Friday, November 25, 2016

Post Thanksgiving Breakdown

It was a good Thanksgiving and I'm sitting here going through my pictures realizing I did not get one picture of May. How can that even be? Probably because she was so busy taking care of everyone, making sure that all the food got put on the table, helping Owen when he hurt his finger, seeing what was needed and doing it, and then, when it was all over, being the superstar and cleaning everything up because the rest of us faded to the point of invisibility.

Oh, May. Thank you my love!

Here are pictures of other people doing other things.

Hank, as always, holding a baby. This one is Ananda, her mother Donna sitting beside him. Ananda is another happy, happy child and can shriek with joy louder than any child I've ever heard.

August and his mama. He had the best time just exploring.

Maggie. Being adorable. Because that's what she does.

The fellows playing bocce ball in the late afternoon sun filtering through the pines.

Jason and his brother, Chris and sister-in-law Lauren. They are the parents of darling Lenore.

Gibson and the aforementioned darling Lenore, eating at the kids' table. Owen chose to sit on the bench around the oak tree. When we went to leave and I was kissing everyone good-bye, Lenore got up from what she was doing and said, "Bye, Mer Mer," and came and hugged me. She is such a precious sprite.

Our Anna. This is her 8th Thanksgiving with us. We are always so glad to have her. When she first came to our Thanksgivings, she was a graduate student at FSU and now she is Dr. Anna and teaching at FSU.

Lily and her daddy. 

And I think that's all the pictures I got because at that point I was too full and kept losing my phone and was too tired and it was all just too much and next year we need to set some limits on how much food there can be because this was ridiculous. Two turkeys, three different types of dressing, two different cranberry dishes, tempeh with stuffing, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, macaroni and cheese, corn casserole, broccoli casserole, collard greens, smoked venison with a blackberry reduction, rolls, biscuits, gravy both vegetarian and non-, and I don't even know what. 
Three pies, egg nog cookies and pecan bars. 

We came home and it felt like it was 11:00 at night but it was only a little after 7:00 and I did a little bit of tidying in the kitchen and then got in bed and finished up reading "Moving On" which left me bereft and what am I going to do now for comfort? Finally, at almost ten I turned out my light and went to sleep and Mr. Moon eventually woke up from where he'd been sleeping in his chair and came to bed and here it is, the day after. 

And I am struggling hard. I cannot shake this melancholy, this anxiety, this sense of hopelessness which is so ridiculous and my riches make me feel even worse because- what right do I have to feel this way? 

Well. It is the way it is. 

The sun is coming up and it is quiet in Lloyd and Mr. Moon has gone to work and I clung to him before he left, holding on to his strength, his warmth, his goodness. 

There is so much good in this world, despite everything, and I am going to hold on to that. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Hi,
    In my part of Scotland it is freezing and this will pass and the spring will come and the days will get warmer.
    In time the chill in your heart will thaw and the sun will come back to you and warm you through again.
    Hold on to the love you have in your life and the smiles you are given from the people you care for and the bad will be a memory. Love Jessica

  2. That's a good thing to hold onto. You may think "What right do I have to feel this way," but the flip side of that coin is, "Why torture myself?" The world has problems and some of them are serious but we are limited in what we can do and the amount of responsibility we personally bear. I'm glad you had a good, busy, filling Thanksgiving. :)

  3. holding on to the good. right now it's all we've got. happy family day.

  4. What a perfect Thanksgiving venue, all the kids barefoot!

  5. Now that looks like a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  6. That damn bitch Anxiety. I think you should be good to yourself, Mary. The election. Owen. Of course you are anxious. You have every right to. Maybe instead of pushing it away and saying you shouldn't be anxious you could just sit with it for a while. Like something that needs to be looked at. Like May with Owen's finger. You can tell him to ignore it and he shouldn't be feeling pain because look at all your toys!

  7. I love seeing your warm weather thanksgiving. Everyone here is so bundled up against the cold. I know that feeling of melancholy amid the joy. This, too, will pass. I promise.


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