Wednesday, November 16, 2016

I'm Fucking Freaking And Trying To Talk Myself Down

I've spent almost the entire day working on a quilt for Gibson and I've accomplished little besides confirming that fact that being on the floor and working on my knees is not as much fun as it used to be. At one point I shut off the sewing machine and thrust the work away from me and said out loud, "I just can't do this," which is so silly because it's such a simple thing.

It is nice to use my old Singer after its recent repair and refurbishing. It runs so beautiful, so quietly.

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Oh y'all. I'm having such a hard time. I know you all are too. This is just such a horrible time in our history. I keep thinking that some sort of miracle may still occur but we know it won't. Jesus isn't going to appear with his arms stretched down from the clouds and the electoral college isn't going to vote against its mandates and DT and Pence are not going to keel over simultaneously with matching heart attacks and we're just screwed. 
We're screwed and we're fucked and we know it and even though I applaud all of the protesters and the petition signers and the letter-writers, I just can't help but feel that we're simply shit out of luck and that is that.

I was talking to Lily earlier and she said she felt guilty about not going to the protest in Tallahassee today and I told her not to. That some of us are protesters and some of us are not. She sighed and said that yes, that's true and she talked about how her coworkers know not to say a fucking word around her when her store's most obvious transgendered lady comes in to shop.
"You don't even need to say a word about that lady," Lily has told them. And they don't. At least not in Lily's presence.
Our conversation went deeper into it- how people are feeling free to say the vilest things right now, things they may have thought before but were constrained from uttering out loud by at least a modicum of decency and cultural disapproval.
It's like nothing's off the table to say anymore. When someone like DT said the things that he said and then got elected president, there's obviously no need to curb our deepest and most hideous prejudices, our most foul feelings. And the most horrible thing of all is that so many people, people we know, people we may be related to, have these prejudices and feelings.
And let's not even go into how absolutely unqualified to be the president of the United States that Donald Trump is. It would be so hysterically funny if it weren't so fucking damn terrifying.

Well. I swear to god. Tomorrow I am going to post some chicken pictures and some recipes and some funny stories about growing up in Central Florida (hey! did I ever tell you about the time we blew up a gas station accidentally?) and maybe some pictures of my grandchildren and a memory of how I met my husband and WHOA! DID YOU KNOW THAT THE ROLLING STONES HAVE A NEW ALBUM COMING OUT?!
It's true. All old blues covers.
And actually, that makes me a little happy.
And- did you see the list of this year's Medal of Freedom award recipients?
Check it out here. 

And if that's not a big fuck-you to DT and his supporters, I don't know what is.

I guess if there's any good news in the world right now it's that for the next two months, we still have Barack Obama as our president.

That and my friend Togi's FB post this evening.

Highlight of my day: Marching next to a 5 yr old little girl that was yelling "My Body ,My Choice!"


That's all I have to say tonight.

Love...Ms. Moon










14 comments:

  1. I put one foot in front of the other...go through the motions...and worry every minute about what my three granddaughters may have to endure. I'm just sad, and can't imagine four years of living in fear.

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  2. I read today that Donald Trump isn't going to challenge the law of same-sex marriage. I really hope that that's true. He apparently said this in his interview on 60 minutes. If that is true it is at least one last thing that he can do the fuck up the country. I am sure Pence will be fighting him all the way on that one.

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    1. I don't believe one thing that comes out of his mouth. I don't think he even knows what he's saying half the time.

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  3. I have been staying in bed like I'm sick. My cleaning lady came and I told her to vacuum and go home. Of course I paid her. She told me sad treatment she's been getting. I wait with utter happy anticipation for your post tomorrow.

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    1. I'm so sorry about your cleaning lady. How horrible! How wrong!

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  4. As I've said before, I'm taking it day by day. I am trying not to look at the whole dreadful picture -- especially since I'm still not sure what that picture will look like. Instead, I'm choosing to see it in dreadful but manageable pieces, as those pieces rise to the surface.

    We allegedly had a rash of incivility and hate speech after the Brexit vote, but I haven't heard about it lately so I think it must have died back down to pre-Brexit levels. One would hope. (Well, second only to hoping that it would die away entirely.)

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    1. Day by day, for sure. Even that's a pretty long stretch of time and I find myself going up and down so many times every day.
      I second your hopes. Especially the last.

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  5. the electoral college will not have the courage to do the right thing. they could, that's why they are there, to prevent disaster like this, but they won't have the courage. all we can do is resist. resist the hate, step in and step up when we see it happening. and it has to be us white people doing it. I don't know what's going to happen. it could get so much worse, the whole muslim registry thing. and white supremacists in the white house. just sickening. I just wonder what all his supporters will think when they gut food and housing assistance, when they gut SS and do away with the ACA and Medicare.

    so yeah, back in the shop for me today where I must concentrate of what I am doing so I don't fuck up the piece or fuck me up with the machines.

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    1. I spent all day sewing and mostly ripping out with a book in my ears. It was not a bad day.
      I know, Ellen. It's horrible. We'll do what we can and not shut up.

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  6. Every single thing in this post is exactly how I feel. Exactly.

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  7. Lily, I feel bad every march I miss too - but mothers of young children have extenuating circumstances. We'll have our time to get to protests again in the future - I'm fairly sure not everything will be alright by then!

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.