Clown Make-Up

I can't even stand to read the paper right now or read the articles on the internet about politics. It's just all a bunch of disgusting mess. I have been alive for fifty-seven years and I don't think I've ever seen such a craptastic slate of Republican candidates although why I am surprised, I do not know- I mean, GW Bush not only got nominated, he got elected twice.
Well. Not really.

What lit my fuse this morning was a quote from the paper from a woman commenting on Obama's State of the Union address last night which I did not watch as I was at rehearsal. Anyway, this woman said, "It's nice to see the president in full campaign mode. What we heard tonight was a series of empty platitudes and false dichotomies as the president gave lip service to issues like controlling our debt and getting our economy moving again. He was right about one thing, though. The American Dream is under attack. What the president fails to understand is that it's under attack by his own policies."

What. The. Fuck.

This sort of sums it all up for me right now. The hypocritical bullshit and yes, empty platitudes and false dichotomies. Yep. Right there.
But not Obama's.

Maybe I'm just having an old-hippie moment here but what the fuck is going on with all those old Republican White Men with their freaky sprayed hair and their mouths going, "Blah, blah, blah," and their lives saying, "Nah, nah, nah."

Right now the two biggest dicks in the barrel seem to be Newt and Mitt.
Newt with his three marriages, his "I'm not a Washington Insider" and his "I've never been a lobbyist."

I mean- come the fuck on. The truth is no farther away than yesterday's newspaper. Dude spent untold sums of money and wanked out the government to impeach Bill Clinton for letting an intern smoke his cigar WHILE HE WAS CHEATING ON HIS OWN DAMN WIFE! Listen- I'm a big believer in what you do with your private parts are your own private business but when you start moralizing and demonizing another person for doing the same exact thing you're up to, then I have to say that we need to take your soapbox away.
Plus. He was Speaker of The House. I loved what Jon Stewart said which was something along the lines of "Newt, when Washington gets a prostate exam, you're the one who gets tickled."
If being Speaker of the Damn House isn't being a Washington insider then it's being a Washington Vital Organ, at least.
And can you say, "Fannie Mae?"
But nah, go on, just keep opening your mouth and vomiting up the lies and eventually, someone will believe you.
Obviously.
Doesn't say much for American voters, does it?

Mitt? Who knows what the hell he really believes? He changes his own deeply held beliefs faster than he changes his Mormon underwear.
And speaking of Mormons- no, we do not have to accept the fact that Mormonism is just as regular a religion as being a Methodist. Methodists do not have secret rites and rituals in a TEMPLE, y'all, which you participate in and are sworn to secrecy under threat of...what? Death? I don't know.
I'm not saying that Mormonism as a belief is any crazier than any other religion but even within the definition of weirdness which to me encapsulates most religious belief, Mormonism sort of stands out.

Okay, okay. Whatever. What I'm saying here is that it's all a bunch of just completely bizzaro-world bullshit and I'm done with reading about it. Mostly. My biggest fear is that after the people-with-dicks bite each other's asses to oblivion, Sarah Palin is going to step back into the ring. Hey- it could happen. That Freaky Ass Big Tent those Republicans are always going on about has red and white stripes on it and it's always the scariest clown that steps out of the car last.

And the people always cheer and the lions roar and the elephants stand on their hind legs and balance a ball on their trunks and the ring master dashes around cracking his whip and the children cry because goddam- the circus is SCARY- but it's so much more entertaining than a lecture at the library and we all just buy another beer and a bag of peanuts and settle back and enjoy the show until we realize it's not a show, not at all, and the clowns are running the circus and no matter where we look, it's all crazy and confused and even when it's over and we step out into the light of day, the smell of the shit and sawdust is still in our nostrils and we can only imagine the clowns taking off their wigs and sitting back, their giant-shod feet propped on the coffee table, swigging whiskey and counting the till and laughing their asses off at how there's a sucker born every minute.