Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Trudging As Best As I Can

For some reason today has been dark for me. Woke up feeling dead-eyed and hollow and although it was a lot less humid and therefore more tolerable outside, I just could not bring myself to walk but instead, worked in my garden for three hours, pulling weeds, mulching, and then planting a row of rattlesnake beans and a row of zipper peas but they were left over from last summer and I have no idea if they'll sprout or not. Beans to me seem to keep the germ of life within them forever, once they are dried, but who knows?
Not me.
A few weeks ago when I made black bean soup from a recipe and was reading the comments on it, people kept talking about making sure the beans were "fresh." Dried beans. I've never considered the age of a dried bean. Have you? By their very nature, dried beans are the opposite of fresh beans. Every bean I've ever cooked has eventually softened and become delicious. I think this whole concept of fresh versus old dried beans may be bullshit unless the beans are ten years old or something.
But whether or not that translates to sprouting, we shall see.

I've been putting off going to the store but today I knew I really needed to go and I found myself in Publix having to remind myself to breathe which hasn't happened in forever. Publix is as familiar to me as my own yard but sometimes, I guess, when anxiety is abounding, anxiety can happen there as well as anywhere. I managed to get my shopping done and I also managed to avoid talking to someone I know from old hippie days which was a huge relief to me. I just couldn't do it. I reassure myself that she probably had no real desire to talk to me either and so that's not a big deal.

Maurice has been fighting again. Her right eye is swollen almost shut and she has tiny wounds on her face. I don't know if she's been fighting Jack or the other gray and white cat who desperately tries to come into the house to eat cat food and pees in the house when he does manage to slip past the guard cats and whom my neighbor has asked Glen to shoot although she's also said that if she gets a chance, she'll shoot him. This is the neighbor who calls if she hasn't seen Jack in a few days because he visits her to get canned cat food. And she brushes Jack. With a brush. Which he reportedly loves. So if he doesn't show up for a few days, she worries.
I haven't seen that other gray and white cat for awhile though and I think that Maurice is attacking Jack or vice versa. They have been extra growly and spitty and wary when they accidentally meet up in the house lately. And of course Jack outweighs Maurice by about ten pounds (seriously) and never shows a scratch on him.
Oh, cats.

The chickens are good. I had not gotten an egg in days and almost bought some at the store today but then I remembered to look in the little shelter in the coop where the young chickens were sleeping before they moved to the regular hen house and sure enough, I found six lovely ivory eggs of various sizes.
Oh, chickens.

And that's it. It seems to me that the noose around DT's neck is slowly being pulled tighter and tighter and even that thought does not thrill me. What a huge and horrible mess he's made of our country and what terrible suffering he's putting people through and even if he is removed from office I fear it is going to be decades before we can begin to really see positive, good change again.
All I can say on days like this is that if I manage to put one foot in front of the other, get the laundry done and supper on the table, I've done as much as I can possibly do.

Time to go and attempt to achieve that goal.

Love...Ms. Moon




21 comments:

  1. Dried beans are pretty amazing. They find them in Mayan ruins soak them and eat them and sprout and grow them.

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  2. Several years ago, i wanted to cook beans for supper, and all i had was a bag from the back of the pantry that must have been at least 3 years old. Using my usual method, i cooked them, and eight hours later they were still hard. After 24 hours in the crock pot, adding liquid as needed, they were still hard.

    Comes a point where they really do get too old to cook. Whether they will sprout, i do not know.

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    1. I have also had this experience.

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    2. And me too. Dried beans CAN be “too old”.

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    3. Well, live and learn. I guess I've just never let beans get that old.

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  3. I already miss my chooks. I will have chickens again as they are such a delight. Perhaps not while I have this dog (though she did eventually learn to just glance at them out of the corner of her eye and move on), but later. I think they may be good for me when I'm old - I would love the time to hang out with them more.

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    1. Yes. When you are old, chickens will be a huge delight to you. I promise.

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  4. I have never had or been around chickens much. You make me think I am missing something wonderful. My daughter, when she used to go to the farm with her class several weeks of the year, absolutely loved the chickens. I guess I'm glad now she didn't miss that in this life.

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    1. I would only expect that your daughter loved the chickens. She sees what is real and what is good. I'm glad she hasn't missed that either.

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  5. Some days are for looking after ourselves and not be too demanding.

    For the first time this year I had some beans that would not sprout and I felt extremely let down. How dare they.

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    1. HOW DARE THEY!?!
      Beans. Do your job. Live forever. Etc.

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  6. Some days are for looking after ourselves and not be too demanding.

    For the first time this year I had some beans that would not sprout and I felt extremely let down. How dare they.

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  7. this country is fucked up and not just by what Trump is doing. I'm convinced if the democrats don't take over congress in November then we can kiss the constitution goodbye. well, I still have corn and tomatoes to put up but I've cooked all the eggplant and zucchini that had accumulated.

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    1. Thank you for inspiring me to plant corn. What fun! My ears are swelling! I did not plant zucchini this year and sort of regret it. Just starting to get the eggplant.
      As to the constitution- I hope otherwise but fear you may be right.

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  8. "Fresh" beans = bullshit.

    I think you're right about DT. I worry that even if we do successfully prosecute and remove him from power or render his presidency more or less ineffectual, the partisanship and damage to our society will linger for decades. Trump fans will feel manipulated and trod upon by "elites." I just don't know why we all can't have conversations anymore. I grew up around people I disagreed with, but it never prevented us from being civil and cooperating.

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    1. We used to respect well-educated, intelligent people. And now we call them the "elites." This scares me more than anything. Do we really want idiots whom we think we'd like to get a beer with running our country? Obviously, we do. Which is too fucking scary to contemplate.

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  9. I don't know if this is at all helpful, but sometimes I play music on my earbuds when grocery shopping - keeps me distracted AND I have an excuse to not talk to people I know ;)

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    1. I thought about this and realized that it is not a cultural thing to wear earbuds while shopping here. I am not sure why. But although it's a good idea, I think I would be too self-conscious to try it.

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  10. Hello Ms.Moon. My name is Beth and I stumbled across your blog as I was reading a post by a mutual friend Sean Dietrich. I have enjoyed your blog. I am still catching up tho so I don't know everyone yet but hopefully I will be able to figure out who's who.
    Maggie is precious as well as all children. I have 6 biological grandchildren and 3 honor added in. My grandsons mother remarried and he has 3 kids of his own. I wish I could see mine. 2 are in Reno Nevada and the other 4 are in Mammoth Lakes California.
    Anyway I am off to continue reading. I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.
    I am in Austin Texas. It's hot as blazes here. Yesterday we were 102 degrees in some parts. It's pretty miserable for a lot of people. So far I have fantastic air conditioning so I am grateful for it. Take care. Beth Reed

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