Monday, October 21, 2013

Just Another Manic Monday

This morning, before I got out of bed, I decided to try some affirmations. You know- those things where you affirm what you WANT to feel/believe/experience?
So I laid there and thought to myself, "Today I am going to accept with gratefulness all of the love and goodness which comes to me."

I'm waiting.

Not for the love and goodness. I drown in those things. Just the part where I accept them. And I guess where they make me happy. Or something.

I'm realizing that I am not a sweet old woman. I am a curmudgeon and getting more curmudgeonly all the time. I think I am probably a real pain in the ass to live with. However, in my defense, let me say that I am like an iceberg in that probably nine tenths of how I truly feel I try to keep below the water line. If I released my true depths of negativity, the world might come to an end.
Well, not really. I'm not THAT much of a narcissist.

Anyway, la-di-dah and it's morning in Lloyd and I'm not sure what I'm doing today. I'm not sure what I'm doing in my life either but that's another topic. It's one of those days where I know that my mind is not functioning properly or perhaps it's my spirit although I'm not sure I believe in spirit today except of course I do. I think.

Okay. Change the subject. On the island I finished reading a book I'd been enjoying for awhile. It's called The Teleportation Accident and was written by Ned Beauman and it's hysterically funny (well, it was to me) and it's a little Richard Brautigan, a little Kurt Vonnegut, a little...oh, I don't know. I'm not a fucking book reviewer. But it'll take you places and drop you off and pick you up and swirl you on to the next place. It's got cocaine, Hitler, LA back in the early days, and of course a teleportation device as well as sex and lust and desire and monkey glands.

I am now determined to read the author's first book which is called Boxer, Beetle.
I am infuriated to read that Mr. Beauman is all of twenty-eight years old and thus, I sort of hate him.
I hate him in the way that I hate the designer Johnny Was who makes beautiful clothing which I can't afford but which other rich bitches can and I hate them too.

Well, that's enough negativity for now. Perhaps one needs to repeat affirmations more than once. Perhaps it is a situation not unlike taking the garbage (which I actually need to do) which one has to do ALL THE DAMN TIME. And with sincerity.
Oh please.

Happy Monday, y'all.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Your grumpiness makes me smile today, I have to say. It reminds me of my daughter doing this negative narky old lady stuff.

    'I hate puppy dogs! I hate babies, I hate it when they smile. I hate the sunshine. I hate it when a lost puppy finds its way home!' etc.

    She went on and on, it was v funny. Still, I hope you feel more cheerful later!

  2. Ahhh Mondays. Love you, Moon woman.

  3. Jo- That made me smile. Does she hate unicorns and rainbows too?

    Angella- Love you, sweet lady.

    Yobobe- Uh-huh. Where to start? Jump in and deal with it. Blah.

  4. I like your grumpiness too - it makes me feel like I belong to the club. Although since my boss isn't here my grumpiness is totally wasted today...

  5. Have been waiting too. For ages. There must be an easier way.

  6. You are so real and I love that about you. Don't change.

    I have been in a surly mood for a bit now. I prefer the Jack Handy affirmations.

  7. And I say, "Yay for Curmudgeons. Dammit!"
    That is all.

  8. I'm about half way through East of Eden. It got boring so I put it down and picked up Prince of Tides. I'm 'bout quarter ways in and hooked. Nothing like a good book to realign the universe. Happy Monday, Mary Moon!

  9. The Bug- Grumpiness is never wasted. We have ourselves to be grumpy to.

    Sabine- There may be people for whom affirmations are a bunch of hooey. Me for one.

    Birdie- Yes. Surly. Exactly.

    Bob- We are who we are. We should not be ashamed.

    heartinhand- Well I heart you too. Thanks, sugar.

  10. I hope it makes you happy that this soul finds you lovable and anything but curmudgeonly and I judge myself quite intuitive. Sweet Jo

  11. You know I saw some Johnny Was at the outlet mall yesterday in Palm Springs. I think it was in the Neiman Marcus store -- outlet that is. That's my favorite store in Los Angeles, by the way, and they have the best sales. Honestly. Just wait and get it on sale -- or get the emails.

  12. Affirmations are bullshit. But best of luck with them!

    As for young people achieving the storied heights of success in their respective careers, well, yes, I can totally understand where you're coming from. It freaks me out when I see twentysomethings writing REALLY GOOD books and I can barely crank out a blog post. And I'm a WRITER by profession. God, that's just sad.

    But having said that, I'm glad there are people out there who can do it, because I love reading good writing! (Like yours!)

  13. I've worked with affirmations for about 30 years and find they do stimulate change but yes, require dedicated repetition and also positive statements in the present tense (as opposed to "going to" -- which reinforces that you have not arrived there yet -- you have to state "am" -- which suggests to your unconscious self that you have already arrived). But affirmations are no magic bullet, although once I had an actual physical reaction to stating something positive about my body -- which is what made me take affirmations seriously. For me, an affirmation I'm working consistently with eventually brings up all the shit that I think I've dealt with or let go of, but really haven't. Bit of an eye-opener. Great self-awareness tool. And more like planting a seed than a full-grown tree; no quick fix.

  14. I seem to have the bluntness gene. I would like to be a bit less forthright and learn out to palaver. But it has not been my forte. I do some positive affirmations which helps with my awareness. I did a lot of that when I first started in Al-Anon. I needed to feel better about myself. Now I affirm my good points when I am feeling down.


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