Saturday, June 9, 2018

Ruminating Oh How Much I Miss The Hopey-Changey Thing

I am seriously wondering if the rise in deaths by suicide have anything to do with DT being in office.
I think it must.
Of course I have nothing to back that up but as someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, I know personally that having him in the White House is one more bit of fuel the brain can use to try to convince someone who is already struggling that everything is more hopeless than it's ever been. There is no doubt that after the election many people found themselves waking up daily with a huge sense of dread and fear and the realization that what we had believed to be true about our fellow citizens and our country had been proven totally wrong.
And not in a good way at all.
And of course, our fears have proven to be justified and quite frankly, things are getting far worse than even I could have imagined. I think this may be true for many of us.
As I've said so many times, it's as if that man wakes up every day, consults with the devil to determine what the absolute most evil thing he could do would be, and then does it.
And Congress appears to be, for the most part, more than willing to pucker up and kiss the Trumpian ass and join him in the Faustian bargain.
Not sure what they think they're going to get out of this. Money, of course. But even Robert Johnson made a better deal than theirs down at the Crossroads and probably because the devil has more integrity when it comes to keeping his word than Donald Trump does. Sure, he lost his soul but he will be remembered forever as the beloved and lightening-filled father of the blues guitar whereas if there is any justice (and aren't we all a bit worried there may not be?) those law-makers will be remembered in history as evil incarnate or perhaps even better yet, not remembered at all.
Trump will be.
Oh yes he will.

So that's what I've been thinking about today which has been a slow, non-eventful day. Last night Miss Violet did not show up in the roost but this morning she appeared again as if by chook magic and she's done this before. She's my wild little thing and I do love her.

We got another nice rain storm this evening, nothing like yesterday's but fine in its own right. I am making spaghetti like your mama made only with ground venison instead of ground beef. I was happy to see this morning that the year-old zipper cream peas I planted the other day have come up nicely. The rattlesnake beans haven't broken ground but I think they might. We'll see after all this rain.

Tomorrow is Hank's birthday and forty-two years ago I was twenty-one years old and in labor in a little apartment on Miccosukee Road in Tallahassee having my little mind blown at what giving birth was actually turning out to be like and quite certain that I was in a devil's dream of pain of my own and that nothing good could come of this and wondering how in the world the regular activities of the universe could be carrying on around me while this, this, THIS was happening in my body. Little did I know that although Ina May and her hippie mamas may have understated what labor would actually feel like, they had also not been able to actually describe how I would feel when my baby was finally born and I held him in my arms.

Maybe this is a good time to remember that. To remember that there are things which can be more painful and unbearable and messy and humbling than we ever thought we would experience but that if we hold on, if we just manage to make it through this minute and then that one and then that one, it will have been far more worth it than we could ever know.

Maybe. Take that for what it's worth.

Love...Ms. Moon





20 comments:

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    1. And I love you more than words can ever describe. But you know that. See you tomorrow!

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  2. I for one have felt more suicidal since DT became president. Not him so much, assholes and evil people are everywhere. It that about half the people thought and continue to think he is a good person. I have lost my faith in humanity.

    Happy Birthday, Hank. Are you going to blog again? I hope so!

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    1. The first weeks after the election were really, really hard. It hasn't been exactly easy since then but those were horrible days. And yes, I felt and feel exactly as you do.
      And hell yes! Hank should be blogging again but he's just too damn busy to worry about his adoring public.
      Sigh...

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    2. Congratulations on your first born’s birthday! It goes by so fast, doesn’t it? Now a grand mom with 4 boys and one girl after just one boy and 3? Girls! But more to come, I’d bet.

      As for Dotard Don, I hope he isn’t affecting despondency. It just gives him power. Corpses can’t vote and we need every single vote, especially in your state. It’s not enough that most Americans do not support this monster. They have to vote in key states. I hope the Puerto Rican’s relocating to Florida after the destruction from the Hurricane that has not be adequately addressed by any measure vote enmasse and turn the tide there. It would be Justice and karma.

