Monday, November 14, 2016

Crazy With A Twist

I think it's time to go get a strep test. Gibson got tested today and he has it. Lily took him in because of a cough and he's not complained of a sore throat at all and yet- he tested positive. My throat has been feeling funky and I've been feeling like total shit and Gibson drinks out of my water cup all the time and this makes Lily having had it twice, Owen once, and now Gibson. Mr. Moon tested negative for it but the PA he went to said it was still possible he had it and the antibiotics he was given knocked whatever it was out in a day or two.
Of course, this means I have to go to my NP.
Which I'd almost rather die than do but that's beyond ridiculous.

The thing about anxiety and depression is that they can both cause profound physical symptoms. So- do you feel like shit because you're anxious and depressed or do you have an actual problem?
Throw in a huge, neurotic fear of all things medical and it can be a difficult situation.

Anyway, today was a loss for me in many ways and although I did take a walk and get a few things done around here I also spent almost two hours in bed reading and asleep. Both but not at the same time. Bed seems to be the only comfortable place there is for me right now, sleeping or reading McMurtry's Moving On, and I wish I was one of those people using their anger and fear to mobilize and plan ways to thwart and mitigate at least some of the damage this incoming administration can do but I am not.
Cleaning the toilets about does me in. Throw in the laundry and emptying the dishwasher and I am done.

I feel as I really don't know anything any more. You know how I always say, "I don't know shit?"
Well. I really don't.
All I know is that I wish I had a chicken pot pie to bake or a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese to make and if I did, I'd put a whole can of tiny green peas in it. I also know that I'm so very cold despite wearing my Goodwill cashmere and a jacket. And that I guess I'll have to go to a medical place tomorrow and that I'm almost hoping that I do have strep because goddammit, there's a cure for that.

Any relief is welcome. Any relief at all.

Love you so much...Ms. Moon


22 comments:

  1. I have a Goodwill cashmere!
    No matter what I do the moths get to them, so I only buy from a thrift store, then I wear them until they are holey, then I wear them at home until they die. I am the most elegant gardener on the block!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is no luxury like Goodwill (or thrift store) cashmere because you can literally wear it to death with no guilt whatsoever. Mine have holes too and so what? The chickens do not care one bit when I wear my moth-bit sweaters to feed them.

      Delete
  2. Today I am grieving. I'm grieving the loss of the Obamas in the White House. For eight years there have been no scandals and no investigations. I never worried President Obama would say something that would embarrass me or the country. I enjoyed watching the bond that developed between Joe Biden and Barack Obama. Michelle was such an elegant First Lady and it was such fun watching Amelia and Sasha develop into beautiful young women. Heck, I'm even going to miss the dogs Sunny and Bo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you. God but I hate to see them go.

      Delete
  3. I don't know shit either. Hope your strep is better soon. I so wish there was a cure for this nightmare come true. Someone today asked me if I was over it yet. I will NEVER be over it. I'll eventually deal with it but never over it. Rest and heal. Hope Gibson is better soon. Sending love.
    Xoxo
    Barbara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope. No cure for this nightmare. No miracle in sight. Thanks for the good wishes.

      Delete
  4. Definitely go and get tested. You probably do have it and strep can truly make you feel terrible. Feel better my love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did get tested. I almost died of anxiety. I swear. I'm crazy.

      Delete
  5. I'm so tired. Just so, so tired with the weight of it all. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through 4 years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that sales of antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are going to go through the roof. Buy stock in their companies now.
      Just kidding. I don't support Big Pharma.

      Delete
  6. Dear dear Mary-

    I'm holding you in my arms all the way from here, dear friend. I feel broken into a million pieces. I wanna eat donuts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't even eat doughnuts and yet, they sound so good right now.
      Here we are, broken but still breathing. Holding you back.

      Delete
  7. Well I hope you do get some medicine if you need it, warm up and feel better. There's going to be plenty of time to help out with all the things we're going to need to do to fight this bullshit in Washington.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. I have a feeling that there IS going to be plenty of time. Not like anything's going to get fixed right away.

      Delete
  8. Ugh. I hope the doctor (if you DO have to go to the doctor) knocks this bug out for all of you. There's enough to deal with without having to deal with THAT. Right?

    ReplyDelete
  9. it's just getting uglier out there. racist, misogynist, jew hater for senior advisor; virulent anti-LGBTQ for domestic policy; virulent racist who thinks BLM and ISIS are in cahoots for homeland security. male Trump supporters attacking women. I don't blame you for wanting to stay in bed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I can't stay in bed forever. Although I seem to be sleeping an awful lot. I mean, more than usual and that's a lot.

      Delete
  10. https://medium.com/@SnoozeInBrief/an-analysis-of-donald-trumps-election-win-and-the-prospects-for-his-presidency-f6a87eef6d70#.ox3a7bdfj

    A good laugh. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect. Sums it all up perfectly, doesn't it?

      Delete
  11. Strep is its own form of evil sickness. I do think that when your soul aches your body's defences go down and you get sick. I think that is why the good die young. Or maybe not. I don't know. .

    You left a comment on my blog that you suck. I just want to say I most certainly do not think that you or any of the people who voted for good and right suck. I am saying this because I got a comment on my blog that was very angry and the person ended up unfollowing me. I hope my post did not come across as hateful. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, well. I think I meant Americans suck in general. Our People, as it were. I can't help feeling this way. I know there are plenty of us who don't but why couldn't we have stopped this monster?
      And your post was the opposite of hateful. Whoever unfollowed you was hateful. Let them go.

      Delete

Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.