Well, it turned out to be a day. I met Billy and MawMaw and Billy's mama at the Olive Garden and I don't care what anyone says- I love that soup and salad thing. It's so simple and so good although I was shocked to find out that they now offer four soups instead of just the two they had last time I was there. I guess it's been a while.
I still got the minestrone. Lots of fiber, you know.
MawMaw wanted extra salad dressing and extra butter for the bread sticks and Joey, our waiter, kept it all coming. The extras, more tea, more soup for those who wanted it. MawMaw is about as big as a twig and so she can have all the butter and salad dressing she wants and good for her!
After lunch we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond to get MawMaw a new neck pillow. She stayed in the van and Billy and I trolled all over that place looking for the right pillow. We finally found it and I bought some grout cleaner. I wonder if I'll ever get around to using it.
After I said good-bye to them and promised to have the both of them out very soon for chicken and dumplings which pleased MawMaw no end to contemplate, I went by Lily and Jason's. The kids were eating spaghetti and Gibson wanted to hug and kiss me and I let him and it was a little messy but worth it. Owen did not want to hug and kiss but did want to play dragon vs ogre.
I indulged him rather half-heartedly and then left so that Lily and Jason could get going on all of the errands they needed to run. I had almost made a clean-getaway when I got a call from Mr. Moon who wanted a ride out to the airport to pick up his rental car.
It's not that I mind doing that, really. It's just such a long drive and there's so much traffic in Tallahassee (well, I think it's a lot) but of course I did it and then drove home and fixed him his snack bag, his popcorn, his coffee drink, and he took off for auction.
I took the trash and the recycle. I put the clean sheets I'd washed this morning on the bed. I scrubbed the metal chicken waterer with steel wool and discovered it has some rust holes in it where the water collects at the bottom which would explain why it goes dry so quickly.
But I filled it up and set it out for them, collected today's one egg and then washed and bleached two plastic waterers and set those up too.
I got a call from the place where I'm getting my mammogram tomorrow. The woman offered me, for a mere $35 extra dollars, a new 360 degree thingee option and I said, "Oh sure. Why not?" The woman was incredibly friendly and personable. None of this robotic and efficient crap. She sounded as if she had all the time in the world to talk with me and promised me that there wouldn't be any extra pain because of the 360 degree thingee and I told her that pain wasn't what worried me but that anxiety was. I told her how much I hate call-backs and she said that although she couldn't promise anything the new 360 degree thingee made call-backs a lot less frequent and reminded me that the vast majority of these things were simply screenings leading to all-clears. She said, "Do something fun tonight and have something planned for fun tomorrow after you're done."
And in fact, I am going to go have lunch with Hank tomorrow and I am looking forward to that, especially if we go to Fanny's which I did not go to last week and which I miss already.
Good Lord. I have turned into a Lady Who Lunches.
Fuck it. That's my entire social life and I'm not going to worry about it.
For fun tonight I am going to make an omelet. That's what I want. I am going to make a spinach and onion and cheese omelet with mushrooms if I still have any, and I am going to sit in front of the TV and watch crappy Real Housewives and I'm going to go to bed early and sleep on my clean sheets and get up and get this shit over with. I have had such a very complex relationship with my breasts and really? What woman doesn't? Especially woman who have been sexually abused, I think, but they were such completely wonderfully functional milk-makers during my nursing years that I do love them, even now as they drift ever-downward. I would hate for anything to be wrong with them. I learned to love them so very much as my babies all got their nourishment, their comfort from them. All of my children were different sorts of nursers. Some just wanted to get in there and get their tummies full and be done, some wanted to linger for hours which gave me all the excuse in the world to read as they dozed and woke, nursed and dozed again. I think that breast-feeding gave my body back to myself in a healthy way, a way I never would have known otherwise, just as giving birth did. I learned to respect my body and myself in the knowledge that I could create life, deliver it safely through my own powers, and then so perfectly sustain that life with milk from my breasts.
Every day miracles. That I am so fucking grateful I was able to experience.
One time my Lis came all the way over from St. Augustine to go to a call-back mammogram appointment with me. I was so scared and she knew it and just came to be with me. She did. That's the sort of friend she is. Lord, chile, the fun she and I used to have. We shopped and tried on jewelry that we never bought and clothes that we sometimes did buy and we went out and listened to music and drank too much and survived and we giggled and we cried and once we went to St. Pete together and stayed downtown and got marriage proposals, just walking down the street on one of those First Friday events.
And now we're both so busy. How can that be? That we're busier now than we were in our thirties, our forties? I have no idea but it's true.
I miss that woman. I miss the women we were then, less serious I think, and more apt to go out and have fun.
And so it goes. The peepers are calling, the owls gave a small concert a few moments ago, hooting one to the other and I suppose it's mating season for them. Time to create new life of their own, new baby owlets, just as the frogs are probably calling for love too.
I'm tired as I can be. A long day with a walk thrown in for good measure. And by this time tomorrow, perhaps I will be filled with relief or at least I will know that Part 1 of the mammogram adventure is over.
I wish I wasn't such a crazy person. But I am.
I wish us all sweet dreams tonight and relief and peace tomorrow.