Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Wednesday Whatevers

Okay. So Mr. Moon came home early this afternoon so he could play with Owen which was a real treat. I was a terrible grandmother today and let Owen bust his lip. I do not know how it happened. He was crawling, which he is an expert at and I was standing right over him, talking on the phone and he crawled over a wooden lamp base and I guess he did a face plant and well...there was blood and there were tears and I felt like I'd let him cut his arm off. It was terrible.
I think he forgave me.
When he left with his daddy he screamed again but this time because he'd been watching the chickens who'd come out to see him. When they see Owen they think treats might be forthcoming due to the fact that Owen and I always give treats to the chickens. Today Mr. Moon joined us and we fed them grapes. And so when he was leaving, they all raced up and Owen was pointing at Elvis and he was crowing and was so very happy and then his dad put him in his car seat and he was heart broken. And pissed. Very, very pissed. And he let us know it. Again, I felt terrible but at least this time it wasn't specifically my fault and there was no blood.
This pointing thing has added a whole new level of communication with that boy. He points and goes, "Uh!" and that means he wants it. Basically he wants everything. Especially if it can go into the mouth and resembles food. Oh boy. That child can eat. And whenever he points and I don't give him what he wants he looks at me as if to say, "Excuse me- what have you done with my real grandmother? Bring her back, please."


All right. I want to talk about Costco. I was never, ever, EVER going to go to the one in Tallahassee because it was built right next to a Walmart and a sporting goods place (which is already out of business) and they tore down some of the most beautiful woods and trees and burned up some old cracker houses to build the monstrous big-boxers and it pissed me the hell off. The sign for the whole thing has a beautiful oak tree on it and yes, they left ONE FUCKING OAK TREE on the entire property. It was nothing short of rape.
So. I didn't want to go to Costco.
But Mr. Moon bought a business membership there because he is practical above all. And I went in and okay, whatever, like Sam's club, blah, blah, blah.
And I barely ever used the place until lately but shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Now I love it.
Their tabouli. Their stuffed grape leaves. Their tzatziki sauce. Their olive-rosemary bread. (Two loaves for $2.99.) Those take-and-bake pizzas with fresh tomatoes, basil and mozzarella. (Giant-sized for $7.99.) Their organic coffee. (When they have it.) The frozen organic berries. The Greek yogurt. That room you walk in which is cold where all the produce lives. The organic baby greens. The big bag of bell peppers.
Oh dear. Need I go on? I have even started looking at their jewelry, some of which I would happily wear.
I am addicted now. I hate them for making me love them. DO YOU HEAR ME?
I am such a fucking hypocrite.
But I still avoid Walmart like the plague.


My Tussy deodorant arrived in the mail. I am so happy. So are those who must be close to me.


Mr. Moon and I just went down and picked blackberries for about an hour or so and came back with almost two gallons. This is the best year for blackberries I have ever seen. Our dialogue in the field went something like this:
"Shit. Ouch. Goddam. You okay?" Etc.
Picking blackberries is just miserable but they're so damn good.
It occurred to me that picking wild berries is one activity that hasn't changed one iota in the entire course of human history. Whether you dress in skins or denim, whether you put your berries in a sawed off milk jug or a homemade basket, the act itself is exactly the same. Reach and pluck, reach and pluck. Watch for snakes and bears.
Now I can bring mine home and freeze them whereas if I were an earlier human I suppose I would have dried my berries or made wine of them. Something which would keep. I SHOULD make preserves and maybe I will but that requires so much sugar and the jars AND the work. Honestly, I believe I might just freeze them all and use them in smoothies or desserts and muffins later on. Of course, if we have a hurricane and lose our power for a week (which is not outside the realm of possibility), we'll have to eat blackberries like a frenzied raccoon for a few days.
We shall see.


Lisa Page Rosenberg, who writes over at Smacksy linked a site in one of her Sunday posts which I am loving. It's called Advanced Style and if you are older or younger or whatever, go there and be inspired to be who it is you really want to be, even if you don't live in New York City. Go there and learn not to be afraid to wear a whole lot of jewelry at once if you want to and to paint your fingernails green with hand painted black designs on them. Go there and behold the glory of style in older age!
And go visit Smacksy, too, because she's funny as hell and has a son who cracks me up and makes me want to cover his face with smacksy kisses.


