Wednesday, February 19, 2014


That beautiful this morning. The Japanese magnolia shining ruby in the sun, its blooms opening slowly, shaded as they are by the live oaks.
I am so very, very fortunate to live where I live with the air so pure and and the light so pouring-down in the mornings, blessing everything I see in its glory, shining away the night's mists so that it rises up to the clear blue sky, drifts away above the moss-draped branches of the oaks.

I feel calm this morning. I feel okay.

This, like the light, like the air, like the beginning blossoms of spring, feels like a miracle.

My husband took me out for dinner last night. I was so tired when he got home. I had had a nap but it did nothing to dent my exhaustion. I think my body is going to take some time to heal from the self-produced chemicals which have been flooding it for months. I had picked some arugula, was going to make a salad. "Let's go out," he said.
"Okay," I said.
And we did.
It wasn't a great dinner but it was fine and when we got home he decided to cut his hair. He's been growing it out for some time now and growing it out was a thing he'd wanted to do for a long time. He's always had this fantasy of himself as an older man with long white hair and so it's been months since he cut it but it was bugging him and him talking about it was bugging me, to be frank.
And so last night he took the clippers into his bathroom and cut it all off. I helped him with the last parts which I hate doing because I suck at it and I always sing the same whiny song which goes like this: "I do not understand why you won't just go and pay someone to do this properly," and he sings back, "I don't know."
But I know- he hates to pay someone to do something he can do himself and I didn't fuck up my part too badly and now he looks more like his old self although he did ask me if I could knit him a hat real quick because his head was going to be cold.

Here he was last Saturday night when we ate dinner down at Spring Creek.

Here he was last night, relaxing in his chair after an hour with the clippers.

He took some selfies of before and after but frankly, they make him look like a serial killer.

He is so handsome, short hair or long.

Owen told me yesterday that my hair is too long and that I should cut it. Too bad, little man. Not going to happen right now. He's such a funny little guy. While his mama was trying on things at Ross, he and I spent some time in the shoe section. He kept pulling down outrageous shoes for me to try on. Shoes with heels. Shoes with zippers up the back. Shoes with heels AND zippers up the back. Hooker shoes, to be quite frank.
"What do you think?" I'd ask him, tottering on the heels.
"You should buy them!" he'd say. "They look good! You want them for your birthday?"
Needless to say, I did not buy any, nor do I want them for my birthday but it was fun, trying on shoes that my four-year old grandson deemed worthy of consideration.

Well, speaking of boys, they are coming early this afternoon and I have got to do a little organizing and cleaning. I can't think of the entire picture, but must start small. Perhaps my bathroom which is a chaotic mess which makes me unhappy every time I walk in there.

It is a beautiful day in Lloyd and I am feeling okay and I am one of the luckiest women in the world and I know it and I can feel it, even as I can feel my brain rewiring itself, even as I can feel my body relax a little, even as I can feel the sun on my head as I go to let the chickens out, even as I can feel the warming of the earth, the rightness of the seasons turning, the days lengthening, ever-changing, ever-the-same, and it is good.


  1. The Japanese magnolia down the block from the city house, where we are right now, is in full bloom. I took pictures but can't post them til I get back home. Glad you are feeling better.

  2. It's snowing here this morning. There isn't enough wine in my fridge to get through the rest of this long-assed winter.

    It's funny that he would pick out high-heeled shoes!

    Boppy looks like such a gentle soul...

  3. I love this image of you trying on Owen's "fancy" shoes. You're a fun grandma. And I can't decide which grandpa hairstyle I like best. The long white hair is so appealing but I get it, hard to grow from "scratch". I've been trying for years.

  4. Don't you just love a handsome man? Especially when he's yours?
    And isn't hair amazing--how we can change our looks with this thing that's part of us?
    I'm just happy and amazed at the thought of both these good things on this gray California day.
    Love from my coast to yours, Mrs. Moon.

  5. It was warm and spring-like here yesterday and I could have cried. I'm glad the grip is loosening in your parts of the world too.

    And the shoes. Priceless.

  6. Dang that man is incredibly handsome! And Owen's suggestions crack me up. Some boys are truly boys, even when they're small.

  7. Ditto what Elizabeth said about your big tall handsome husband. And isn't it amazing the way you see the same scene can shift? You saw the charm in your bathroom, simply because you were seeing with different eyes, well, maybe different chemicals, and that, as you said, was a moment of true grace.

  8. My dad has always had long hair but it would get to a point where my mom would get all excited and get him to cut it because they were crossing the border and when his hair was long they would get stopped every time. And yes, he refused to pay someone to do it. He would go in the bathroom and just pull his hair up and cut off the ends. I don't think he has cut it since my mom died. Can you hear her turning in her grave? Actually, when she lost all her hair after chemo he went into the bathroom one day and shaved his head bald. He came out and sat in his chair and was sort of covering his head with his arm when my mom noticed. It was one of the most beautiful acts of love I ever witnessed between the two of them.

    And I am standing beside you, holding your hand on our journey back to sanity.

  9. Ellen Abbott- I see them in full bloom everywhere. We just have so much shade. Even in winter.

    heartinhand- Well girl, you better get to the store and buy more wine! I would recommend some rum as well. You poor thing.
    And the high heels? Oh goodness. It must be in the male DNA.
    Boppy is a very gentle soul. With such a huge heart.

    Yobobe- I think that some of us are short-haired people at heart and some are long-haired. I really do.

    Denise- Change your hair, change your life. Ask Samson. Ha!
    And yes, my god, I am so lucky to be loved by this man. Love back to you, dear.

    Ms. Vesuvius- Jessie said it was warming up your way. Just wait- it will be so beautiful in just a few weeks. I promise.

    Elizabeth- He is my gorgeous boy. Mr. Moon, that is. And Owen is my funny boy. Both of them very much boys.

    Angella- Chemicals can be grace and demon. I believe that.

    Birdie- What a beautiful story about love and hair. Thank you for sharing it.
    And yes...both of us. Let's keep holding hands.

  10. I used to have very long hair and kept it in a pony tail but now mine is shorter but not buzzed. Mr. Moon looks sophisticated with his hair cut.

  11. There are very few men, in my estimation, who can wear their hair long -- but your man is one of them! Having said that, it looks great short too. And short is definitely the way to go when it comes to maintenance.

    Owen is so funny. I love that shoe story.

    Glad you're feeling better!


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.