I have to get walking, have to get moving because today really IS the day I'm going to get hypnotized. Maybe.
And I slept a little late because why not?
And the birds are calling and the sky is still gray but it's warm and here's what I wanted to say this morning:
The whole Woody Allen thing?
Fuck the people who are defending his genius as a rationale for anything.
His movies aren't that fucking great. Whine, whine, whine. Every character is as whiney as he is and I haven't been to the theater to see one of his whiney films since it came out that he was fucking the daughter of his partner, Mia Farrow. You want to know why? Because that is just fucked-up shit. Plain and simple. He was the father figure in that house. She was a daughter. Blood had nothing to do with it.
And I have a policy- if a child claims someone molested her or him, I believe the child until there's some absolute proof it never happened. Kids don't make that stuff up and I seriously doubt Mia Farrow would force the child to make false claims although I am not letting Mia off the hook entirely here. Did she shut Allen out of the house as soon as the claims were made? No.
And she should have.
I say all of this from a place of having been molested as a child myself by my stepfather. I say all of this from a place of having listened to many, many women's stories of being molested as children, mostly in the home. I say this from a place of having gone to therapy for years.
My therapist used to say that if confronted, an abuser will first deny the accusations. Then, if pushed further, he (usually he, not always) will claim that the child enjoyed it, wanted it, asked for it.
Of course there's the slim chance that Woody Allen did not molest Dylan but that doesn't even matter to me. He without doubt courted and had sex with a girl who was a daughter in the house of his partner with whom he had children. (Although please god, let it be true that Ronan Farrow really is the child of Frank Sinatra.) And then had the gall to say, "The heart wants what it wants."
This wasn't about hearts and to even say it did was another sign of sickness.
And when someone is accused of molestation by a child, seemingly out of the blue, whether that person is a teacher, a priest, a coach, a stepfather, a lawyer, a mother, it does no good whatsoever and in fact, is an outrage and a perpetration of the abuse to disbelieve the child because of an image we may have of that person as a genius, a "good" person, a person of authority, a person of god, or whatever we, as a culture use to define a person as someone who could never, ever be guilty of pedophilia. None of that stuff matters, none of those titles will ever prevent a pedophile from doing what pedophiles do.
And here's what pedophiles do: They take away the innocence of a child. They take away a child's ability to trust either him or herself or other people. They take away sanity. They take away spirituality. They take away the ability of a person to grow up and enjoy fully one of the greatest gifts of humanity which is the ability to fully love and accept love in a sexual relationship. They quite often take a child's love and use it to fulfill their own evil desires, leaving the child about a million times more likely to become an addict of one sort or another, to be suicidal, to have lifelong emotional problems, to live a life which never, no matter how much therapy is received or help given or love given, is going to be the sort of life which could have been led if the molestation hadn't happened.
That's just the truth, whether that child was named Dylan or Oprah or Roseanne or Mary.
And how anyone can get past the damage done by Woody Allen because he's a fucking genius is a beyond me.
And I am not whining here. I am screaming. And if every grown-ass person who was ever molested as a child started screaming too, maybe things would change. Maybe people would trust children's words more, maybe mothers would stop hiding their heads in the sand. Maybe churches would stop protecting their priests, their elders, their deacons. Maybe universities wouldn't wait until they got hit with law suits to do something about the molesters in their midst.
Maybe people would face the truth which is that the sexual abuse of children doesn't just happen in trailer parks or in families where cousins marry cousins. It can happen in the most expensive of apartments on Central Park and even fucking geniuses can be pedophiles.