I gotta put on my shoes, I gotta walk through this gray day, the hawk is screaming, the stomach is knotting, walk some of it off, out, whatever this is, I should just take comfort in my own anxiety by now, wear it like an oddly familiar reptile, teeth in my neck, how the hell do you get used to that?
Oh well. Going to go to town to talk to this 85-year old former physician who acupunctures, who hypnotizes, see if it would cost a fortune, see what I feel, I think, I think that right now if someone offered me a brimming glass of hemlock, I might consider it; not really.
So strange. I almost am comfortable with the familiarity of the teeth in the neck, the knot in the stomach, the tingling of the limbs. As comfortable as one can be, I suppose. My mind gives me the messages that all is fucked along with and simultaneously to, everything is fine, it's just your mind. Sorry for the confusion and inconvenience, we are working on the problem, thank you for your patience.
That's a little what it is like this morning.
How about where you are? Do you have screaming hawks or just the utter stillness of white-snow-quiet?
It's Monday and we begin again. It's February and the azaleas are starting to bloom. It's life and that's pretty much all there is to it. One foot in front of the other. Ignore the mind behind the curtain, the flashing raging crazy mind. Get on with it.