Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Sigh...


Today has been an almost ludicrously non-productive day for me. First off, I slept way too late and had dreams that flattened me like the medical professionals want to flatten that curve, left me gasping and completely disoriented. I tried to come back to "real life" but somehow "real life" just wasn't doing it for me today. I'm not reading every piece of news that comes up but enough to know that Trump and some Republicans are ready, willing, and perhaps even able to sacrifice a few million people for the sake of the economy, especially if those people are us grandparent types.
Think of what that would do for the funeral industry alone!
Well.
#NotDying4WallStreet
As the old people are saying on that there Twitter.

And Trump wants the churches full for Easter! Hold on there, Big Boy! Your man Jesus has been dead and resurrected for over 2,000 years. I think we can hold off on the annual celebration for a little while. Do your praying, egg-hunting, and chocolate bunny eating at home! And we all know he doesn't give a gold-plated crap about who is or isn't in church. He just wants the stores and factories and highways humming along again with people buying shit and using petroleum products and booking flights to anywhere and if some people drop dead well- whatever! It's the economy, stupid!
You know what I think? I honestly believe that he thinks that if the economy picks up and the stock market starts making it's way back up that he'll be re-elected. So fuck what the experts say and fuck what they've experienced in other countries and fuck what it means to lose a loved one and/or fear for one's own life and LIFT THOSE RESTRICTIONS!

Okay. This isn't doing my blood pressure one bit of good.

So this morning we took the preteen chicks out to the baby coop in the big coop. As you can see in the picture above. This is always a happy moment for me, introducing the chicks to dirt and fresh air and sunshine and breezes and a little more room to roam. Plus, the grown flock can meet and become acquainted with the younger ones so that when they do blend, it will be easier and less stressful for all concerned. I pulled up a few bolting, spent, wormy plants from the garden and put them in the little coop with them to give them a project and extra nutrition.
The little ones are doing fine.


My favorite thing to see is when one of them spreads out a tiny feathered wing in a nice stretch under the light. They chirp, chirp, chirp constantly which if they're being raised by a mama and not by a human, allows the mother to know where each and every baby is at all times. She, too, chirps almost constantly so that they will know where she is. It's a good system. 

Hive location report: Today, being a bit stressful, hives began raising and itching early on. Mostly on the legs. Behind the left knee and on the left side of the right knee. This fascinates me. How does my body decide where on the skin to show its unhappiness with my present state of anxiety? I do not know. But I'm grateful that it's always a place I can get to to scratch. 

Besides baby chicken-tending, I haven't done one damn thing except to make the bed and cut out my dress. The way this is going I should have it done by Easter in case I want to  wear it to church. 


Hahahaha! 
Easy if you're not completely unable to focus, think, or have the attention span of a mosquito. I swear. I don't even KNOW what I do all day. Try to do a crossword. Go check on the chicks. Scroll Facebook. Make our lunch. Try the crossword again. Check chicks. Pee. Drink water. Refill Yeti with ice and water. Crossword. Facebook. Load dishwasher, put in soap, set it, forget to press "Start." 
Etc.
Etc. 
Etc. 

Today and tomorrow are the days that Publix has designated as senior days with special hours. Or, actually, hour, which starts at 7:00 a.m. Well, fuck that. I want (not need, want) to go out tomorrow and get some things there and at Costco and I NEED to pick up my hormones at the compounding pharmacy. Costco doesn't open until 10:00 and fuck if I'm going to be lined up at Publix before the sun rises, only to have to sit in my car and wait until the other places I need to go are open. 
I'm such a rebel. 

Tonight's supper will be a lovely split-pea soup with garden carrots and greens, a tiny bit of bacon for seasoning, onions, celery, garlic, potatoes, and so forth. Also, a tropical fruit salad because I have mangos that need eating as well as some formerly fresh pineapple which is getting less fresh by the second. And strawberries. Maybe a banana. Like a smoothie but not pureed. In a dish. That you eat with a fork. Or spoon. Or your fingers. 
I am fairly trembling with excitement. Hell, I might throw a little flaked coconut in there! We'll call it dessert. 

Okay. I will also mention that it has been another beautiful day here. The breeze has been strong, the sky has been blue. Suddenly the wisteria is more leaf than blossom. I am grateful for all of that. I am also grateful that my husband and I are getting along nicely. The first few days I was a little worried but it didn't take long for us to rub the rough edges off and settle into a comfortable, close companionship. I am so lucky. I hope that he feels that he is lucky too. 

