Sunday, March 24, 2019

Another One Of Those Sundays

Maurice watching The Great British Bake-Off. As I said to a neighbor today, so many series on Netflix trigger such yucky things that I don't want to think about but all the Bake-Off triggers is a desire to eat baked goods. 

I have been so frustrated today. To the point of anger. And you know what? I have no reason for this frustration. I WANT to be angry at my husband but honestly, all he's done is spend the day under the house working on getting the plumbing set up for the laundry room which is hardly like spending the day in a sports bar or bordello or something. So it's ridiculous for me to focus my anger on him and I know that. I KNOW THAT!
I don't know what's going on. If I were a younger woman, I'd think I was premenstrual but that's something I will never be able to blame a horrid mood on again.
Maybe I'm just overwhelmed with everything and adding on not having water for an entire afternoon and having to stick close to the center of laundry-room-creating-operations in order to go and hold a pipe which is sticking out of the floor while my husband does something mysterious to it from where he's laying on his back on the ground which meant I got NOTHING DONE just kicked me off the edge.
I don't even know what I think I'd have gotten done if I'd had the chance. And frankly, I did get August's dress finished.

I believe we shall call this the "happy camper" dress. It's going to swamp him and by next week it'll be too hot for him to wear anyway.
So, yeah. That was a huge, big deal.

I am wondering if part of the reason I'm feeling this way is because it would appear that the Mueller report contains no smoking guns, no flaming flares, no reason for White House security to get out their handcuffs. I swear to you- I could curse the paint off a wall right now. A motherfucking, cocksucking wall.

I just Facebook unfollowed someone I've known in real life for about thirty years because he wrote this as a comment under a video of an ABC news report about the Mueller report:

Now investigste (sic) the real criminals and America haters...obama, hitlery, pelosi, and a few others on the list.

Here's the weird thing- I thought I knew this guy. He's never been in the military, he's lived the sex, drugs, and rock and roll lifestyle. He loves and truly cares for animals more than anyone I've ever known. Hell, he worked at the local food coop! He is a kind man. I've only seen him treat women with true respect. And yet...
And herein lies the fucking goddam conundrum- aren't we supposed to be able to push aside our differences when someone we know and whom we've always cared for expresses a political opinion with which we very much disagree? Yes. Yes we are. But the divide created by this particular president and his followers is so stark and so sharply defined that I just can't bring myself to ignore that. It's not possible! Not for little ol' unenlightened me.
It's like, "So really? All this time you thought it was cool to talk about women as if they're objects here for nothing more than male satisfaction and enjoyment? And that you really don't see anything wrong with white nationalism? And that you really don't care about the environment or freedom of the press or, or... THE TRUTH?"
The strangest thing about this particular instance is that this man is, himself, the son of immigrants who fled their beloved country because of a dictator.
Go figure. I can't. So I just unfollowed him.
Ooh. Aren't I a brave woman?
No. No I am not.

Okay. That's enough of that. It's only adding to my frenzy of weirdness and bad attitude.
Now my husband has gone to the hospital to visit our friend. How can I be angry at a man like that?
And I'm not.
I think I'm just really tired of not feeling as if I have any autonomy. I probably need a good few days spent entirely alone because that is the way I am made. When the friends of Mr. Moon were here from Chicago, the wife asked me if I was ever afraid to be here by myself. I think this was after she realized that this house has seven doors that access the outside. Or, alternately, the inside.
"No," I told her. "I love being alone and I'm not afraid at all."
Which is the honest to god truth.

Jesus. The chickens are having a very difficult time going to roost tonight. So much fussing and flapping. I wonder what's going on. I think they're still working out the blending of the hens into all being part of Liberace's flock.

One more picture of Maurice.

Vergil and August dropped by this morning with things Mr. Moon needed for the plumbing project and while they were here, I read August one of our favorite books, "Pickles The Fire Cat." It's about a cat named Pickles of course, who has a reputation of being a very bad cat but one lady named Mrs. Goodkind realizes that he is NOT a bad cat, he just needs something BIG to do. 
August and I discussed how perhaps that is Maurice's problem as well. She just needs to find greater meaning in her life but neither one of us could figure out what that might be. August would probably be very glad for her to go live in a fire station somewhere quite far from here and be a fire cat like Pickles. But I do love that crazy cat and besides, she chose to live here and when a cat picks your house as a place to make her home, there's not much you can do except to buy Friskies. Or, the Publix brand equivalent. And provide cozy sleeping places where the cat feels safe and secure. And keep Band-Aids close at hand for any and all bloody attacks. 

That's pretty much all I even pretend to think I know tonight. 

Be well, y'all. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Wait - what? The hens are now all in Liberace's flock? Did the jungle fowl rooster get voted off the island?
    I'm totally depressed about the Mueller report and the fact that the US Marshals are not converging on the White House to arrest them all.

