Sunday, August 9, 2009

Solo (And Taking Crappy Pictures)




Mr. Moon just left town to go down to visit his sister in Sarasota and pick up a car and go to auction and oh hell, I don't know. It's like this whole past week has been- things go on and I don't even try to keep track. Lily and Jason's belongings are strung out from one car and truck and garage to another and I don't need to know the details and so I don't.

My brain is cluttered plenty as it is.

And today has been so non-flowing. Maybe it started last night when we slept upstairs because there's a window unit AC up there and the AC down here is, as I noted yesterday, kerplunk. We called the company but they haven't so much as thought about returning the call, as far as I can tell. Those two wonder-twins who did the repair just better get their asses back over here and figure it out.

We'd never slept upstairs and lo and behold, it was a great night of sleep. The bed up there is comfy, the AC works fine and there were neither ghosts or mice to disturb us, although the presence of both is quite possible. Here's a picture with Buster sitting on the bed. He thinks he's going to get to sleep with me tonight since Mr. Moon is going to be out of town.



He may be right.

Mr. Moon didn't sleep quite as well as I did. He had to get up in the night to pee and it is a long, scary way down the steps to the bathroom and a long trudge back up to bed. I told him to pee out the window but he wasn't interested in taking out the screen.



I hear that's what the little boys who lived here fifty years ago did- peed out the window. This information came to me from one of their now-wives. She and that grown-up boy and his mother and their five children live catty-cornered across the street from us.

This is Lloyd.

Anyway, when we got up I made pancakes and we ate them on the back porch with maple syrup and honey and the dishes are still in the sink. It's almost two o'clock and the dishes are STILL IN THE SINK.

Well. La-di-dah.

Mr. Moon had many things to do before he left which included dealing with our cars and rental cars and packing and hanging out with the chickens for a few moments. So that took awhile. It always seems to involve me, his leaving. I make him a snack bag and a coffee drink and I make sure he has his books on tape and his computer and his pillow. So while I was trying to help him get ready I was hanging clothes on the line and cleaning up a lot of dog pee. I don't know why but my dogs are peeing in the house today like, well, beasts. Every room I've been in today seems to have pee in it and I don't see it, I just step in it. Why are they doing this?

I think they're jealous of the chickens. When we go out and hang out with the birds, the dogs sit in the fenced in area a few feet away and watch and listen as we tell the chickens how beautiful they are and feed them tid-bits of fruit. The dogs probably think we're feeding them steak and that we like the birds better than we like the dogs.

Guess what? They're right. Except for the steak part.

Although it's hard not to love this one:


That's Pearl, the real dog of the house, who in human years (according to Wiki Answers and we all know that's correct, right?) is about 72. She's a healthy 72 but she's slowing down and getting very gray. She likes to stand with her head on Mr. Moon's knee, especially if he's eating venison sausage, which he was this morning.

While I was taking Pearl's picture, I had to take Dolly's too, because she has such a pretty little face.


She wanted some sausage too, but gladly ate the cantaloupe I gave her instead. Pearl, being a REAL dog, refused the fruit. "Give it to those damn chickens you love so much," she probably thought.

And since I've now give you pictures of all the dogs but Zeke, here he is too. Gotta be fair about these things.


Damn dogs with their damn pee-pees.

So to sum up- it's hot, it's Sunday, I'm alone in a house with four seemingly incontinent dogs and there are fourteen chickens in the coop and not a one of them is laying eggs but I love them anyway and I better go wash the dishes and finish hanging the laundry.

Sunday afternoon at the Mother Church of the Batshit Crazy and I suppose the High Priestess would be me because it's my church, and I'm reporting in. I'm sweaty, hot and feeling mighty slow but at least I'm not wearing a bra.

And life is good.

23 comments:

  1. Funny.

    I've got till 5 to get my chores done. I'm cleaning closets, etc... which reminds me, we have a stroller that is like new. Ask Lilly if she wants. I know some things people like to have new... but I'm not one of them!

    Anyway, I'm finding lots of stuff. If ya'll want to spend the night, or if Lilly and Jason want to sleep in AC they are welcome to Harley's room. We have to run it because of Marc's asthma anyway.
    Good luck! And do come by before 5 if you have a mind to.

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  2. I've been thinking about all the great things you can teach your grandchildren and share with them. The chickens, gardening, and all kinds of things from yours and Mr. Moon's lives.

    Mostly you just love them so much you can't stand it. And they love us back!

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  3. Your pictures are NOT crappy! They are beautiful, and your staircase is lovely.

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  4. I'd pee out the window if I could.

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  5. Those dogs have some personalities. I can tell by the pictures.
    I'm kinda discombobulated today too. I've had a headache for three days and it's cloudy out. I'm braless as well, thank god for small favors (and small boobies) on a discombobulated Sunday.

