Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Distraction, Delusion, Denial, Deception, Despair

So, Donald Trump pays no income tax, doesn't have nearly as much money as he says he does, and his entire "university" was a farce to fleece people out of money they didn't have.
Of course we also know he's a misogynist, a racist, a liar, and hasn't got the slightest clue as to how to run a country.
And here's the really sad part- his followers don't care a bit. He's gamed the system! He's cheated and lied his way to the top, he says whatever he wants to say and doesn't give a shit, he's cruel and obviously not that smart and he's the big Big Daddy who says, "Because I say so! Now go to bed!"

Finally! A candidate people can relate to!
That would be racist, not very smart, fearful, misogynistic people who don't want to actually think about things like international relations, the death of our planet, the rights of others, diplomacy, economics, or actually, anything that might tax the brain the tiniest bit.
He's going to make America GREAT again.
Or, as my friend Togi said, "He's going to make America white again."

Okay. That's what I think.

It makes me so sad and so angry and so despairing.

Here's another thing I'm thinking about- all of the media attention and fierce debate and word slinging about the incident with the gorilla who was shot when a boy fell into its enclosure.
I'm not going to give an opinion on that. I frankly don't know enough to comment. But I find it deeply disturbing that we are all focusing on that while almost 900 migrants and refugees drowned in the Mediterranean Sea last week, a headline that swiftly fell off the map while the gorilla incident still rages.

We humans can only wrap our heads around so much and it's so much easier to sign a petition or hurl some opinions about a gorilla who was shot while trying to either kill or protect a human child than trying to understand why people are risking their lives to escape violence and save their families and dying in the attempt.

We are all guilty of focusing on things that distract us from painful realities.
I am as guilty of that as anyone on so many levels.

Well, perhaps all of life is a series of things we do to distract ourselves from the very fact that one day we'll die. I do not know. I do know that I may have scarred Gibson for life yesterday. He was snuggled up in my lap and Owen and I were discussing my parents and I said that my father was dead.
"He's deaded?" asked Gibson.
"Yes," I said.
"What deaded him?"
"He got deaded from being very old." (Partially true, not really but hey! Gibson's four.)
"I gonna get old?" he asked me, his eyes wide with the sudden knowledge that this could happen.
"Yes, baby," I said. "But not for a long time."
"I going to get deaded?"
Oh Lord. Where is this child's mother?
"We all die, baby. It's okay. You won't get old or die for a very, very long time."
I am not certain he was reassured at all, although I held him to me and kissed his head.

And so it goes. One moment, one day, we face that truth and then we face the truth that those we love will also die.

But don't worry about it. Because I said so. Go to bed!

I believe I will go take a walk now. I hope it doesn't dead me.

Love...Ms. Moon




13 comments:

  1. I remember vividly the moment I understood that I was going to die. It's not a happy moment, but I guess we all need to have it!

    As for Trump, I may be burying my head in the sand, but I continue to believe he cannot win -- unless reasonable people just sit out this election, in which case, all bets are off. I agree that the thought that ANYONE supports him is enough to bring despair. (What's interesting is, I have lots of conservative friends on Facebook -- but none of them are posting pro-Trump stuff. Either they're supporting him covertly or they've bailed on him, and either way, it doesn't bode well for the Republicans.)

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  2. There was an article in the Washington Post( yesterday?) in which it was stated with no equivocation that there will be a third party candidate ticket and that candidate will be a verbs solid one that conservatives can get behind. I don't know how this will affect Hillary Clinton's chances but I do think it will preclude a Trump presidency if it happens. As long as it's not Ted Cruz, who I dislike as much as Trump. I am at the point where most of the other GOP field would make me go ho-hum, as long as they're not Trump or Cruz.

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  3. I remember the moment I learned that my life was finite but the universe was not. I was too young too, but what I also remember is that I curled up next to my Dad and watched some nature shows and I felt safe and sound. You did that for Gibson too, so not to worry.

    Trump - him I worry about, and the unfathomable populace that wants to vote him into office. That Murica scares the shit out of me.

