Saturday, November 12, 2016

The Miracles Of The Bouncy House And The Free Tropical Ice, Plus Love

I've hit a point right now where I just can't deal with any more pain for the moment.
It's like my brain has tossed this fantastically hideous and unbelievably heavy rock of reality around so much that it's exhausted and for this second, it's just set it down in a dark corner, letting me think about something else for a little while.

I was in a horrible mood this morning. Just horrible. Lily and Jessie came over and I didn't care if we went to the farm with the kids or went to the barbecue festival in Lloyd or went down to the river and jumped the fuck in.
I was ugly. I was being ugly. I was talking ugly and I was not much fun to be with as we all piled into Lily's van and drove to a local place called Aunt Louise's Farm. One of the first things I did when we got there, before we even got out of the car, was to gesture to a woman whose hair was stuck in the eighties and say, "I'll bet she voted for Trump."
"Oh, mama," my girls said. We'd all been talking about things and wondering what horrors were to come and we all had our safety pins pinned to our shirts but here we were, at Aunt Louise's Farm with four children and goddam it, it was a beautiful day and why not just try to enjoy it?

And we did, after I calmed down and quit being a mean old bitch. We walked through the corn maze (and why don't they call it a maize maze?) and the mystery of it was greatly diminished by the fact that all of the corn stalks were dead and brown and we could see everything everywhere and the dust of the paths was so fierce that it could have given us pneumonia and I got a lot of my bad mood out by making fun of it all and asking repeatedly just why we were doing this because it really wasn't much fun and Lily was having a devil of a time trying to push Maggie's stroller through the loose dirt and we kept commenting on the scarecrows' outfits, many of which were better than the ones I wear on a daily basis.

Plus, there was this one.
I had to laugh.

After we found our way out of the maze (we cheated when we were tired of it and just walked right out) we went to the great vats of corn that the children could get in and wallow in and crawl around in and well, do whatever it is that kids do in great vats of corn.

August took to it as if he'd been born to end up in dried corn and Owen and Gibson had a great time too and Maggie was interested but not quite sure of what to make of it. Mostly she wanted to eat the corn which makes a great deal of sense.

There were bunnies to gently hold (and if this is cruel treatment of animals, I'm sorry but it was very supervised)

and there were chickens to check out and peacocks and turkeys and alpacas

(and as you can see, these were professional alpacas who knew how to pose properly) and goats

and a little train made of something farm-related which was pulled by a tractor

and a silly place to stick your head through and have your picture taken.

It was a sweet little operation, all told, and even the port-o-potties were as pristine as I've ever seen and simple and easy and there were people of different races and even some interracial couples and all anyone seemed to care about was taking pictures of their kids in the corn vats and just enjoying the day. 
You know. Good old American fun, as it were, and I just couldn't hold on to my anger. I was too busy holding on to my grandbabies. 

So after we left the farm, we decided to go to Monticello for lunch and Owen and Gibson were not happy because 
(a) They'd wanted a snow cone at Aunt Louise's and hadn't gotten one, and 
(b) We'd discussed going to the Barbecue Festival and they remembered the bouncy house there from last year and were NOT HAPPY that the bouncy house option had been eliminated. 

So. This is where it gets funny. 
We're driving down the street to get to the pizza joint where we'd planned to eat lunch but there, right in front of the Mexican restaurant in the middle of the blocked-off street, is...a bouncy house.

Because nothing says Mexican food like a Disney Princess bouncy house, right?
And so we went to the Mexican restaurant and ate outside and the kids bounced. Even Maggie got to have a little bouncy fun.

And while we were eating a huge RV pulled up filled with kids of various ages and nationalities and possibly a few parents and that got added to the fun and we all ate Mexican food right there in Monticello, Florida which is naught but a tiny town in a North Florida redneck county. 
And you know what? 
It was fucking cool and the kids were so happy to have gotten their bouncy house dreams come true but they were still a little bit upset about the snow cone situation. So we were driving out of Monticello, heading to Lloyd when what did we see parked next to the Opera House but a TROPICAL ICE TRUCK and so we had to stop and Lily and Jessie got out and ordered up Tropical Ices for the boys and themselves and by golly- they were free. 
Turns out that there was some sort of literacy festival going on in Monticello and so...Free Tropical Ice for all!

I have no idea how all of this happened but it did and so there you go- tiny miracles and magic and I'm going to hold on to all of that. 

Hell and fuck no, this does nothing to ease the fact that DT is the president elect and that we, the citizens of this fucked-up country elected him. But it does remind me that not everyone voted for him and that there is still good. There are still beautiful fall days in beautiful small towns where families can go to have a good time with animals and corn and that little boys' desires can be fulfilled and we need to hold on to that. 
THAT is normal, not the nightmare going on. And we have to do everything in our power not to let the nightmare become normalized. To fight against anything that takes away the rights of anyone to enjoy a day like today. 

Yeah. I'm being corny and sentimental but I just spent a day with my grandkids and Owen sat in my lap for a moment, snuggling up against me which he so rarely does anymore and I made August laugh a lot and Maggie smile a lot and Gibson told me for the one millionth time that he loves me. 
So if love trumps hate, I got a sweet taste of that today and for right now, this second, I'm letting that hideous and heavy rock just sit all alone in the dark part of my mind and I'm letting the light shine on the parts which are still pure. God knows I'll trip on that rock again and again and again and it will hurt over and over again but right this second, I can't torture myself with it. I need to regain my strength in order to pick it up and deal with it and there is no doubt I am going to need to deal with it as we all do and will do. 

