Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Yesterday afternoon I heard a chicken kerfluffle with great bawking and flapping of wings and ran out the back door and screamed at whatever was attacking because something was attacking. Sure enough, a hawk had tried to get little Violet- that pretty gray bird to the left of Miss Dearie. The hawk took off to perch in the magnolia tree above where the attack had occurred and Violet ran under the deck. Mick stood in sentry beside it for about an hour.
Dottie and Darla immediately ran into the hen house and huddled there and last night when I shut them all up, they were all safe and Violet seems to have suffered no injuries.
I woke up in the very early morning to hear rain, a good rain, coming down and it was beautiful. We are supposed to get more today. Even the little bit we got is going to help. Such a comfort.
I am feeling better in the mind today, even without having started on the new medication but my body is still in full adrenalin mode. People who have never had anxiety have no idea how physical this disorder is. And I am already second-guessing the antidepressant that the doctor has prescribed for me. I have heard bad things about it and one of the main side effects is weight gain and I certainly can not deal with that. What to do? Just take the anti-anxiety medication and see if that will do? I hate the idea of being on an antidepressant. I know what they do to me and on the one hand, they can make life worth living but they do bring side effects which can make life less pleasant. Does this make sense? Maybe.
All I want is to be able to enjoy and appreciate this amazing life that I have. I have all of the love anyone could ever want, I do not suffer from any unmet needs in any way. And I do appreciate and cherish and acknowledge and KNOW all of that and simply ask to be able to wake up and not have to fight my way though a day feeling as if a sword is being held to my chest.
I suppose that all I am asking is for some ease. Which may be too much to ask in this crazy world of ours. I don't know.
On one more topic- I am listening to "Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe" and I'd just like to say that this book which was written in 1987 is worth reading. Yes, we've all seen the movie- at least I hope we have- but the book is truly lovely and Fannie Flagg covered a lot of topics including racism, poverty, lesbianism, menopause, marriage, women's rights, and domestic violence. And she does it all so gracefully. If you're looking for something to read which is a good story and well-written and sense-of-place-and-time centered, this is a good one. I've said it before and I will say it again- Fannie Flagg is an underrated author in my opinion. Probably because she tells such a good story, is a woman, and is southern.
Well, that's my take on things. I am a simple woman and I have simple tastes.
Be well, y'all.