    1. The jungle fowl roosters (there were six) got, uh, transitioned into chicken heaven. The hens are SO happy. And Liberace is doing his best to create order and peace while protecting the flock.
      Me too on the report. Godfuckingdammit. (Sorry if this offends you.)

    2. Not offended one bit. I have been saying that and worse.
      Here's hoping Liberace can bring peace to the valley.

  2. Sounds like it is time to put your feet up with a favorite beverage and make it an early night...

  3. I am with you,I even posted that Maybe god did send the Rump, as the godly GOP claim- that christian god who is such a psychopath really would do such a thing, just to add to his greatest tricks. I am despondent and cranky.

  4. Sigh. If I hadn’t just spent over a week in Mexico, I’d want to crawl into a hole and die.

  5. As to the friend you unfollowed....most of my friends who spew such crap on FB got deleted or unfollowed right after the election because I just CAN'T. Hitlery? How about Killery? Or (my personal least favorite) "libtards". I can't read the comments on local news FB stories anymore because it's full of that shit and it makes me so mad and disgusted. As far as the Mueller report, I want to see the whole thing and not just a cliffs notes version put out by Trump's henchman Barr. I'm at the point that I don't even care anymore if criminal Trump gets indicted; I just want him to go away. If I never had to hear his name again or see his face that would be good enough for me.

  6. America needs a new slogan.

    Make America care again. Make America kind again.

    We all need that. tRump wins when he makes us angry. He's no different than a terrorist. He's bringing out the hate in people.

    I take Maurice is a scratcher. My Bagheera, or dirt bag as I like to call her is a biter. She's sweet as pie and purring and then she bites me. Offends me every time.

  7. Oh Mary, I so understand you. I wish I could come and work out some of my frustration with the outcome of the Muller investigation by kicking your bamboo. But here's where I'm confused: If the report didn't find anything and exonerates everyone as AG Barr essentially says, then why can't they release the whole report. Not even Congress has seen it, which is ridiculous. I think I am getting very close to needing another complete news blackout. And what that person said on Facebook is appalling. Honestly, any person who can't see that Obama was a decent human being and public servant, regardless of what you might and might not have agreed with in his polices, is seriously lacking on discernment, and no one can convince me otherwise. On a happier note, August is going to love that happy camper dress. And I love that discussion you both had about Maurice needing something BIG to do. I just have a feeling it could have been one of the pivotal conversations in a child's life, a moment when they understand something a bit more about our time together in this earth school. Love you so.

  8. I can't even go on social media anymore. not FB or Twitter or even read the news. it's just too damn depressing and angry making. Mueller did bring plenty of criminals to justice but I don't think what Barr says is the truth and until Congress gets hold of the report or someone leaks it, we... there must be bad stuff in it if Barr is holding it so close to the vest. Be that as it may, we are stuck with Trump til the end of his term and I have no faith that he won't get reelected. this country is circling the drain. the world world is circling the drain. all I can do is try and nurture and love while I am still here and work myself into exhaustion.

    7 doors? I have three to the outside. the city house had four but that was because it had been made into a duplex during WWII. I really want to see your house.

  9. I read an opinion that shut me down. The opinionater, a liberal whose name I of course do not remember, said that unless the economy fails, the man will be reelected. Our black hearts simply don't learn and improve. It's like fucking Buchanan and slavery, or Johnson and reconstruction. They leave Nixon in the dust, but this crook leads them all. Having it in the air and trying to breathe and exist are more and more difficult. Two Douglas high school students have killed themselves. I think the world is the reason we are working our bodies so hard.

  10. I read Pickles the Fire Cat when I was little and my mother read it to my daughter when she was little. A good story about trying to see the best in others. But maybe not people who compare Hillary Clinton to Hitler.

  11. Hooboy, I hear you. That “synopsis” from Barr. No further indictments. I simply can’t think about that family of lying grifters without rage building. I need to go lie down with half an Ambien. Wish I had some bamboo to kick. Here’s hoping for some miraculous kindness to fall into your life and that of all your readers.

  12. The Mueller thing was a disappointment. I really want to see the full report. But honestly, in the long run, it might be better if we can just put all this behind us and move to a less toxic place in our political culture. I don't think we'll be able to do that until Trump is gone.

    I DO NOT GET the right's continuing obsession with Hillary Clinton (and Bill too). They're basically off the stage and still they're the subject of all sorts of rage and conspiracy theories. It's bizarre. It's pathological. Hitlery?! Really?!

    I also had a troubling Facebook exchange with someone I knew years ago -- a sort of coworker, although worked with him from afar. (I don't think I ever met him face to face.) Facebook is problematic because we wind up having conversations on sensitive topics with people we only barely know, which increases the likelihood that we'll resort to arguing with little regard for each other's feelings. You know?


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