Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Dentist visit led to Periodontal Surgeon visit. Not good. Abscess in the bone. I'm on antibiotics and will be for ten days and then we'll see if it's worth trying to save the tooth.

I can't talk about it.

I tried to explain to the surgeon how anxious I become in doctors' offices. He tried to be sympathetic but I could tell he had no idea of the extent of what I was feeling. I felt strongly that he wanted me to just cowgirl up, cupcake. This ain't the end of the world.

I can't believe I'm back in this crazy place. And it has nothing to do with my tooth although that situation certainly doesn't make it any better.

Well, Happy New Year.

The boys are here and I have to, actually, in fact and seriously, cowgirl up, cupcake.
Boppy's here so all will be well.

Despite everything, I am not too crazy to know what a big part of my life you have all been this year, and some of you for many years.

Thank you.
And I desperately want everything to be well for us all.
Actually, in fact, and seriously.



  1. Bless YOUR heart Ms. Moon, you dear sweet woman. Thank you for being a part of my life.


    As for the dentist, one word. Ativan.

  2. mary teeth are such a big fucking deal and so god awful expensive and they can send torrents of pain into your entire body. the antibiotics will take the pain rather quickly. that's the first step. be grateful for ins. i was never taken to the dentist as a child. i too hate them hate hate hate them oh honey. ps WV covered hahahahahaa I sure hope you are!

  3. Take care of yourself, Ms. Moon! Take a big shot of something warm before you start the antibiotics =)
    I wish you well tonight! Blow some shit up, that should make anyone feel better, right?
    Happy New Year. xoxo

  4. Love to you, always. And I'm bitter that you're having to end your weird year with a bone abscess and the black dog of depression panting and hanging out. Fuck them both.

  5. So much has been stirred up for you this year. Possibly there is no such thing as closure. But I wish you peace in spite of it. Holding you close. Sit on a couch with a glass if something and just let boppy entertain the boys. 2014 will be better. I think it will.

  6. i hope the tooth thing goes well- will they sedate you totally?

    thinking of you-


  7. Oh my soul. Oh, Ms. Moon. I feel you about this dental crisis.

    Honestly, I think this post right here is making me quit sooner and return to the U.S. within the month. Because it's this that I want to avoid.

    I wish all the best. As always.

  8. Oh, dear. Teeth and dentists....anxiety just to hear of it. May you feel better and soon! Love to you and thank you for sharing your REAL life and thoughts every day. You are a special blessing in my life every day. Happy New Year ! Out with the clouds......IN with sun and happiness

  9. So sorry you are having this trouble. The antibiotics will help soon. Sure hope you are on the edge of a much better year. Sending you positive thoughts!

    Georgie J.

  10. Oh man, Mary. That's scary as hell.

  11. I have horrible dentist anxiety too. I am sorry you are going through this.

  12. You mean a lot to me too. I think that you are a kindred seeker. I learn from you on your journey. Hope that you feel better tomorrow. Boppy will take care of things.

  13. Oh I am sorry to hear about your dental problems. Hopefully the antibiotics will settle it down, and the rest of it won't be horrible. I'm wishing you a way better 2014. Actually, I'm wishing that for us both.

  14. Happy New Year to you and yours and this is to let you know that you (and Elizabeth) help keep me sane on a daily basis. Today in the movie theater I actually pictured the two of you accompanying me (we saw Philomena, in which Judi Dench was good but I felt the story was lacking.)

  15. Stupid effing dental tooth situation. I'm so sorry. I have two college educations in my very expensive mouth. Even tho I'm religious about my electric toothbrush and flossing and all that shite.

    May glorious light of healing and bliss shine down upon you and your dear family anyway. And may your tooth fucking BEHAVE.

    I love you to pieces.


  16. What a horrible thing to have happen on this day. I am sorry for your pain and anxiety. I know what both feel like and i am just sorry. i wonder if the infection might be part of what is impacting your mood. It could very well be. I am glad you caught it before it went further and I hope the antibiotics are effective. I wish you and yours a good year ahead. I think Elizabeth said she was slamming the door on 2013 and I am right there. It has been a difficult year and you have experienced so much upheaval. As others have said, thank you for sharing yourself in such a real way. I have enjoyed visiting here. Sweet Jo

  17. Dear Ms Moon, I feel for you! All will be well even if it will take some time. I have been through really serious dental shit and made it and so will you. Don't shy away from painkillers, this is exactly what they have been invented for.
    Take care, go easy, be good to yourself.