I think it's funny that not one person mentioned my horribly heretical statement that I believe that chickens have done more for mankind than Jesus did on a practical level. I thought I'd lose at least ten followers. Instead, I picked one up. There's still time, though, to unfollow me. I'm thinking that the Catholic church, at least, is going to put my blog on that list of things which if you participate in will get you sent straight to hell. But then again, the Catholic church just came out and said that the Blues Brothers movie is a classic Catholic movie so maybe they're cooler than I thought they were.


We finally watched Crazy Heart. I thought it was pretty good and I thought that Jeff Bridges was tremendous but I have to tell you something- they changed the ending. The book's ending is terribly sad and not at all upbeat so I guess they had to Hollywood it up and that disappointed me greatly. I can't say I was surprised but I sure was disappointed.


Well, I guess that's about it. I need to wash the dishes and go watch The D-List. Ms. Bastard-Beloved? You hate that show, right? Is it you that hates that show? Well, I can't help it. I love it.
But I'll never try to make you watch it. I promise.


Okay, okay. One more thing. No. Two more.
My son Hank has an image blog and I love that thing. He finds the most interesting pictures you can possibly imagine and then captions them with great charm. Go visit that here if you haven't. He covers the sacred, the profane and the simply hysterical. It's a very fun site.

And my daughter May just wrote a post about walking which I think everyone in the damn country should read because it makes so much sense and says everything about walking I've ever thought but never was able to express. That would be here.


And that's it. That's the end. Except for this:

Well, that's an end too. A mighty cute little hind end. Or as Mr. Moon's mother might have said, a tee-tiny tee-hiney.

She had a way with words.

I'd gotten tired of changing Owen's diaper today. I had him in cloth and it seemed like he was peeing about every fifteen minutes so I just took his diaper off for awhile and let him go commando. I don't think he even noticed. But I got some good pictures.

See you tomorrow. Sleep well. Sweet dreams. Etc.


  1. It is weird that blackberry season is over here and yet you have plenty of them. I would have thought that it would have been the reverse. Blackberry cobbler is awesome!

  2. I had something to say about something or other but then you posted a photo of those chubby little legs and that amazingly adorable bottom and I'm all lost and confused.....Oh yeah blackberries, there used to be acres of wild blackberries growing all over the place in my mom's neighborhood, but they are all gone....I have no idea what happened.....They are just gone. We used to pick them and trade them in at the local ice cream shop and get free concretes and ice cream treats all summer long.

  3. Your Whatevers post was a satisfying smorgasbord! Where you can come back for more when you need more.
    Great description of the Costco experience. And when you wrote "frenzied raccoon" I had this image of everyone in your family with blackberry stains all over the mouth post-hurricane.

  4. If I may speak to the whack Catholic topic for a moment: one of the nicest things about being even nominally Catholic is that I do believe this: The Mind of God cannot be reduced to human comprehension, which means We Almost Certainly Don't Get It, and it's almost certain that the almightly consciousness, or power, or whatever one calls it has an Inherent Sense of Humor. But of course the dumbasses aren't beaurocratically smart enough to let people like me run the organization because we're women (and in my case, because all we have is A Voice, however limited it might be), so there's that. Was that too much for a blog comment? I'm sorry if it was. Love, love!

  5. 1. I love baby butts
    2. Now I have to check out Costco. I'm at the point where all the shit is the same so I might as well go to the cheapest source. Sigh

    3.Picking wild blackberries and eating your chicken's eggs and garden veggies and Mr.Moons fish and venison totally balance out the Costco thing.
    just sayin'

    4. I love the idea of the Church of the Chicken Shit Crazy

    5. I love you

  6. God, I love the block feet of babies. Owen has some good ones.

    And I hate both Costco and Walmart -- I get what you're talking about, but out here in LA the whole experience of Costco is a nightmare that is just not redeemed by the delicious items offered.

    And I love Advanced Style -- I haven't been in a while but will check it out again. And I'll also check out your son's work --

    And your May is astounding. Truly.

  7. Oh, yeah. Crazy Heart. I was glad to read your critique. I thought it was mediocre at best. I do love that Jeff Bridges, but the actress who played the woman drives me crazy --

  8. So you'll be having your hot flashes in the Costco cold room from now on I take it?

    What a jam packed post.

    I wonder if Christianity saved more lives or got more people killed? I'm all for Christian democracy and peace values - but ... civil wars... crusades... the Inquisition..

