I feel like the tree which has fallen in the forest with no one to hear it. Forget the question of whether or not it fell- was the tree ever even really there in the first place?
"She's come undone," said Wally Lamb and that is how I feel. Undone and drifting, arms like a marionette's, strings cut and dangling, mouth left clattering and voiceless, a trip to the trash depot almost more than I could bear, a stop by the post office where I got a magazine and in the space of one block, forgot it and left it in the car, not enough interest to go out and retrieve it.
I spent a good part of today rereading something I started writing years ago. Many, many pages and some of it- I swear- good enough to eat. I laughed out loud at some of the things I'd written. Did I write those things? How? What has happened to me? What happened to that woman who could sit and imagine worlds and people and weave together words to make it all almost real?
Ay-yi, and la-di-dah.
Tomorrow I'll be going to town to meet up with a friend after she has a "procedure."
And I don't mean getting botox.
Advice for the day: Fly while you fucking can.
When you comment on how hard it is to do things, you validate me because on some days I too find it a big deal just to get dressed and go to Winn Dixie....then I am tired when I get home. Your writing is beautiful and captures the complexities of your life making it universal in the process!ReplyDelete
Why is it like this for some of us while others do things like...run for president and take up the cello and run marathons and...oh, I don't know. Do things?Delete
I'm so sorry it's this way for you too.
I have been reading your blog for several years now and your writing has always been excellent. Don't lose heart....(I am a former English teacher, so I like to think I know good writing when I see it...) Just keep writing please.Delete
I was just thinking about your book the other day, swear! I wondered what ever happened to it because you used to talk about it every once in awhile and how you wanted to finish it. I hope that is something you may still do.ReplyDelete
Tomorrow's bound to be a better day. Fingers crossed.
Thank you, Liv. So much.Delete
I want "Fly while you fucking can" to be on a t-shirt.ReplyDelete
Also, I just bought your book. I can't wait to read it.
Well, that's just two short stories but thank you, dear Ramona, for buying it. I appreciate that. I hope you like them.Delete
I look back at old blogging posts, posts written years ago and have no idea writing them of that they even happened.ReplyDelete
I hope you sleep well tonight, you and Maurice. Mr. Moon will be home soon to put some of the broken puzzle back together. xo
I am feeling broken. It hurts, Birdie. I know you know.Delete
Oh, Mary. I have nothing except love and understanding.Delete
Good advice for ANY day. That creative person is still inside you, and comes out quite often. We're all still reading your blog and loving it, after all. :)ReplyDelete
Thank you Steve. And mostly thank you for still being here.Delete
Mary, finish your book. Just wade back in and enjoy the process. We need to write. Then do what Brittany did. Publish it yourself. It will be on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and we can all have the infinite pleasure of reading it. And all proceeds go back to you. I can guide you on the self publishing part. It way less pricy than you imagine. Then when you sell like hot cakes a mainstream publisher will come looking for you. Main thing: finish the book. It's wonderful. Hugs.ReplyDelete
I heard Anne Patchett on the radio the other day talk to a caller who'd spent five years of his life writing a book and he entered it into a contest and came in next to last and he was so upset and she said something like, "That was just practice. Throw it all away." And I keep thinking about that. I need to just throw it all away. Trust me. I can't write the way I used to. It isn't in me. Something got burned away.Delete
And honey, you can still fly. I promise.ReplyDelete
some days are like that. it took me two weeks to finally clean the toilet bowl after the mold started to grow at the water line. I mean how hard is that?ReplyDelete
For some reason, that can be so hard. I have been battling the mold lines in toilets around here, too. It's like suddenly they're just there. How does this happen?Delete
Your site looking too good.. And your writing skills so good keep it up. Regards: SarkariResultsReplyDelete
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