Friday, February 21, 2014

This Storm Will Pass


That picture doesn't do justice to the rain pouring down right now. Thunder is rumbling and lightening flashing off in the distance and the frogs are crying out warning! warning! warning!
There will be no walk today.

I don't know what I'm doing with this day. I feel unsettled, a bit anxious, it is Friday and I wish I had those potatoes in the ground but you know that didn't happen. The deep exhaustion came over me yesterday afternoon and all I managed to do was to take a nap that I had to force myself to rouse from and then I did a little trimming of a few roses, picked up a few fallen branches. Made supper.
Feeling like I'm not worth a damn right now.

And that's about all I have to say. I am flat and useless, chilly and dark.

The thunder rumbles and my body aches and no words are coming to me and this is the way it is for me right now and the streetlight shines a night-like reflection in the puddles and the driveway is a river and the rain slows and the birds return to the feeder and what have I done with my life and what will I do with my life and I make a cup of tea and feel the universe a whirl of chaos around me.

12 comments:

  1. We haven't had a really good thunderstorm around here in so long I can't remember. Used to be they were quite common, back when we got rain regularly in the summer. I put three days in in the shop this week and when we got home last evening, I was totally done. sat down and didn't move. good thing my husband is the cook in this house.

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  2. I'm new to your blog and wish I'd found it sooner. I, too, experience days my Aunt Beulah used to call "everything-is-awful days;" though I thought, when I turned 70, that surely I was too old for that nonsense. Not so. Days still arrive when I feel my very soul will shrink; but with time—minutes, hours, sometimes a few days— I expand again into the life I love.

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  3. Sorry dear Mary. I have dedicated the remainder of this week to doing nothing except perhaps I might have to teach a violin lesson. I'm too tired being around people so much ramps up my crazy.
    Love
    Rebecca ps. I had an Aunt Beulah!

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  4. It is terrible when your soul is cold, dark and stormy. But it will pass. It may stay longer than the storm outside but it will pass. xo

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  5. I love a good rainstorm, especially the first one of the spring. Get you a good book, a comfy chair with a good light to read by and a pot of tea close to your elbow, preferably with a few good biscuits (cookies I suppose you call them).

    -invisigal

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  6. The wind is swirling here too, and it's cold. I ache from eyeballs to toenails and just want to curl up in a corner. Sometimes life forces us to sit still and just look out the window. It's okay. Grab a good book and a cup of tea.
    You could probably grow potatoes year-round there, right? I'm really not in the know about growing seasons other than my own. I know we have about 100 days where we might be able to grow something, if we are lucky.
    Ah, it could always be worse, Ms. Moon. We could be one of those poor Ukrainians being beat with batons.
    The world is a crazy place. Take precious care.

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  7. We have rain today too...went out without all the layers, feels balmy! You are a human being, not a human doing, I know I know your dislike of platitudes, but this one is reassuring and without pressure, besides being true, cause sometimes our purpose isn't being busy with stuff...I think it's true because we all end up being unable to DO,we need to just BE.
    Here's a new one, the verifier thingy has a bunch of numbers and then two upside-down crosses hanging on a wall, is there an upside down cross button on here?! What the heck! Sending warmish Vermont love your way...Carroll

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  8. Yes. What the hell is going on today, last night -- there's something in the air.

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  9. You have made children who grew up to know how to be happy, which is a harder thing than people acknowledge.

    Back to bed. Wait out the storm. Curl up in the warm and snuggle into the comfort of knowing you are safe. I think the drug makes you exhausted too, pretty sure it did me. Give in to it?

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  10. Your front doors are beautiful. They remind me a little of the house I grew up in. And I like invisigal's
    suggestion.

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  11. Thunderstorm today at the beach and some rain. But I was inside, except for a great run/walk on the beach this AM. Happy to be here but also am looking forward to being home.

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  12. Ellen Abbot- It gets harder and harder to do the things we used to do so easily, doesn't it?

    Aunt Beulah- Well, I'm glad you've found me. Thanks for taking the time to write your thoughts here. I appreciate it. You're welcome any time.

    Rebecca- Lord, I understand. I need some alone time and it's almost impossible lately.
    I had an Aunt Bill.

    Birdie- I know. I know.

    Invisigal- Sigh. I went to town. It was all right.

    heartinhand- Nah. Potatoes need some cooler weather. Don't ask me why. Besides in the summer, the bugs eat everything in the garden.
    Yeah, it can always be worse. Why this does not comfort me I do not know.
    Stay warm, honey.

    Big Mamabird- I like that. I am a human being, not a human doing. True. As to the verifier- you only have to do whatever is not in the box. It'll work without the other one.

    Elizabeth- ARRGGGHHH! May it pass soon.

    Jo- I have no choice but to give in to it at a certain point. This is not easy is it?
    Thanks for the words about my children. I do appreciate that.

    A- I love my doors. They are the same, front and back of the hallway.

    Syd- It is good to go away, it is good to come home. Glad you got that time on the beach.

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