My face is rashy and itchy. I think that perhaps this regimen I'm on to treat my precancerous skin spots does not take well to being applied and then exposed to sun. And frankly, I'm not sure how to get around that, being outside as much as I am but here I am, rashy and itchy and about to get dressed for a funeral, a burial, a gathering.
We went last night to the viewing at the funeral home and although that is not something I would choose for myself, I think it is important to some people. I saw Paw Paw when he was alive a day before he died and I am glad of that but I have to say that he looked ethereally beautiful in his casket. He was such a handsome man and the planes of his face were sharp and defined and he wore one of his beautiful guayaberas and there were pictures of him from his entire life being flashed on the wall behind him and we all sat and laughed and cried to see him holding his babies and then his grandbabies, then his great-grandbabies. To see him and Maw Maw together, beautiful, young, so full of life that it spilled over into more life and to remember all of that. It was something. There was lots of family there, and friends as well. Sometimes that line gets blurred and in this case, that is definitely true which says a great deal about the sort of people Paw Paw and Maw Maw have always been.
I am going to get ready now for the funeral, go pick up May and Lily. Mr. Moon will meet me there and he will have to leave town before the burial, the gathering, so I will be with my babies and Hank will be there too.
Such heaviness at death. There is nothing as heavy as death, I think, all possibility of light having been taken from a being. This is why we tell ourselves that heaven is full of light and perhaps it is, I surely do not know and no one else does either but I what I do know is that we must hold each other closely at such times and bear each other up.
And so we will. Paw Paw will be laid to rest but the beautiful planes of his face live on in his children, his grandchildren and their children too. In this way, there is certainly life after death, his spirit does live on as well as his genes, no doubt about that at all, and some got his genes and some got his spirit and some got both.
I take comfort in that.