Sunday, June 24, 2018

I'm Too Tired To Come Up With A Title

It's just been a very low-level day. A hot, sweltering, sticky low-level day. I went outside to do anything exactly twice. Once was to let the chickens out this morning. Mr. Moon went with me and we so cruelly gave those birds the crickets which were not used for bait on yesterday's fishing trip. Poor things. Just when they thought they'd escaped death via large-mouth bass, they got gobbled up by spry and hungry chickens. 
The other time I went out was to water the porch plants where I found this. 

Dang Darla and Violet! I haven't been finding any of their eggs lately at all and god knows where else they've been stashing them. 

The rest of the day has been spent in fruitless sewing. I almost finished Magnolia's dress and realized it was way too long and since the bottom part was a ruffle that I'd already hemmed and trimmed with rick rack (why isn't it called zig zag?) I had to unsew the ruffle from the dress part, cut off about five inches of that and sew the ruffle back on. Now this doesn't sound like much BUT in doing this I had to rip stitches and re-gather and reattach. Then I trimmed the seam on the newly attached ruffle-to-dress and did my favorite fucked up magic trick of cutting part of the dress as I trimmed. 
So. Now I can either figure out a way to sew cute little hearts all around the bottom or do what I should do which is to rip out the ruffle-to-dress stitches AGAIN and regather AGAIN and resew AGAIN. 
You know, this dress really should have taken about two hours from start to finish. I remember making a Vogue bridal pattern dress with a lining for a prom dress in one day. 
And this pattern is as uncomplicated as it gets. "EASY! FACILE!" it says on the front of the envelope holding the pattern pieces and instructions. 
Yeah. For a seventeen year old. 

Anyway, la-di-dah. I could buy my granddaughter a dress twice as cute at Target that cost half as much as I paid for the pattern and fabric and none of that is the point. I enjoy sitting at the machine and listening to an audio book and just messing about with it all. I will admit that when I saw what I'd done with my errant scissor work I gave forth with a loud and vehement, "PISS!" which caused Jack to bolt from the room and I was rather shocked because this is not a curse I generally use. I'm more apt to say "FUCK ME!" but maybe I'm changing it up. 

Here's another thing that made me feel inept- trying to install Roku and Sling TV to our TV. I mean, I stepped in after Mr. Moon gave up on pairing the remote with the whatever-that-is and figured that out and managed to set up an account and blah, blah, blah but don't ask me how it's going to work or what channels we have or anything like that. And it makes me feel so old and technologically challenged because even though I can follow instructions on how to do the shit, I have no idea how it works and I always hit a point where I just decide to not worry about it and if I can stumble upon something I might possibly want to watch it's been a real good day. 
I remember when technology was going to save us so much time and it was going to make our lives better and easier and that was all bullshit. 
Okay. I do love the internet. 
But it's like going to the store now- why is there an entire aisle of cereal, most of it made from the same three grains which would be far better for us if we just bought the grain and cooked and ate it with some honey than it is all processed and boxed up and which causes us to lose our minds trying to decide what to get? 
And Wheat Thins? I love Wheat Thins. Why are there now fifty different flavors of Wheat Thins? Wheat Thins are not lifesavers. They are Wheat. Thins.

What the hell IS Roku? What the fuck is Hulu? And Sling TV? That just makes me think of a boomerang. Are they slinging channels to us? Slinging through the internet? And Hulu is like Voodoo and Roku is like some variety of sushi. 
Ah well.


Well, Mr. Moon is happily grouting away in his shower and I have bread rising and martinis are being consumed. I hear that Owen and Gibson had a fabulous time with Uncle Hank and that Owen drank a a two-liter of Mexican grapefruit soda. 
Now see- how many uncles would have Mexican grapefruit soda for you to drink? 
I love that stuff. But I only drink it in Mexico. 

And Lily went to the beach with her boo Edie and daughter Magnolia and I got this picture. 

Doesn't she look busy and happy? My little beach baby. 
And her pretty mama. 

Tomorrow I have my appointment with my beloved Dr. Zorn and even though he is beloved to me, you know how difficult this is for me. In all seriousness, I've been dreading this for months. It's just a check-up. But of course I feel quite certain that my blood work will show some horrible disease process peculating in by body and/or he'll find suspicious lumps like in Terms of Endearment and the next thing you know I'lll be in the hospital trying to wait for it to be time for my next morphine injection only I don't have a mother to yell at the nurses to give me my shot. 

Actually, that's not what I'm really afraid of but I don't know what I'm really afraid of and the fact of the matter is, I am afraid and that's all there is to it. As afraid as a little child. Sixty-three years old and that's how it is.
You'd think I'd be a bit more sanguine about it all now, wouldn't you?
Well, this time tomorrow it will be all over.

See you then.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. If you ever need a MAW to come and yell at nurses for drugs , I am the gal, I can do that.
    PISS is such a clean swear! and hilarious, thank you, I am adding that to my favorite swears.
    Baby girl is , as always, the cutest little huggable I ever did see!
    Your sewing efforts produce really cute wares- how ever long it takes. I sewed upholstery for a car once in two afternoons, map pockets and cup way could I attempt anything other than hemming my pants now. Well done you, PISS!

  2. Maggie will love that dress!

  3. I’ll be holding your hand at the doctor tomorrow and all will be well. Maggie sure is cute.

  4. I fear a trip to the dentist like you fear a trip to the doctor. As soon as I make an appointment the diarrhea starts. I start having bad dreams and I turn into a bitch. My dentist calls me in a script for two Xanax...a half to take before going for my appointment, half when I get there, and one when I leave. Of course, I always need a ride. And all this is even when I just have my teeth cleaned! I hate feeling that way, but such is life. I'll be thinking calming, peaceful thoughts for you tomorrow.

  5. I know, right? technology only makes life easier when you have somebody come and install it for you. I've mostly been able to keep up but I feel my interest waning. I suppose I should update my website. it's been a while. hopefully all my tile will get grouted today. and I went to a new primary care doctor last week since my old one, already 40 minutes away, moved farther out. she's young and an osteopath. I liked her a lot.

  6. That you even try to sew is a wonder to me, what a labor of love for your family to cherish. I still have the nightgowns my grandma made for me when I was little. I'll never get rid of them.
    I'll be thinking good thoughts for you at the doctor, wishing you less fearful thoughts, and a little peace of mind. I know exactly how you feel. That video clip brought tears to my eyes. xo

  7. lol, PISS! Indeed.

    Magnolia, *hearteyes*

    I hope your appointment is fine, and you can just focus on when it's over and all is still well.

  8. I say "FUCK ME!" too. That is my swear of choice. Or "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" (Sorry I'm swearing all over your blog.) I don't think I have ever exclaimed "PISS!"

    The way products are marketed in the USA is truly insane. By this I mean the endless "brand extensions" that say if ONE kind of Triscuit is successful, why not have FIFTY kinds of Triscuit?! Buying toothpaste is like an Olympic sport. It seems like things here in Europe are not quite as crazy, but it could be that I'm simply going to small urban grocery stores that don't carry every variety of every thing.

    I once did an article on consumer choice and how it has ballooned and made all our lives far more stressful. It was a fun story.


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