Off to stir the soup and cut up mangos! 

I am so, so grateful for all of you. I KNOW I'm not alone but you all make me feel that in my bones. 
And heart. 

So. 

Love...Ms. Moon








36 comments:

  1. Well, Mary, those strawberries will add a little pop of color to your dessert! Bwahahaha. Ha.

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    1. You are bad, Dianne. But yes. Yes they did.

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  2. Dear Lord Mary Moon! WTH is wrong with him????? I know, he's an a**h**e for sure. He needs to be taken to a hospital in NYC. Pick one, any one, throw a dart for God's sake. Let him see what is really happening. Let him go down to the morgue and see the bodies stacking up. Also, please, don't let him wear any protective clothing. Not even a mask ......... Thank you, I feel better now. (Not really) Bobbie DeWitt

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    1. Oh my. I am here in New York and believe me there are quite a few of us who would like to see him at say,Columbia Presbyterian without a mask. I never knew I was capable of such horrid thoughts but he will kill many many folks.

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    2. Well, I tell you what- I seriously doubt the man is going to go visit the sick anywhere. With or without protective gear. He's not only an idiot and a fool and a narcissist, he's also a coward.

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  3. That food sounds excellent. And those chicks are growing like, well, chicks. Baby birds are amazing for fast growth. One minute tiny little dots, next feathers. Interesting for little kids because they can see growth.

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    1. It's true. They can change overnight. Quite literally.

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  4. I'm anxious to shelter at home for a few days. They're working on getting my group set up for telecommuting soon. We'll make it

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    1. I hope so, Jon! I'm glad you won't have to be going into work.

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  5. I put split peas on my list for my next grocery trip. And a couple of carrots. And a few potatoes. So happy to have a store that sells stuff loose.Except, I have not been there since this kerfuffle broke loose, and I need a lot of stuff.

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    1. Get it done now before the rate of infection goes through the roof. Be safe.

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  6. My anxiety is at a lifetime high. And my close friends are in the same boat. We discuss our anxiety and how to survive frequently these days. Yesterday just about did me in with DT saying he wants to get things back to normal real soon. MFer. Stupidest man ever.

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    1. Has no one told him that after all this (if there is an after-all-this) there's going to be a new normal? Probably they have. He just won't believe it. I'm sorry about your anxiety. Are you able to get a little exercise? That does help.

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  7. Reading this blog is the absolute highlight of my day. Especially now. Thank you for easing my anxiety with your daily words of wisdom. You don't know how much you mean to us.

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    1. Thank you, Jean. I don't know that I have any wisdom. Just relating what I'm feeling and thinking. And that helps me.

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  8. The Orange Menace has made most of his money in the Hospitality Industry so he'd Love to get Bailed Out with the Stimulus he's arranging as his Notes get called Due by the Foreign Banks he owes a shitload to! He's been Bankrupt before, so just trying to avoid Bankrupting yet another bunch of holdings at the Taxpayers expense and I Believe Nancy is on to that and wants some checks and balances in place and transparency. There will be so many exceptions as to who WON'T Qualify for the paltry amount they're tossing to the Average Person that I don't expect a Penny and many won't receive it, due to 'Disqualifying Factors' that will be Laundry List long. He's had Conflict of Interest so often while holding Office that he's not even trying to pretend he isn't abusing his Position and Power. After all, his rabid Base would follow him right off the Cliff as he wrecks the Economy and collapses the Medical System to prematurely reboot things against all of the Expert Advice that says it will be catastrophic if he does. I'm afraid each and every one of us is on our own...

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    1. Oh. I know you're right. All of the Republicans, with him at the helm, want to protect their own rich people interests. Meanwhile, everyone else gets a token check. Maybe. It's sickening.

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  9. This blog is a daily comfort to me. Thank you for that.

    I know it's wrong to wish illness on anyone, even someone who's evil, but WHY can't 45 catch this virus? If anyone deserves it, he does.

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  10. I hope your hives just go away and don't come back. But I understand, we all have so much working on our nerves these days. I'm about to grind my teeth to bits but I refuse to wear my mouthguard 24 hours a day. I hate that thing.

