Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Start Grinding That Nutmeg, Start Simmering That Cider

Well, here it is. The day before Christmas Eve and as John and Yoko asked, "What have you done?"

And the answer to that question is, "Not much."

Yesterday, YESTERDAY, I decided it would be a good idea to bake two kinds of cookies and a fruit cake. Hey. No fruit cake jokes. You've never had my fruitcake. It's awesome. It makes you want to go off into a closet and eat the whole damn thing by yourself, maybe taking one small dog with you to eat the crumbs which spray from your lips, your eyes closed in ecstasy, your fingers digging into the cake- who needs a fork? Yep. It's that good.

So, the cookies and the fruitcake. And how, Ms. Moon, you may ask, are you going to bake these holiday confections? I thought your oven was kaput.

Well, it still bakes although it takes an eternity to preheat and it does, yes, smell slightly of gas. Mr. Moon located a new range yesterday at a close-out price and we will be taking possession of it shortly. But until it has been brought home and hooked up by a gas-professional, I will be limping along with the old one here and by golly, if I made it work for a forty-four pound turkey, I can make it work for two measly batches of cookies and one damn five-pound fruitcake.
No fruitcake jokes!

And yes, we are having venison tamales. So I must crockpot that deer meat today with spices and peppers. And of course we have to have the traditional Moon Christmas Eve Chicken Salad (don't ask me why) and so I need to cook the chicken and check the cabinets to see how much Miracle Whip I have because oh, my children, this chicken salad requires a great deal of Miracle Whip. Perhaps the chicken salad IS the Christmas miracle, what with all that delightful, tangy whip of miracles in it.

So. Bake the cookies and the fruitcake. Get the venison in the crockpot. Boil the chicken. Check on Miracle Whip.

On to presents. Like regrets, yes, I have a few. I have not wrapped one. Not one. And since I bought so few gifts, I thought I'd make the tags for them myself, just to make each one a little more special and so the table on the back porch is strewn with tiny pictures of the Virgin of Guadalupe cut from an old calender and that's as far as I've gotten with that project.

So. Bake the cookies. And the fruitcake. Prepare the tamale filling. Boil the chicken. Look for Miracle Whip. Make the tags, wrap the presents.

Are you with me?

On to the present I have not finished working on because I am making it by hand and oh yes, I decided on this one about four days ago. Uh-huh. I need to sit in front of the TV and watch old Christmas movies and work on it. Lovely hours of enforced old movie watching while finishing the present. Sounds lovely, lovely, lovely.

Uh. When? How?

I was going to work on it last night after play practice but instead I wrote that really horrible poem about peeing in our holiday pants. And here's the really scary thing: I had not had so much as a drop of liquor when I wrote it! NOT ONE DROP! Sober as a judge I was. I should be ashamed to admit that but it is two days before Christmas and I have no shame. None at all.

So. Time to chop candied and dried fruits and nuts. Time to boil meats. Time to get out the glue and the glitter. Time to cream butter and sugar and eggs. Time to preheat the oven if I want to bake within the next 24 hours. Time to sit and sew.

Time to take three minutes and twenty-nine seconds to watch this:



I just did and my heart is happier for it.

So here I go, off to do my chopping and creaming and sewing and glittering and I get to do it all in this house that I love which is warm and cozy and tomorrow all my kids will come out and spend the night and hang the stockings and eat fruitcake and I am grateful. So damn grateful.

I survived this year. And we're about to have a new one.

Let's hope it's a good one.

Without any fear.

13 comments:

  1. You have to grind nutmeg? What IS nutmeg?
    You make me feel so inadequate in my holiday preparations!
    Not really, I have no interest in most things domestic.
    But it does sound wonderful when you describe it!

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  2. Nutmeg is a wonderful spice, Rachel. You can buy it already ground. ;) Google "French Breakfast Puffs" and declare making them the only domestic thing you do. :)

    Ms. Moon, You're surely outdoing yourself up there, one who declared herself a hater of Christmas. ;) You fraud, you! ;) And the John and Yoko video was a marvey Christmas present to me. :)

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  3. Rachel- Nutmeg does come ground but I have learned that it tastes best if you grind it yourself. Actually, I don't grind it. I just grate a tiny bit with the smallest side of the grater
    And being non-domestic doesn't mean your holiday preparations are inadequate at all. For instance- you buy presents. Actual, real presents. My children would probably trade with yours which would be a good deal for you- they all change their own pants now.

    Lopo- I often buy whole nutmeg at the Chadraui in Cozumel when I am there. French breakfast puffs, eh?
    And I still don't like Christmas. I just like to bake and cook. And watch my children eat what I've baked and cooked.
    I'm glad you enjoyed John and Yoko. That is my favorite, favorite Christmas song. Oh wait. It's the ONLY one I like.

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  4. I think I finally as of just this morning decided what you and the sisters will be getting for Xmas. And maybe dad. Yay last minute! And yay chicken salad!

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  5. awww...

    HAPPY HAPPY HOLIDAYS MS MOON!

    you are wonderful!

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  6. ...now I know why I love you...Miracle Whip!
    how about posting the recipe??
    because, you know, what else do you have to do these days?

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  7. Watching my children eat what I bake is the part missing for me this year. Therefore, I won't be baking except for the French breakfast Puffs for the h! :)

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  8. AJ- happy holidays to you, too. And you know what? YOU'RE great!

    DTG- chicken is boiled.

    Lopo- I MUST learn to make those.

    Just Me- uh. You boil chicken and when it's cool, put it in the food processor to grind it all up. Put that in a bowl. Process pecans and bread-and-butter pickles and onions. Your choice on amounts. Mix with chicken and add lots of Miracle Whip. And some pickle juice. The sweeter the better. Add salt to taste. Put in a bowl and decorate with red and green grapes and pecans.
    That's it!

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  9. I will admit it, I enjoy fruitcake, with extra cherries! No joke!

    I am so hungry now after reading this and all the other comments. Jeesh. :)

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  10. It will be a good one. No doubts here.

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  11. Nicol- you should be here.

    Aunt Becky- Yes. A great one for you! You'll get to meet your baby girl. Wow.

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  12. Your kids still stay with you on x-mas eve? My boyfriend and I do that too, each with our own mammas. I thought we were the only grown kids still doing that.

    I hope ya'll have lots of warm snuggles and fun times.

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  13. i never realized they were saying 'war is over' in that song... it's very touching

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