Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I Need A New Purse

Y'all! I have lost my writing ju-ju. My thoughts are as substantial as Angelina Jolie's arms, which is to say- someone needs some sustenance!

Some nourishment.

I think I have leaked all of mine out for the moment. Given it away. I do not think that eating macaroni and cheese would help me, although it sure would not hurt Angelina Jolie.

I kept waking up last night with alarming thoughts such as, "I must clear off that area in the kitchen by the toaster! It's a mess!"

Okay. What?
Who cares about the area in the kitchen by the toaster? Not even me. Not really.

I am thinking of my hen, Miss Flopsy who seems to be broody, which means she is sitting on the nest and will not get off and yesterday I found Miss Ozzie almost on top of her, tired of waiting for that particular nest and dammit, there is only ONE egg under Flopsy and if she intends to hatch that out, it's going to be a fool's errand.

Okay. I don't understand anything right now and I am running around in circles like a damn bulldog trying to catch its own stub of a tail for no apparent reason and I AM GETTING NOTHING DONE and am merely leaking more and more of anything that I may have had in reserve but this is not really depression, it's not really anxiety, it's just wonderment, really, at what it is I think I have to do and why.

It all seems so important and yes, I guess it is. Lines must be learned, costumes created, babies prepared for, groceries bought, meals made, laundry done, children tended, nests sat upon, etc., etc., etc.
But this is the way it always is. This is life. My life. Yours is probably similar although what wakes you up may not be the area by the toaster in your kitchen but the contract unsigned, the closet which you are afraid to open, the child whose grades are suddenly falling, the distance between you and your loved one in the bed, the squeal of brakes in your car, the outgrown shoes of your child- a million and one nagging worries that we all carry with us all of the time which prevent us from really sleeping or even really living or...writing.

I find myself wanting a new purse, which is ridiculous. I have at least forty-two purses, all of them beautiful and yet, none of them seems to suit me now, please me, whisper whatever purse magic it is that I love so much.

I think I just want a place to put all of my stuff. The stuff that wakes me, that bothers me, that annoys me as I rub up against it all day and all night. Also, the beautiful things I want to have with me at all times, the red fountain pen, the small notebook, the magic book reader which, if I have at hand, I can read almost anything in the world at any time from.

I want a soft place to put everything with a drawstring, perhaps, to pull tight and keep everything safely together inside.

No more a real answer than a bowl of macaroni and cheese and no more apt to change a damn thing.

Am I a bulldog chasing her tail? Am I a hen, sitting in paralysis on a nest for no good reason? Am I an old woman who needs to get off her ass?

At last- an answer to a question.

Yes. I am an old woman who needs to get off her ass.

Good morning, y'all. Good morning.


  1. My bulldog won't get off her ass this morning...must be something in the southern air today. ;)

    Years and years ago, my friend Tyler was playing one of the eels in the Broadway version of The Little Mermaid. Angelia and Brad brought their still growing brood backstage so that they could meet some of the cast. Tyler said that both Brad and Angelina looked like, and I quote, "spooky aliens." That's what happens when you say no to Macaroni and Cheese!

    I love this post, and I love you!

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  3. PS You can delete my double post. I don't know what's happening. Golllllllllllleeeee!

  4. my bulldog won't get off her ass either, though this is nothing new. Also I made her a new bed yesterday. But I digress. There is something not only in the southern air but here too in the west. At my house/head specifically. You have described what I am feeling EXACTLY except for the area by my toaster, which could use a good cleaning also. Perhaps we are just, all of us, Miss Flopsy included, percolating. Stand by for something great/big/surprising.
    ps. your juju is intact.

  5. Well, you are not alone, as I woke thinking about the clutter on my counters too, laying in bed nursing aching joints and seeing sunshine!! and thinking I must get things done! Alas, I've managed to drink some really strong coffee and play with the dog, but that's about it. And I need a new purse too, though I have too many already - I just can't find the one that holds things without losing them in the crevasses, one with just the right amount of pockets and zippers, a perfect collision of fashion and function. Let me know if you find one, and I'll do the same.
    The best thing about a lazy sunny morning with strong coffee is a post from you to go with it. I agree, your juju is intact, and I think leaking wonderment is not a bad way to be....

  6. Your purse is my pink sheets, and I did buy pale pink sheets the other day and now I sleep on them. And if my sheets are anything like your purse, I say go for it because it's one small step toward the next thing.

    Does that make any sense?

  7. Maybe you and your friends should organize a purse swap.

  8. A purse swap is a great idea, or failing that, sell your purses on ebay and buy a new one, guilt free!

  9. I've been reading quietly Ms. Moon , just no commenting.
    I've always go away and think of what to say , return and you've posted again!!! You amaze me with your talent and perspective and intention.

    Go buy a fabulous purse . Go.

  10. Oh! Oh, I know! I am convinced that purses are uterine symbols and that's why women care about them so much. When your baby girl is about to have another baby, it makes TOTAL sense that you should have a new purse! Yes! Go forth and buy one!

  11. I am, thankfully, not leaking anything at the moment. That is a good sign since I hate to be 56 and potentially leaking something like a lot of old men do. Nope, healthy and doing okay today with only the occasional flash back. Counter tops don't wake me up. I am glad to sleep like a baby most every night. And it has been too warm to have leaky faucets. I'm dealing with stuff. Getting by.


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