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  6. Ms. Fleur- Thanks for the coffee! It was a lovely break on a Sunday afternoon. And you have such a gorgeous boy. What a great mother you are!

    Joy- Yes. I am going to be the crazy grandmama. I can't wait to look for eggs with my grandson.

    Ginger- Oh. I have good subjects, just bad focus.

    Aunt Becky- Wouldn't we all? Sigh....

    Michelle- Why have you had a headache for three days? Go get a massage! Yeah, easy to say, right? But still, you NO DOUBT need one.

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  7. Why are the hens not laying eggs?

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  8. Elizabeth- Because they are not old enough yet. Soon. Very soon. And Kathleen says that when the weather cools down some, they will. So- another month? Maybe?

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  9. I've been in this house all day, and not a damn thing has been done. The living room floor is a disaster of cat hair and dust, the diaper pail needs a clean bag, the cat litter box is, well, let's just say it's not good.
    And on my one short venture to the grocery store, Farty managed to have a tantrum resulting in a glass jar of yams being pitched to the floor,cleanup in aisle 4.
    This is my day. A big mess and no motivation to do a damn thing about it.
    Love the pics though. I'm a crazy cat lady myself, but your dogs are very cute.

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  10. Well, Rachel, I feel as if you, too, have participated in the Church of Batshit Crazy today.
    Welcome. No collection plate and no bra-wearing requirements.
    Tomorrow will be a better day.

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  11. You just don't find beautiful stairs like those anymore. Love your raconteur-ship and not one Muthafucka in it this time.Are you slipping and mellowing?
    I had a lover who drank, got up in his sleep, and did your doggies' thing. for a few years it was awful. I had no idea how to cope with this kind of behavior. But shit, y'get used to anything in this life. I mean you love your dogs don't you?

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  12. I have a real fear of stairs. Impossible to avoid them, so I breathe deeply and clutch the bannister tighter than holy wow. Your curvy stairs are lovely, but I would have peed in a Coke can before I went down those in the dark. Sticking my booty out the window to pee sounds like an invitation to land on my back in the yard!

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  13. Zeke looks like he somehow knows you took a pity picture =)

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  14. Berry- Whoa, dude! Dogs being incontinent and disrespectful of pee-ing rules are one thing. Humans? Well, we love whom we love.
    And I have NEVER said Muthafucka. Ever. I use the proper form- Mother fucker. Am I mellowing? Oh god, I hope not.

    Ms. Eden- You want another one?

    Caron- Mr. Moon suggested a pee-bottle. I was not amused.

    SJ- I know. He did. You're right.

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  15. No, no. Motherfucker is much more your style...no need for all that bling.

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  16. SJ- Exactly. I am a well-mannered Southern woman.

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  17. the staircase is gorgeous.

    MY wondertwins say 'who's dogs are those and why does she have sp many and they are all three so cute and why is that one's name dolly?

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  18. I think you're very optimistic about the weather cooling down in a month. I admire that in you. It has been a killer this summer. A weird summer for weather here in Florida, right? I have AC trouble, too. Boo Hiss! Mine's trouble is that the previous owners kept adding on but didn't put in another unit, so the one measly little unit I have is working double time trying to cool too much space. I feel sorry for it working so hard in this heat.

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  19. thank YOU for coming over and reminding me that I can occasionally do something for me. An actual sacred grown up moment. Aaaaaah.

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  20. Adrienne- Why DO I have so many dogs? Well, I answered that question in a former post. http://blessourhearts.blogspot.com/2009/01/why-i-have-four-dogs.html
    And there is also the question of why I have both a dog and a chicken named Dolly.
    And the stairway is beautiful but I can never look at it without wondering how many people have died on it. I hope none.

    Ms. Windy- See- when we moved into this house, the AC was not adequate and so we replaced it with a top-of-the-line new huge unit. And it's had so many problems.
    And I'm with you- it probably won't be one bit cooler in a month.

    Ms. Fleur- Indeed!

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  21. All the dogs are nice, but I really dig Buster for some reason. I know that's shallow of me to judge on looks alone--that's how I picked my husband, too--and look how that shit turned out.

    Ginger goes through phases where she pisses on the floor more, too. I get weary from using the goddamn Woolite stain stick, but thank God for it!

    All in all, I think I prefer cats. Dogs are nice, but nasty. They piss on floors and slurp at their assholes and even eat shit sometimes.

    Right now, Ginger is thinking the new auto-cleaning cat litter box is a damn revolving sushi buffet!She likes the taste of cat turds. That shit is gourmet to her.

    Barf.

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  22. Ms. Bastard- What can you say? Dogs are just dogs. Dammit.

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