Hank's Birthday Day

I am the proud owner of three Ativan. Last night I was the proud owner of four but I took one and then two hours later I took an over-the-counter sleep aid.
This was because I have not been sleeping well and I was desperate.
Let me tell you something- that was a FINE combination. For the first night in about oh, a million years, I didn't wake up once. Well, I might have woken up with five or six hot flashes but I don't remember it if I did so IT DOESN'T COUNT!
My nurse practitioner is not a doler out of anti-anxiety medication. Oh, she'll prescribe an antidepressant but not those tiny pills that every one loves. When I was going through my worst, worst, WORST crippling anxiety she gave me a scrip for ten of them. Ten. That was two years ago.

I have to admit I have been a lawbreaker since then and traded various things like eggs for a few more. As in- I have probably taken Ativan on the average of one every three months for the past two years. I am not worried at this point about abusing that particular drug.

So it was wild and crazy of me to take an ENTIRE pill (I usually cut them in quarters) and squander it on sleep. But I did it. And it was awesome.

And today is a beautiful day and I am rested and I'm going to the grocery to get what we need for the island and then at one I take over care of Owen and then tonight we're all going to town to have grouper sandwiches to celebrate Hank's birthday. Thirty-four years ago RIGHT NOW I was probably on the floor of the hospital, squatting and pushing with the nurse laughing at me and saying, You better get up in this bed or you're going to have that baby on the floor," and me thinking, "So?" and I feel joyful that I was such an amazingly strong, fierce mama at the age of twenty-one, even though I did not know it then and suffered huge guilt for caving in and going to the hospital at all after twenty-eight hours of labor. Ha!

Happy Birthday, Hank My Boy. I hope you slept well. Your mother sure did.

I'll see you tonight and we will make merry and we will celebrate and your father and I will give each other a hug and look at you fondly and remember the two hippies we were, clueless but trying so hard, and here we all are! And isn't it grand?
Oh yes it is.
I am rested today and can let my heart be open to it all and here we go- one adventure after another, thirty-four years later and my son still blows me away and is completely and utterly his own self, no one else and I can appreciate that fact and the fact of who I was and what I did to get him here and well, I'm glad I got good sleep because it's going to be a long, beautiful day with the grandson and then the rest of the family, both sides, all sides, and we have a lot to celebrate because it is Hank's birthday. Hank- the wise and wonderful.

That's all.
Love...Ms. Moon