Because we will. 

And we need to remember exactly what it is that we're standing up for. We need to be nasty women and bad hombres in the best, most fervent sort of ways. 
Which requires strength and a sense of purpose. 

I found some of that today and I feel the better for it. 

I hope you have too. 

All love...Ms. Moon


  1. Fabulous pictures of happiness. I feel happy through you. I feel better and like you just can't feel the despair to the degree I've been feeling it. I too have compartmentalized it. For now. You are lucky and deserving to have your grand kids. I love that I get a glimpse into your lives and thank you and truly so for sharing it. Jo

    1. It was a beautiful day and I am so lucky to be able to have days like that. And I know it. Thank you, sweet Jo.

  2. I am a crabby bitch still. I can't shake it. I want so badly to hate all Trump voters and to scream at them to fuck off. Ice controlled myself though and only told two on Facebook to fuck off. I think I shall take it a day at a time in that department. Grateful for this safe oasis you provide.

    1. It doesn't feel so safe today. I think I've gotten rid of all of my Trump FB supporters already except for possibly one or two who mostly keep their chicken shit thoughts to themselves.
      One day at a time. Yes.

  3. As you know I'm an Aussie and I am still fucking gobsmacked that DT was elected!!!!!!!!

    1. I believe the entire world is amazed and horrified.
      It's so embarrassing.

    2. Australian politics are just as embarrassing at times too !!!!!!

  4. A bouncy house AND snow cones?

    The magic your grandchildren inspire is amazing.

    I will be filled with deep rage until this abysmal chapter of our nation is over, but it takes too much effort to actively be in deep rage every single second. Sometimes I just gotta take a minute for snuggles and treats.

    Besides, if they make our lives more miserable before they even get started, they're kind of winning, and fuck that.

    1. You're right. They are kind of winning. And I don't seem to have the strength to fight them some days.

  5. I saw Owen's picture on Facebook and he was looking positively surly! It made me smile because he is always such an unseat happy kid. We all have and are entitled to not being happy.

    And your comment about the woman with them hair voting for DT. I saw a woman like that a few weeks back. She had this what can only be described as a bun with curls. It angered me. I have no idea why but it did. She looked like the type that smokes 3 packs a day and hangs out at Bingo with troll dolls. A Conservative woman. It shows that I am indeed a mean and judgemental person.

    Ah, but anyway. You are a cool woman and I am so glad to know you.

    Why the fuck isn't it called a Maize Maze? Add it to the list of things that anger me.

    1. I suppose we need to keep reminding ourselves that we really can't judge others by their looks.
      It's hard, though.
      I will, however, judge others by their actions. Is that wrong? Fuck it. I don't care.

  6. We can't walk around mad all the time. Sometimes we have to put that rock down and attend to the present moment, especially when it's just so magical and good.

    1. And today, I feel as if I've lost all of my magic.
      Oh, Angella- what are we going to do?

  7. What a sweet day yall had! I too was able to put that heavy rock over in the corner for awhile. I spent the afternoon with my daughter shopping for her first maternity clothes and admiring her softly round & growing belly. As she said to me,"Mama we can't let hate win." She's right. We have to be rational & speak up loudly for truth and justice. Volunteer. Donate. Whatever we can. There is no doubt there will be some hard,scary days ahead but I will not let them steal the beauty & joy in my life. Or they do win.
    Angie D

    1. You're right. And congratulations on this amazing part of your life- each baby brings so much joy and hope if we just recognize and realize.

  8. I voted for her on the first day of early voting and there was a woman there that was 10-15 years older than I am, I think I am terrible at guessing ages. I found myself getting mad at her thinking she had cancelled out my vote both for president and amendment 2. Then I thought of all the young people I work with and thought what are they thinking of me. No one knows how she voted but she did look conservative and she angered me, before this was even decided. Your day looks like it was full of good times and small miracles. Gail

    1. It was, Gail! Thank you. We need to keep remembering positive things if we can. God but that can be hard work.

  9. I know what you mean. I've been avoiding contact with my neighbors and town folk afraid they are going to bring up the election and if they do I'm going to have to tell them what I think and I don't think that will be good. I'm consoling myself by remembering that only about 25% of the population voted for DT (I love that, DT because he is just like getting the DTs, horror hallucinations) and he did not win the popular vote. so more work for me today in the studio.

  10. The farm sounds fun, despite the dusty corn maze. And yeah, I'd say the universe was on your side (despite everything else) giving you a bouncy house AND free son-cones!

  11. I am charmed by the apparent conjuring of the bouncy house and snow cones. The kids' wishes made manifest. Tell them we call them bouncy castles here - even grander.

    I am of the opinion that Maggie has grown up too quickly. I can't get behind this, adorable kissing or not. Put that standing-up-child back in a onezie. She looks ready for university.

    I have no idea why they don't call it a maize maze. What a terrible missed opportunity.

  12. I feel the same. Am not proud of how I'm behaving sometimes in front of my kids - at first I said that this is how democracy works, and sometimes we win and sometimes we lose but we have to respect the process.... and sometimes when they ask why people would vote for Trump I slip and say they're idiots..... am just so disheartened.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.