomatoes to talk about.
Anything I get from the garden is pure goodness and I am grateful for it.
Before I sign off, let me just mention Trailer Park Boys again. It's a Canadian mockumentary which has become popular all over the world and for good reason. Mr. Moon and I have been watching an episode or two every night for what now seems most of our lives and I have decided that this show is absolute genius. Its themes and story lines are ridiculously simple and there's more profanity in it than anything you've probably ever seen before and yeah, it's sort of sexist and probably every other sort of "-ist", and the weed and alcohol use are through the roof and also, there is crime and no obviously redeeming qualities anywhere and oh my god. At this point, I can hardly imagine life without my Ricky, Bubbles, and Julian.
We're on Season 10 wherein Snoop Dogg gets involved and as you may know, I adore Snoop Dogg which only makes everything even more bizarre and incredible and well, watch it or don't. It's not for everyone.
I see and hear that Mr. Moon has gotten the mower going which is good because the grass is so long that the chickens are getting lost in it. I need to start supper, as usual.
Be well, y'all. Go find a river. Get in it and cool off, get out and eat some snacks, get back in the water and cool off again, repeat as necessary until a feeling of well-being overwhelms you and you can face the world once more.
I may need to move to the river but that's a story for another day and in the meantime, I'll just keep visiting it and taking my meds.