    Thank you for your kind words last night. Kind words right now mean a lot.

    I wish for you peaceful and happy dreams!

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    1. I think I've started grinding my teeth at night again. Have you tried gum in the daytime? Might help. It helped a friend of mine.
      We need to be especially kind right now, don't we? All of us. Take care, Jill. We'll get through this.

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  11. Your assessment of King Donald's response to The Virus is eerily astute and indeed accurate. Surely some of the numbskulls who have hitherto supported this big egotistical lump will now see that he is not true president material. His ignorance is breathtaking. Imagine how Barack Obama would be comforting the people right now - making wise decisions based on human compassion rather than selfish thoughts around re-election.

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    1. I absolutely DO imagine what it would be like with Obama in charge. So very, very different. And it makes me cry. This is surely one of the worst outcomes to be imagined as to the last election.

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  12. I'm having a hard time focusing too. At work I've asked the younger nurses, they're all younger, to keep an eye on me, that if I make a mistake, to please let me know. I open the fridge and have no idea why. I had no compassion for a patient yesterday. She was like a petulant child who has walked away from treatment multiple times in the past and now it's an emergency. We accommodated her and she then refused to have the central line, once she was on the table. I understand that she's scared and I am sure that she has trauma in her background but yesterday I could only think that she was being a bitch. God help me.

    I'm glad you have your chicks and Mr. Moon and your garden. Sending love and hugs and no, you're not alone and your writing reminds me that I'm not alone either. Thank you so much sweetie.

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    1. Understandably, you are probably becoming burned out. I don't know what the answer would be to that in this case but you were wise to ask the younger nurses to keep an eye out. It would probably be a good thing for everyone to do the same for all. Even the young are going to be having these same problems if they don't already.
      We are not alone. Any of us.
      Thank YOU.

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  13. Hello Ms Moon. I hope today is much better for you. Your new little chicks are so adorable. We saw a guy mailing off chicks at the post office yesterday. Had NO idea people could do that. As for our prez...does he really think $1000 would be enough or is that a kiss ass technique to win another election??

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    1. Yes, you can mail chicks. I can't imagine that it's very good for them but people have been doing it for a very long time. Chicks are a lot hardier than they look.
      I don't know what Trump thinks. My mind won't even wrap itself around an attempt. But whatever the most self-serving thing is, that's probably what he's thinking.

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  14. All those currently hoping to run for President are exactly the generation that he wouldn't mind sacrificing in the name of "the economy" - and that generation includes himself, whether he likes it or not. Although I'm pretty sure he sees himself as some young stud, bad combover notwithstanding!

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    1. Not only a young stud but also immortal.
      He's so wrong on both counts.

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  15. It's so ironic that we're having this international crisis, and at the same time we're having beautiful, amazing spring weather. These things do not go together. Although the second helps (slightly) with coping with the first.

    You're exactly right about Trump -- he thinks he can gin up the economy again and get it humming in time for his re-election. He seems to forget that people whose relatives die from coronavirus ALSO vote.

    I actually bought toilet paper today! I was so excited.

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    1. The weather does seem not to fit with what's going on but you're right- it does help to cope. I see ads on TV and it's like they're from a different universe.
      So glad you got toilet paper. It's a comfort!

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  16. Your chickies are sweet little nuggets, fluffy distractions. Can not think too much about this pandemic really, just be careful and don[t breathe...the orange gas bag handing out easter eggs of Rona seems appropriate to his nature. MUTHAHFUGGAH

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    1. "Don't breathe."
      I feel like I haven't taken a real breath in months.
      He is a motherfucker. Without a doubt.

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  17. Please tell me how you are dealing with your daughter being a nurse. My nurse daughter is relating true horror stories at her hosp. I won't go into details, its too gory, but please tell me how to cope with the fear and worry.

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    1. Jessie works with postpartum mothers and babies so her exposure isn't as bad as it could be. I have no idea how I'd deal with it if she was in another part of the hospital. I'm so sorry, Sue. My favorite coping mechanism is denial and I don't think that's going to work for you. I wish with all my heart I had an answer. Hang in there, mama.

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  18. been like summer the last two days...hot and humid. Marc turned on the AC yesterday. in March! you are right on about Trump. he's bored. the media keeps saying mean things about him. he wants an adoring crowd at a rally. he's bored. the pandemic is boring.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.