I Feel Bitchy

Oh so bitchy.
I feel bitchy and witchy and mean!

Seriously. I do.

Is that okay? Fuck it if it isn't.

And it's all just because of the heat and the fact that I worked in the garden yesterday when it was really too hot and too humid. Little rainstorms would come and I'd just keep working because the rain at least would cool things off but it never rained enough to help.
And it's because I'm a weird, crazy old woman who, every time she is reminded of her blessings, goes off the deep end with feeling like she doesn't deserve any of them.
And it's all adding up to one of those bitchy, witchy days.
I went to yoga. It was fine. I am not walking. As I said to Kathleen in an e-mail, if I walked today I would end up lying down on the path through the woods, just plain old dead and the vultures would get me and the snakes would crawl over me and I WOULD NOT CARE! So, no walk today although perhaps later this evening when it cools off some (haha!) I'll go see about some blackberries. Mr. Moon and I never did get around to that yesterday. After my gardening and his work on a car in the hot garage, we were DONE and drank beer and played cards and had dinner and went to bed.

So here are some things which are annoying me today just because I am already annoyed:

1. My neighbor's animals. On one side of me I have neighbors who keep a lot of animals. Goats, donkey's, horses, chickens, a turkey, two guinea hens, a myriad of dogs, etc. The smell from the yard has never bothered me. Sometimes it would get a bit...rich, but just nice old farmyard smell. But since they started adding to their chicken collection in a manner which I find to be frightening, the smell has grown to be just this side of intolerable. And what do you do? I'm afraid of that woman, frankly. She's tougher than nails and wrestles her beasts around like a yeoman. I'm not sure what a yeoman is, but she reminds me of one.
And as the heat and the chicken count over there mount, it is getting to the point where I can smell it all from my garden and it's not pleasant.

2. My hair. It is too long. I have to get some inches chopped off. I must! It gets soaking wet when I walk or work outside which I do every day of my life and since I keep it up it stays wet until I go to bed at night. Sweet, right? It's driving me crazy. If I don't do something I'm going to end up grabbing Mr. Moon's scissors and hair trimmer and cutting it all off and then setting the guard on the trimmer at zero.
I think Owen would be freaked out by the results and Mr. Moon would weep so I cannot let it get to that point.

3. My refrigerator. It is on its last legs, I am afraid. Even though it is set at the lowest setting, it is freezing everything in it. Including the eggs which break and are...frozen inside. You cannot put frozen almond milk on your morning twigs and berries. You can try but it doesn't work.
This is not really such a big deal. It would obviously be a much bigger deal if it wasn't getting anything cold and I know that. But still. It's annoying.

4. Hot flashes. I have nothing more to say about that except that honestly, one of these days I'm going to strip naked in a public place and jump into a freezer. They will find me naked wedged into the Kool Whip display. This will not be good.

5. Fatness. My own. I don't want to talk about that.

6. Dogs who shit and piss in the house. I want to KILL them with my bare hands. We no longer let Zeke sleep with us and this means I am getting NO pleasure from these dogs at all. Well, I do love old Pearl. Here is a picture which, if you look at closely, you can see Pearl in. Owen is feeding her from his high chair. I think he believes he is getting away with something. Pearl knows she's getting away with something.


7. Many other things which I cannot discuss here. Okay. Here's another one I can- Rush Gasbag Limbaugh got married for the fourth time and frankly, I can't understand how he ever managed to find ONE woman who would marry him, much less four. The first three obviously wised up and so will this one, eventually. But the thing which REALLY annoys me is that Elton John played at the reception. Really Elton? I know you got a million bucks for the gig (supposedly) but that rips it for you and me. Done. It was bad enough when you played a concert at Chichen Itza without doing the ceremony the Mayan holy men told you to do beforehand to appease the spirits of that sacred place and a part of the stage collapsed and three workers were injured. That was NOT RESPECTFUL but honestly- Rush Limbaugh?
Bite my ass.

Okay. That's enough. I need to go to town and that's annoying too. And I'm not seeing Owen today and that's REALLY annoying the hell out of me. That's probably my entire problem.
I miss my boy and I am certain he misses his grandmother.
Ah well. He'll probably survive.
And so will I.

Signing off in bitchiness....Ms. Moon