Thursday, October 9, 2014

Back Up To Speed: The Speed Of A Stoned Tortoise, That Is

One of the last things I truly remember from yesterday was sitting in the dentist's chair and being handed a little ketchup cup thing with about four pills in it. Five? The nurse told me what they were and all I can remember is "Valium" and "Xanax" and after that, not much although I do remember being told, "You're doing great, almost over," and me thinking, "Hey, I'm not doing a thing here, the important question is- how are YOU doing?" and realizing that shit- this was starting to hurt.
Which I told them and then there came the big silver hypo of Novocaine, I guess, although it could have been liquified Eye of Newt for all I knew.

Then, done, unrobe me from my paper coverings, ask me if I want a milkshake.
No thank-you and my husband was there and he gave me a cup of coffee because he knows me and I love him. Back in the car, stopped at Publix so my husband could get my drugs and chicken pot pies and coffee ice cream. I stayed in the car and slept. When we got home, I undressed, went straight to bed and slept until he woke me up and told me supper was ready.
Can I just say that was the second best supper I ever ate, the first being the chicken pot pie he made me after the tooth was originally extracted?
Dear god. Nothing ever tastes better to me in my life.

I tried to stay up for awhile. I tried to knit, I believe. Lord knows what a tangle that must be. Gave it up. Went to bed. I carefully placed another pain pill beside the bed in case I woke up and needed it. Woke up at three, needed it but thought I'd already taken it. Got up and took Ibuprofen. Went back to sleep. Woke up when Glen kissed me good-bye and asked if I needed him to stay home to take care of me. I kissed him back and told him I'd be fine.

Found the pain pill. Put it back in the bottle.

It's a beautiful day. Unless I'm hallucinating.

My jaw hurts a little but it's not bad.

I just went out to fill up the birdbath. It took me five minutes to find the end of the hose.

I think I'll go lay down now.

I wish I had another pot pie.

It's John Lennon's birthday. I wish he was here. I'd make him a cake, even if it took all day and half the night.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Good morning! I'm so glad you're okay. I feel a little drugged myself and am about to go to bed.

  2. yay for good drugs. glad you are recovering.

  3. This is my kind of dentistry.
    Completely unconscious and delicious food upon awakening.

  4. You're so cute when you're stoned! Glad you're OK.


  5. Rest and hydrate. Or don't hydrate because it will make you pee.

  6. Is it weird that I want to cook a turkey and a cake and celebrate my lord and savior Mr. John Lennon? In nine days, I will go to where he died and I will send a wish to the universe for you.

    Drug fogs are the best and worst of times. Here's hoping you stay pain free and it continues to go smoothly!

  7. Yes, yeah for drugs. Glad you're feeling ok.

  8. After my hysterectomy many years ago, I was put on a morphine pump. Never having had one before, I pushed the little button every ten minutes just like the nice nurse told me to. About 10 pm that night (my surgery was at 7:30 am) I woke up and started crying. My dear man was there, of course, asking what he could do for me. I was so upset because nobody had been up to see me. Dear Man said the room had been full of family all day and evening. Drug-induced fog is a curious thing! As for dental work, my wonderful dentist orders me two Xanax before an appointment for ANYTHING (one for the night before and one for the day of). I'd rather have 1000 gyno exams than one dental visit!

  9. Glad the procedure is over and you're probably already feeling better as I write this.

  10. Your dentist is amazing and deserves an award (do dentists get awards?) for making patients feel comfortable.

  11. You're a brave, drugged lady and I hope your pain keeps ebbing and all stays well xx

  12. I wish I lived near your dentist.

  13. Bake a cake for John Lennon! Fog or not, your sweetness comes through! Here's to a speedy, blissful recovery.

  14. Glad you made it through. Take it easy this week and heal up nicely. x0 N2

  15. Reading this post is a little like talking to a stoned person, but I might be projecting. I'm glad you're on the mend and the pain isn't too bad. :)


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