Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Adventures In Babysitting

Damn. It's been an exciting day in Lloyd. I mean- TWO BABIES!

And then there was the snake in the hen house. That damn snake. It's the same one. He keeps coming back and he's eating my eggs! I only collected two eggs the other day and I wondered what in hell was going on. Well, it's an egg-eatin' oak snake and that son-of-a-bitch is pissing me off.
Lily and the boys and I were outside feeding the chickens and before we went in we went to get eggs and there he was, draped over the laying boxes like he owned the joint.

He's a handsome fellow but come on! Eat rats, ya damn bastard and leave my eggs alone!

Lily, for some reason, transformed before my eyes into Zena, Warrior Princess, handed me Owen and grabbed the pitchfork. She opened the little door at the back of the box and pushed him out with the handle of the pitchfork; meanwhile, I stood there not believing she was doing it. She WAS going to grab him with a gloved hand ("I see this all the time on the Discovery Channel- I can do it!") but when glove came to snake, she opted not to.

I was stunned that she did what she did but I shouldn't have been. Lily is a force of nature.

After the snake dropped out of the box Lily coaxed him into heading back into the woods. He'll be back, dammit. I know he will. Either Mr. Moon is going to have to get him in some sort of container and carry him to a distant place or else he's going to have to kill him and I don't really want him to do that. Snakes like that one are not a threat to humans and are lovely in their snake way.
But he cannot keep stealing my eggs. No way.
As Lily once said here when a bat was flying around the bathroom as she was trying to get ready to go to work at 5 a.m., "Too much nature!"
Sometimes it feels that way, anyway.

The yellow flies are driving me insane.

I did not take that picture and I won't be posting a picture I personally took because I'm not letting one of those motherfuckers stay on me long enough to focus. They bite and take blood like a mosquito but their stings swell and itch enough to drive me insane (short drive, Mr. Moon would say) and one is torturing me this very instant. She already bit me twice. Again, like mosquitoes, only the females bite.
Frankly, I'd rather have a snake near me than a yellow fly. I'm not even kidding you.

Anyway, we had a great time with the boys. Owen and Waylon seem to be amused by each other and try to grab at each other's faces. They go straight for the eyes. I have no idea why. Waylon is a happy boy, like Owen and fairly easily amused. He went down for a nap around three and when his mama got here at four, she found us asleep together in the guest room.

We were both tired, even though I hadn't done a damn thing all day long.
Like I said, we did go out and feed the chickens. Here's a picture of Miss Penny who was getting real close and personal with me. She WANTS those grapes and she is not kidding!

She was IN MY FACE! So I took her picture.

And here's a picture of Jessie with both boys.

You can see that Owen is keeping an eye on Waylon. "That's MY Mean Aunt Jessie," he is probably thinking. He's almost all well now except for a bit of huskiness to his voice which is actually quite charming. He's sort of the Demi Moore of babies now. He's back to being the boss of every one, especially his grandmother. He took a dive backwards off the bed today but I miraculously stuck out a foot and gently broke his fall. He was pissed off but not hurt.

And now I suppose I better do a chore or two. Like- wash the breakfast dishes. I mean, it's time to start thinking about dinner.

It's been a good day. I tell you. When Jessie came in she found Lily and me, sitting in the Glen Den eating meatloaf sandwiches and watching Wife Swap and playing with the babies. I mean really- it doesn't get much better than that. And then- a nap with a baby?! Well. Nothing better.

A hot summer day with babies and snakes and meat loaf sandwiches and some of my kids and now it even looks like it might rain.

Yeah. I'm a lucky woman.

I better go wash those dishes.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Uh. Meatloaf sandwiches? Good thing the rest of your post was so lovely or I might have gagged right there. :)

  2. Stephanie- Made me happy too.

    Kori- Okay. So now besides the snake and spider warnings I should put up meatloaf sandwich warnings?

  3. I love the head to head baby pic. And Jessie is so beautiful. That's picture is just gorgeous, the epitome of youth and beauty in auntie form! Look at the way the boys have their hands resting casually on her boobs! I love it!

    I have no helpful snakelore, I'm afraid. You all know about St Patrick...

  4. "short drive"? Oh, that Mr. Moon is so funny! Still chortling on that.

  5. Jo- I think that part of Jessie's charm with babies are those bosoms.

    NOLA- Ha! Someone caught it, anyway!

  6. Ha! The Demi Moore of babies.

    Can you snake-proof the coop?

  7. That snake was out of this world insanely huge! Wow.

    I think if I saw a snake like lot outside of a zoo I would pee my pants and then collapse and maybe never wake up.

    Or something like that.

  8. Okay Mrs Moon, I love your blog, but I'm starting to think you don't like me and are trying to scare me off or something, is that what you're trying to do? Seriously, I'm phobic of snakes!!!

