I cannot stop thinking about Pulse, about the people who died, the people who love them. I think about how, for so many in the Queer community, this is one of the greatest fears. And it happened. In what would be thought of as a safe place. Not just their greatest fear, but their mother's, their sister's.
I think about how many times I have read and heard homosexuality referred to as an abomination, an aberration. I feel very strongly that this, that Omar Mateen and those of his ilk (the ones who walk out armed with guns and a heart full of hate, ready to play God) is the abomination, the aberration. Not love. Not love.
Because isn't that the very basis of Queer rights? The freedom to love who you love and not be harmed? The freedom to be who in your heart you know yourself to be, and to love yourself? Without fearing recrimination, prosecution, or death. To love and be loved. To be human beings. That is Truth, that is Right, that is Good.
It's so simple and yet so hard for some people to really get it, and it breaks my fucking heart.
I believe that, no matter who or what wants to claim Mateen as their own, he acted alone and without guidance. He was one crazy individual, like all the ones who walk into churches, schools, movie theaters and open fire. This isn't an organized enemy we can build walls against, or wage war against, this is an aberration. A cancer within ourselves.
Things do need to change. We have made some progress against hate, but it is not enough. People keep murdering, and thinking they are righteous, but they are not righteous. They are crazy and they are angry.
I'm going to wrap this up, because this is not a rant or a speech and I have no answers at all. I am only writing because I am shaken and I am angry and I am so very very sad.
Hold your loved ones to you, tell them that you love them. Most of all, look out for the lonely ones, and I mean that in all the ways I can.