I've been up for hours and am still in complete shock. I am literally stunned.
How could this have happened?
Well, I think Mr. Moon, aka Zen Glen, probably summed it up when he said, "It was all the chicken shits. The chicken shits who knew they were going to vote for him but wouldn't admit it."
Thoughts are racing through my head which, at the same time, feels like a block of cement.
I took the trash and knocked over two plants on the kitchen porch. I cut my knuckle. I forget what I'm doing in the two steps it takes me to cross the kitchen.
We are grieving, people. We have to be careful with ourselves. Do you hear me on that? And with grief, comes an inability to think properly, to be attentive. So. Really try to take care of yourself and your children and those you may be responsible for today.
That's number one, I think.
Dead ain't gonna help.
See. I don't know. Neither do you. We can sit around all day and despair at what may happen. I'm doing it.
"Well, there goes the environment," I said to my husband, apropos of nothing as we were eating breakfast.
But we don't really know, do we? And I think we may have to simply be patient for a bit to see where this particular train wreck is truly headed.
Once we get our bearings, we'll have more information with which to...what? Fight? Organize? Move to Italy? Build a bomb shelter? Start volunteering? Take up Buddhism?
Yeah. Right now, this second, we have to breathe.
Breathe and eat and drink water. And take care of ourselves and those around us.
I'd like to say that I'm not completely disgusted and horribly angry at the citizens of my country.
I'd like to say that I'm not going to suffer from PTSD every time that man opens his mouth.
I'd like to say that I have some hope.
I'd like to say that somehow we'll come out of this stronger. And better.
I'd like to say that I'm not embarrassed to be an American.
I'd like to say love will overcome.
I'd like to say that we have nothing to fear except fear itself.
But right now, right this second, I can't say any of that.
So. Breathing, eating, drinking water. Taking care of ourselves and each other. Trying to be patient before leaping to action.
What are you doing? How are you dealing? Are you crying? I can't even cry. I'm too stunned. Are you medicating? I wouldn't judge you for that. Are you donating to Planned Parenthood? That would be a good thing to do. Are you hiding in your bed? That's fine. Are you obsessively reading on social media? Me too. Are you hurting, angry, scared, sick, questioning everything and every one you thought you knew?
I just watched Hillary give her concession speech.
She was magnificent.
She IS magnificent.
Breathe. Eat. Drink. Take care.
Don't give up. Just...don't. Don't. We can't.
And it occurs to me, finally, for now, that fear is what got us into this mess.
Fear ain't gonna get us out.
Take care. Take care.
I love you.
P.S. And please, let us NOT FORGET that Hillary got the most votes. That helps. Somehow, it really does.