      The pain can be unbearable. I wish Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain had made sure they were not alone when that pain hit. They could have afforded a constant aid. It’s as important for those who have such attacks to have someone always with them as it if for someone with debilitating seizures or heart condition. We do not give mental pain, psychic pain the concern we do to physical pains.

      Hang in there. You are so needed

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    3. That's so interesting to point out that people who feel suicidal should never be alone. The problem of course is that nothing makes you feel less like being around other people than depression and that people with feelings of wanting to die often don't ever say that out loud. But you're right- that should be a given if the knowledge is there.
      I surely hope that the Republicans don't manage to keep voters away from the polls but I know they're working on it as hard as they can. Voters who would not vote for them, of course.

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  3. Today began in a dark place for me. I knew I had to get out the house and find congenial company. I feel lucky that I was able to, that there are such people in my life. It makes a difference. It interrupts the thought loops, helps one escape from the prison of mind. And I agree with you, almost worse than Trump are the people in Congress and elsewhere who are going along with his evil like sheep. So much for checks and balances. Never has the vote been more important. As long as it’s not hacked of course. But let’s get to what’s truly important right now: Happy birthday Hank!!!

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    1. You are so wise to know when it is time to be with others. I'm afraid I'm not very good at that although sometimes I do get with my children and grandchildren simply because I know that's what I need. And it does always help with that horrible loop of ill thoughts.
      Yes. It's not really Trump. Of course it is but mostly it's the fact that there were enough people who believed in him and believed him to vote him into office. And that Republicans are supporting him no matter what. And he doesn't give a shit about any of them.

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  4. Happy Birthday to your son. I hope you all have a wonderful celebration tomorrow!

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  5. I do hope so, and I think often of those who emerged from other grotesque -- far more grotesque -- periods in history (the Holocaust, the Rwandan genocide, etc. etc.) and went on to live full lives. But I have to admit that this current period is overwhelming in the weirdest of ways -- it's just so all-encompassing -- blasted at us 24-7.

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    1. You're right. 24-7. We're not able to forget about any of it for a moment.

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  6. Happy Birthday to Hank and to you, Mary. I just can’t think about the rest.

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    1. I think it is sincerely good to just stop thinking about it sometimes. Otherwise, we go mad.

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  7. I fear you are right re DT suicide rates are rising here due to our cruel govt and we have had several celeb suicides too. It is a massive mess this side of the pond too. Love to you n yours Maggi

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    1. The world is not in a pretty place, is it dear Maggi?
      Let us all hold on and hope for better times.

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  8. I do think the pendulum will swing again. I mean, the man is even taking potshots at CANADA! He's out of his mind. And I think voters know it, at least the ones who are paying attention. (Which, admittedly, is part of the problem -- many aren't.) As you said, I wouldn't be surprised if DT and the state of the world in general didn't feed into some people's sense of despair.

    Happy birthday to Hank!

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    1. I'm not sure that Trump had much a of mind to be out of anyway. He is undoubtably crazy. That's for sure. Why hasn't someone done something to get him out of the office? If he hasn't proven himself to be a danger to the US and to the world already, I don't want to think about what it would take.

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  9. I can't speak to why suicide is increasing but the planet is so overpopulated and we have become so far removed from the natural environment and what it means to live in the world that I think humanity as a whole is sick, perhaps insane. how do you quell a longing or a pain if you don't know what or why? as for the state of this country, I've become defeatist. that doesn't mean I won't vote or do what I can to change directions, just that perhaps our empire is coming to it's natural end as all empires do. America will survive but it will be very different. either that or it will join with Putin and China to form an evil triumvirate and rule the world.

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    1. I think you make some valid points about people being so far removed from the natural environment and there is always the simmering knowledge in our minds that we are destroying that environment as fast as we can.
      Oh god. I hope you're not right about the evil triumvirate but I could see it happening under this insane lunatic.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.