Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Not A Failure

I have no idea why, but the news of Al and Tipper Gore's marriage ending is making me so sad. I keep thinking about it. Not to the point of obsession, but still, a lot.
I suppose it's just sad when any long-time relationship breaks up. I felt similarly when Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon broke up. I felt it when John and Yoko broke up.
But they got back together.

"The separation was not a success," Lennon is said to have stated after his eighteen month "long weekend."
And they went on to make one of my favorite albums together, have a child together, make a life together, seem to be profoundly in love and grateful for every moment together.

But Al and Tipper. Jeez. I mean- forty years. And they'd been through so much. The dire accident of a son hit by a car, endless campaigns, the tragedy of the Supreme Court decision making Bush president. And throughout all of it they seemed to be so solid. So juicy. There was never any breath of a scandal, no whisper of an accusation of infidelity or problem. When Gore retired from public office, it seemed that they would go off together holding hands in their various interests and projects and have more time to spend with each other and with children and grandchildren.
It looked so good.
I hope it was. I hope it was good until it wasn't anymore and then I hope that things really did come to a logical and mutual ending. I hope no one is heartbroken although after forty years with a person, the end of the relationship has to be heartbreaking on some levels, at least.

And it ain't my business and I'm not going to conjecture anything here because I don't know one iota of a fact about their marriage or their lives. And none of us really knows anything about any one's marriage. Hell, it's hard to know the true and real facts of one's own marriage. People can come home one day, one perfectly normal day in a perfectly normal life and say, "I'm done," pack his or her bags and leave.

I do have to say that I hope neither Al nor Tipper see the marriage as a failure in any way.
They had a terrific partnership for many years and they raised their children and they did a lot of amazing things and it sure did look, at least from here, as if they enjoyed a lot of it.

I hope they did.

And I hope they can find peace in their hearts as they separate and go their own ways.

They deserve that, I think.


  1. It made me sad, too. I was just SHOCKED. Like, really? It's not a failure, but it's got to be so hard to live under such scrutiny for so long.

  2. You know, the more I see and read and all that, the less I believe that love is a real and true thing. Because if you can't make it work after 40 some years, well, I don't get that, I really don't. And I actually hope they are both miserable, but only because I am miserable. Which will pass, right?

  3. So sad -- but I don't think they lost a son. Their boy was hit by a car and suffered a traumatic brain injury, many years ago, but he's fine, now. At least I think so. Edwards and Edwards lost their son -- is that who you're thinking of?

  4. Aunt Becky- It is rather shocking. I know.

    Kori- Yes. Some day. You will not be miserable some day. I hope it's soon, too.

    Elizabeth- Damn! You're right! I'm going to amend that and fire my fact checker. Thanks, honey.

  5. My jaw was on the floor when I read this. I wonder if they finally slowed down and noticed they had nothing to say to each other.

    How sad.

  6. He found a cause. A life-consuming cause. It's hard to compete with saving the planet, when you'd really just like to have a barbeque with the family. He is not the same person he was 10 years ago. Sad as it is, I can understand it. I believe they just got too far apart, on so many levels. I'm willing to lay odds that they are and will remain, friends.

  7. Hell, it's hard to know the true and real facts of one's own marriage.


    Don't really know much about either of them, but your post was a lovely thoughtful one....makes me feel guilty about my mean comments a couple of months ago about Tiger Woods and the crazy golf club smashed windscreen rescue....

  8. I wonder about it too. Can love last?

  9. I feel the same way. They were one of those couples that you saw, and then thought, man, marriage can work. It gave me some hope.
    Definitely makes me sad :(

  10. Sad if a marriage fails after 40 years... They must have had things wrong, or you would not bother to separate after so long...
    I still believe in love and lasting relationships though... does not matter if they are married or not.
    In Europe of course, we don't have that big of a clue about Gore. I wished he would have been president over Bush, but that fish did not bake...

  11. After so many years, you can just get sick of the other person. Or, at least in my case, that's what happened.

  12. Yup, their son was badly injured, but he didn't die. Either way, it is a sad story all around and I was shocked too.

    BTW...I am home to DC now.

  13. Nancy C- Perhaps.

    Sandra- You may very well be right.

    Screamish- Well. The Tiger Woods marriage- that's a different story entirely, I would think.

    Syd- Better minds than I have wrestled with that one. I think it can but I think it is as rare as black diamonds.

    Corinne- Well, it worked for a long, long time.

    Photocat- "That fish did not bake." And what a different world we would now live in if it had.

    Lucy- I guess.

    SJ- Waiting for your report. I hope all went well.

  14. You said exactly what I've been feeling. It makes me sad, too, about them and about Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. I hope all of them will be OK.

  15. There is always more to these things than we hear. I hope it means someone finally gets some chance at being the happy they weren't able to be. Or that it was some deal breaker , and while sad , is what it is.
    It seems like those old marriages, where they stay together only for the kids, and then when it looks like the business can run itself , they retire and move on.


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