    I worry about lots of things deading me too, and nothing like a walk keeps those thoughts at bay. Hope yours was a good one.

    xo

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  4. oh god Mary. I've tried to write several posts about Trump and the political and social climate here and I just can't face it. I've got another attempt going right now but keep distracting myself with my work and impending trip. I am saddened for this country and horrified that so many people actually support that man. he is a liar and a cheat and he attacks in the nastiest way possible anyone who points out his lies. I've said many times that this country doesn't need any enemies from without because this country is doing a fine job of self-destruction. I can't even imagine Trump's finger on the red button.

    I don't remember when I learned about death. I have a vague memory of being scared, frightened? I don't know. death is a fact that children, once they learn of it, quickly file it away when they don't die in the next day or so I think. I, on the other hand, contemplate it quite a lot at this point in my life.

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  5. Let's hope Trump gets deaded before any of the rest of us. That's all I have to say on either subject. Poor lil Gibson!

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  6. Dear little Gibson will let go of that soon because he is sooo very distracted with all the love and joy that surrounds him - as he should be.

    The whole thing with the gorilla ? We've done this so many times. We live in a culture that has only developed it's self to an early teenage mentality. I think this will go on for a very, very long time. The only thing that could move it forward quicker would be a catastrophic occurrence. God forbid. I know that sounds terrible - but that's what I think.

    Trump, he won't win but he sure has given this country a wake up call - right smack in the face.

    I've been trying to make my comments shorter..I have not succeeded today :)

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  7. PS: I didn't really realize - truly, truly - that I was really, truly, truly going to die until my mother died last year. Now I am all too aware of it.
    Talk about arrested development !

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  8. Oh Gibson! Children bring us down to earth really fast some times.

    Look around, there are demagogues spitting venom in almost every western country and we may be in for a dark couple of years. Could be a wake up call eventually.

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  9. Both Owen and Gibson are such deep thinkers. He is surrounded by people that love him and can talk to him. That is all any of us need when facing the knowledge dying.

    All I can say is I really, really hope Trump doesn't get it. But if he doesn't, what is stopping him from running again? Even living here in Canada it is scary to think about.

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  10. "Oh Lord. Where is this child's mother?" That made me giggle. Sweet little boy. At least he was in the midst of a MerMer hug when he learned about getting deaded.

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  11. I love the comment that you needed Gibson's mother. I remember that conversation so well with my own boys -- even down to the "deaded" word. I think you explained things beautifully. I'm up late tonight because one of my now teenaged boys wanted to discuss heavy subjects at 2:00 in the morning. There were tears and hugs and perhaps I helped him, but I sure can't go back to sleep. When does it end, Mary? I guess never. Or at least until I'm deaded.

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  12. Steve Reed- I don't remember the exact moment I realized that I would die. But it seems to me that I have always known it.
    As to Trump- I cannot begin to believe he has made it this far. It breaks my heart because I had more trust in the citizens of this country than they obviously deserve.

    Angella- When we were talking to that couple in Apalachicola, the guy said, "I could deal with a Rubio or a Cruz."
    I said, "I couldn't."
    He shut the fuck up for a moment.
    May that article be prescient.

    Mel- I am glad your daddy was there to make you feel safe.
    We all need a daddy right now to make us feel safe. I wish we had one.

    Ellen Abbott- Sometimes I try to comfort myself by remembering that things swing this way and then that and a balance is eventually found. It doesn't help much. This country is quite possibly TOO diverse for any sort of balance. I don't know.
    I think about death a lot too but that idea doesn't bother me as much as illness and suffering. Mine and my husband's. I am a coward about such things. Truly.

    Jo- Well, although I wouldn't come right out and say that...

    Liv- Do any of us ever really believe that we ourselves will die?
    I am not sure about that.
    As to Trump- I hope you are right about the outcome of the election. I really do.

    Sabine- I agree with you on all points.

    Birdie- I can't begin to understand how politics work, much less the mind of a child. I think that Trump is the sort of guy who, if he loses at something, he does not try to replicate the situation. He would not want to be reminded. I am hoping for that, at least.

    Jill- Yes. This is true. I was hugging him up.

    Elizabeth- You know how so many of the old tombstones say, "Rest in peace"? I hope for that. I truly do. When I am deaded I just don't want to have to worry about any of it anymore. Until then though- you are right. It does not end.

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  13. Ohhhh, that little boy - so much awareness at such a young age. You did well, Mary.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.