Wednesday, October 30, 2013

What Moral Authority?

I read through the comments I got on this morning's (pathetic) post and I cried. I fucking cried. 
It occurs to me that it is not the ground which is shallow, it is mostly a matter of digging my shovel deeper into it and it is easier to believe that sometimes than other times. And it is scarier to do that sometimes than other times and that's another truth we may all recognize.

The sun has set and the last of the hens are flapping their wings to get up to the nests where they roost every night and the orange and white cat which has been eating from our cat's food bowl is waiting patiently, she or he (I still don't know) is already aware of the times of day the bowl gets filled. 

I sent the boys home with feet black from dirt. Gibson's especially were dirty and they were going over to their other grandmother's house and if I'd known that, I'd probably have washed those little feet before they left. I do have some pride. Not much. When Lily called to tell me that Jason was on the way to pick Owen and Gibson up I said, "Thank god. We're playing Candy Land." 
Why in hell did I ever get that child Candy Land? Bad enough it's the most boring game in the universe but Gibson insists on sitting on my lap when we play and he wants a game piece too, and cards as well. "Blue," he repeats, as he folds and crumples a blue card. There are plenty of blue cards. Owen can't stand losing so before the game is over he'll say something like, "Pretend I'm all the way to the castle," and usually I just give in and say, "Sure, you win," but sometimes the four-year old in me comes out and I say, "No way. That is not how you play the game," which is probably not any more constructive than letting him win. I don't know and thank god that I'm not responsible for his moral upbringing. I'm not real good at moral upbringings although my own kids turned out to be pretty fair and square in that department. 

Owen stripped my avocado plant today. We'd been outside, feeding the chickens and I went in to get Gibson who had just woken up from a nap and Owen called to me to come and see what the chickens had done and there was my bare-naked avocado plant I'd grown from a seed and I almost cried. I mean, I have another one and it's just a plant but it was one of those moments. 
"Owen, the chickens did NOT do that. You did. Why did you do that?"And then I went into the story of how I grew the plant from a seed and how long it took and I'm sure it was all blah, blah, blah to him, but he finally said he was sorry and I'm sure he meant it because he hates the idea of me being mad at him. MerMer being mad at Owen is a true and complete disturbance of the universe and as I was giving Owen the speech about nurturing that plant from a seed, Gibson, who was sitting on my hip, patted me on the back as if to comfort me and I melted all over the porch and then we went inside and had muffins and chocolate milk and then we played Candy Land. 

Those boys. Having said all of that, I wish you could have seen how gently Owen helped Gibson down from a bench in the boat when they were playing. He was strong and sweet and the best big brother ever and I told him that, too. Let 'em know when they do right and let 'em know when they do wrong, I guess, and let the Candy Land shit slide. 
I don't know.

I don't know much. 

The soup is ready and Mr. Moon is home and it's time to eat supper. The heater is fixed and the avocado plant will grow back most likely and I don't even care if it doesn't. Hell's bells. 

I'll see you tomorrow. You can pretty much count on that one. 

Oh wait. I never did explain that picture, did I? That's because there is no explanation. Enjoy. 


  1. Ha! That leaves us free to make up our own narrative about the picture. I dunno but is that really Ringo Starr on the right? Ogling that unfortunate-looking girl? And is that his monkey?

    Glad you're back. I missed you.


  2. Well, you can consider yourself superior to me today (and uh, everyday) because I thought avocados grew on trees. Do you still love me?

  3. Sometimes random pictures are good. Unless of course they're of the Sonoran Desert or such. One cactus can start to look like the next after a time.
    Are these guys for your next stop animation production? "Thanksgiving at Ringos"?

  4. It's a Blue Meanie. You know there's a ska band called the Blue Meanies?

  5. Invisigal- I didn't ever really go away at all. But thanks, dear. Yes, that is Ringo. And a Blue Meanie. And a monkey. Still Life by Grandchild.

    SJ- They DO grow on trees! My plant is a tree-in-training. I'm not going to quit loving you so stop worrying.

    Bob- Haha! Ringo may well be here at Thanksgiving. That particular one, anyway.

    Mr. Downtown- I want to watch Yellow Submarine with Owen. I did not know there was a band of any sort called the Blue Meanies. I feel certain that somewhere there is also a band called Yellow Submarine. Don't you think?

  6. The dogs seem to destroy every avocado that I get started.

  7. I'm pretty sure it'll grow back if you cut off the stem. maybe even bushier. I can't get an avocado to grow anymore, although my mango do.

  8. I'm glad that you're still here. I would not be happy about the avocado either or the lying about it. But kids do some dumb things. I know that I did that or worse.

  9. I love this sweet and perfect post.

  10. Your moral authority has a sure and true compass. Gibson patting your back to comfort you just about did me in. I adore those boys.

  11. I love that you "let the Candy Land shit slide."
    Isn't that life in a nut shell?
    I should probably go write some stuff lest people think I've jumped off a cliff. Have a peaceful day!

  12. You are so encouraging to us, so I hope the comments encouraged you. Much deservedly.

    God, I laughed out loud at the Candy Land stuff. I hate that fucking game. I threw it away and pretended to my kids that we lost it.

    I like the idea that I can be not-so-good at moral upbringings but maybe my kids will turn out all right, like yours.

  13. oh yes, teaching boys not to just strip leaves off a plant willy nilly. went through it with my grandson. also the bashing of trees with big sticks.

  14. I have never ever played Candyland. I know! It comes from not having children & not living near my niece & nephews. I actually feel deprived because I can't bitch about it. But I have plenty of other things to bitch about :)

  15. Oh, I would be LIVID if someone stripped my avocado plant. I completely understand. Maybe it will grown back. Surely these things happen in nature? Surely?

  16. Gail- Dogs. I need say no more.

    Kristin- I have a very sacred (to me) mango as well. I was planning to just cut that avocado back. I think it'll be fine.

    Syd- Oh god. Me too. Kids are kids.

    Elizabeth- Thank you, precious woman.

    Angella- He's a back-patter for sure. All my kids did that but he does it more frequently than any of them. He's just sweet, that Gibson.

    heartinhand- Yeah. Fuck the Candy Land shit. Who cares?

    Ms. Vesuvius- You know your kids are going to turn out beautifully because you love them and they know it. That's what I think is the most important thing. Everything else...well, we're human.
    I love that you threw away Candy Land. I'm considering doing that myself.

    Ellen Abbott- What IS it about boys bashing trees with sticks? It's like they're getting paid for it.

    The Bug- You're not missing a thing. Trust me.

    Steve Reed- I'll let you know about the growing-back thing.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.