  9. Syd- Really? Your blackberries are done? Our dewberries are long gone but the blackberries are still havin' at it.

    Rebecca- Around here people cut them down if they use the property for anything at all because they're so fierce. Could that be it?
    And uh, what's a "concrete"?

    Michele R- I had the same image about us and the raccoons!

    Angie C- Of course that was a comment. And a fine one! Love you, dear.

    Michelle- Batshit, chickenshit. They have different connotations don't they? Well, whatever.
    I love you to PIECES! And thanks for saying that about the balancing act. One would hope.

    Elizabeth- Well, I would imagine that in LA you have choices that put Costco to shame, shame, shame. We're here in North Florida. Big difference. I think you'll like Hank's blog. I do. And I agree with you about Crazy Heart. It was not as good as the book but Jeff Bridges was perfect. That was what I thought.

    Jo- Whenever I go into that cold room I wish I could use up one of my hot flashes in there. I do.
    I'm pretty sure religion has gotten more people killed and mentally deranged than not. But that's just me.

  10. I am a Costco boycotter because that lone tree they didn't butcher just pisses me off too much. And I'm proud to say that I haven't been in "the Walmarts" as my friend's mother calls it in 2 years.

    Now Target is another story. I just love Target. And Sam's. Okay, so I know Sam's IS the Walmarts, but but but. . . I'm a hypocrite.

    Hank's blog is amazing. And I love the fact that you have to go through that content warning every time. Danger!!!

  11. Jucie- You were making me feel REALLY guilty until the Sam's thing. So- I appreciate that. But Target- why do we all love Target so damn much? I have to admit though, that since their nursery went to shit I am not as in love with it. I used to find the oddest plants there for cheap. I loved that! Now- blech.

  12. I have noticed that about Target's nursery, but I have gotten so attached to Tallahassee Nurseries that I don't miss Target's. I think heaven probably looks like Tallahassee Nurseries. Except heaven would be WAYYYY less expensive. I really have to restrain myself there or else we'd be in the poor house.

  13. Now, that's a cute butt. My boyfriend has one, too. I know--that's more than you needed to know. I share. It's my nature.

    Yes, Kathy Griffin drives me nuts. I think she is so not funny and obnoxious. But I like her better than Lady Gaga, who Jerry Seinfeld called an idiot. He's smart, that Seinfeld.

    Love you!

  14. Jucie- How can I help but totally agree about Tallahassee Nurseries? And yes, it is costly. I just don't even go there very often because whenever I do, I spend at least a hundred dollars.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- NEVER TMI when it comes to boyfriend's butts. Well, okay, there could be. But not from you.
    I don't know one damn thing about Lady Gaga. She sprouted into my consciousness like a mushroom- fully formed overnight. Who IS she? Is she a singer? NPR doesn't discuss her as far as I know.

  15. Jucie, I think that is my favorite thing anyone has said about my blog. Danger! What can I say, I like nekkid people.

    Mama: I made crockpot bbq pork last night, and Owen ate about half of it. Seriously, Lily had to race to get some of her own sandwich, what with all the pointing and hooting!

  16. DTG- Thanks! I'll be the one to clean up the stinky pork poop. Grrrr....
    He's a hungry boy, that Owen. Have you seen him eat hummus? Jesus.
    I think he's spending the night tonight. Lily and Jason both close and I think they're just going to come sleep here. I'm excited! Slumber party!

  17. Sorry about the poop! But you should have seen him eat that pork. Lily said, "I think I could just give him a turkey sandwich and he'd eat it."

  18. Gaga is a noodle-brained zombie singer with poor fashion taste and shit for brains. You ought to see her dumb ass in an interview. She's practically monosyllabic.

  19. Costco has a magnetic pull on my wallet. I no longer have a membership but my mom does and she calls me from their aisles to tell me what I need...

    Thanks for the smacksy hey-hey. The

    (And over here we call those baby buns poppin-fresh-dinner-rolls.)

  20. shopping at costco is what morally responsible consumers MUST do. for every dollar you spend there, it's one less dollar being spent at FAILMART or SCAM'S CLUB.

    i love blackberries. we had a good 1000 feet of bushes behind where i grew up and i remember being in the brambles with a tupperware square quart container that never got all the way filled.


  21. Costco is fine, I guess, but not being much of a cook, I don't quite use the membership like a normal person would. Or, I should say, I DO eat, just not like a normal person. Stupid diets ;)


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