    Please......PLEASE just put (Snake Photo!) in your title so I just know to skip over that one post??? Please?

    You lured me in with 'aahhh cute babies!".....then AAAHHHH!H!!!!! Snake!!!!!

  9. Lopo- It was. Hello, you!

    DTG- Nope. Can't do it. Especially when the door's open all day but he could squeeze in through the wire, I'm sure.
    Hey- Saturday morning! We're going to the river! Yay!

    Erin- So you sayin' you ain't a country gal?

    Rebecca- I will try to remember. I'm sorry. I never meant to scare you, girl.

  10. A wonderful day. Those two boys are going to be life-long friends.

    Thank you Ms. Moon for insisting on taking the snake on a "long drive". It's terrible he's eating your eggs but nature is nature and he is a beautiful guy. Now, it's time to get him moved to another county!

  11. I thought Lily was gonna stab that snake with the pitchfork!

    That's a big snake. Eeek

    This post made me giggle. A lot.

    And that Mean Aunt Jessie looks like she's getting meaner every day

  12. That snake makes my skin crawl!

    The boys are adorable, particularly that little Owen.

  13. i feel sick to my stomach from that big ole cold snake body!

  14. I hope that the snake gets translocated since he/she is harmless. I remove snakes from the property here--copperheads mostly, and let the good ones hang out. Rat snakes, black racers, king snakes are all good. And picking them up is just fine.
    Glad that you had a good day. The babies made me smile.

  15. My husband swears that wearing a baseball cap (any kind) will help with the yellow flies, so I wear one during "the season" when I walk the dawgs. He's a big hiker (plus he lived at the Co-Op with a wife - not me - and two kids without electricity and water for a while)so he's had his share of yellow fly communion. It does seem to help, but they're still bastards. I'm freakishly afraid of snakes but I'm with you - I'd take a snake over yellow flies any day.

  16. "too much nature"

    I love that .
    I think life is to much about having to live it you know,
    But it's what makes us alive, not the dark just faking it through.

    so snakes I suppose.

    small price for those babies.

    love to you, and I've missed a couple posts, will catch up... that life thing :)

  17. I have a renewed respect for Lily. Snakes are SO GROSS, and that one was really BIG. Barf. I won't mess with sweet Lily EVER.

    This just means that now Lily HAS TO surround me and protect me on the nature/group walk around Lloyd when I come to visit. Bitch is a valiant snake warrior and shit. This pussy yankee needs her protection!

    Jessie is adorable, as always. Jesus. Does she have to be so damn photogenic?

    Love to all of youse,


  18. I forgot to add that I LOVE meatloaf sandwiches with loads of Heinz ketchup. I am a ketchup snob. I will only eat the Heinz.

  19. OK that snake is freakishly big, but I wouldn't want him dead either. I've been seeing quite a few snakes in my yard this year--I almost stepped on one the other day!
    Sounds like you had another wonderful day--babies and meatloaf sandwiches--two of my favorite things!

  20. That Owen is so handsome! And the snake... well, I love a snake from a distance, behind glass or on a blog. But really. I call Babes over every time something like that happens to you, and I tell him look at that amazing window on another world.

  21. Really nothing better than spending a lazy afternoon with a couple of handsome, playful baby boys. And even though I'm never had a meatloaf sandwich it sounds delicious! I think I'll google the recipe up now. It's not a good idea to put off pregnancy cravings right?

  22. Mel's Way- We shall see if that happens!

    Michelle- Oh. If you only knew how mean she was! She is so mean she washed all the dogs and gave them their flea treatment. She is so mean she cleaned the bathroom by the kitchen. She is so mean she washed dishes. She is SO mean, that girl.

    Angie M- Aren't they gorgeous, these boys?

    Maggie May- I know. But they are beautiful too in their body-of-muscle-and-skin.

    Syd- I leave snakes alone but we cannot just have this one eating our lovely hen's eggs. NO!

    Jucie- My experience does not bear out your husband's words. I have been literally chased down the road by the nasty things while wearing a baseball cap. But if it works for him...

    deb- Ah. That life thing.

    Ms. Bastard-Beloved- Lily will have your back. And sigh. Jessie cannot seem to help it. And you will only find Heinz at our house. No problems there, dear.

    Lois- He's not so fat but he is long, that snake.

    Mwa- And does Babes sigh and say, "Oh. Not again!"?

    Cristal- Meatloaf sandwiches. Well, first you have to make a meatloaf. Then, the next day, you make a sandwich of the leftovers. That is all there is to it. Delicious!

  23. Sounds like a great day, except for the snake and flies. The snake pictures make me SHUDDER!


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