  18. The tooth thing is so fucking traumatic. This sounds awful, and I know the panic and misery of worrying about it. But look - all you can do is go through it and hope for the best, and deal with each part of it as it comes.

    A friend of my mother's, in her 70s, had to go on holiday and do the drive down the crazy switchback mountain, you know the one? She was paralyzed with fear, really wanted the holiday but didn't think she could do it. So she did some hypnotherapy and did the drive without an issue. It works for a lot of people's phobias, might be worth a try?

    Also, it's not the same, I know this is v specific, but I was really moved by this post about the dentist being a trigger for a woman who'd experienced rape: http://alyssaroyse.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/rape-triggers-the-best-dentist-in-the-world/

  19. Oh god Jo that story really set me going.

  20. Happy New Year Ms Moon. Onward into the fog.

  21. Birdie- Ah. If they only passed that stuff out in the streets.
    I'm glad you're in my life too.

    Madame Rebecca- We have no dental insurance. Self-employed, etc. Fuck. Well. I like my own dentist okay. He sits and talks to me and lets his knee touch mine and not in a bad way. He reaches out for my hand. This surgeon was not that way. Not. At. All.

    Lisa- And to you, sweetness.

    Rachel- Hey, you beautiful woman! I think I am too old to blow anything up. Plus, rain.
    I suck at everything these days.

    Elizabeth- Looking back, I can see the way the path led to here, observing the year retroactively, so to speak. Rather inevitable, no? Thank you. For everything. You know.

    Angella- Those boys were pretty sweet and mostly want to play with their Boppy. Nah, I don't know that I really believe in closure but I do believe in letting go. I want to learn how.

    Mrs. A- If I have anything to say about it, they sure as hell will!

    Nola- Yes. Avoid this. Please.

    Susan in California- Thank you for those good words. Thank you for coming by. I'm glad to know you're here.

    Georgie J- I think I need to break time slots down into days. I swear to god. Oh wait- someone already thought of that. One day at a time. Yeah. Like that.

    Sara- It is to me.

    Gail- I think we ALL suffer from dental anxiety.

    Syd- You just about made me cry with those words. Thank you.

    Allison- Me too!

    Blue Gal- I sort of wanted to see that one so...I'm glad we were there! That's so sweet, darling.

    Beth- I have had so very few dental problems that this comes as a complete shock to me- how stupid! How foolish! What? I am not invincible? I'll take some of that light. Thank you.

    Sweet Jo- I am always so glad when you are here. Thank you. You are very dear to me. I hope it's a good New Year's for you.

    Sabine- Very little pain. But trust me- if it comes, I will demand relief. Thank you for your too-well-earned words of advice and encouragement.

    Jo- Well, I suppose I could try it. The story at that link is amazing. That is one hell of a brave woman.

    Ellen Abbott- What else is there? Happy New Years to you too.

  22. Ms. Moon, oh Ms. Moon me too. I am new to your blog. Feeling horrible the past few days with an awful toothache. My dentist is on vacation and I did not want to call the emergency number; I don't like to bother people. I finally called yesterday when I looked at my gum line above the tooth that hurts. It was all swollen and ugly. They phoned in antibiotics and I see the dentist tomorrow. 2013 was a shit crap year for me. I'm scared of 2014. I am nearly 60 and embarrassed that I don't have a better handle on life. I can't think straight. I am trying to divorce my verbally abusive husband, my mom has newly diagnosed Alzheimer's and I have a new boss at work who wants all kinds of stuff done that I don't have time to do. I am a tooth clench-er; I am guessing my seemingly perfectly healthy tooth's new ill health is related to the chaos of my life. I have only scratched the surface of the chaos. I hope I am not depressing you further. It's just weird finding your blog today. I am bloggless and clueless. Sorry, Laura

  23. She was heroic, wasn't she? And yet... living with rotten teeth (or pulling them out yourself?!) is just a terrible, horrible option too, I'm afraid.

  24. Oh no! So sorry to hear about your tooth! I've been trying to catch up with everyone's blogs so I'll have to keep reading farther down to get the complete backstory. In any case, I hope those antibiotics do wonderful, amazing things.

  25. Hugs. Hugs. Hugs. May this new year bring serenity, peace, love and happiness for all.

  26. Waaah! Dental problems suck! I've found that dentists and oral surgeons are either adorable or ass hats, no middle ground. I never go back to the asshats. I hope you get fixed up right and the antibiotics don't wreak havoc with you.

    I'm about ready to send you a care package of some spare xanax, just for emergencies :)


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