Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Not The Best Of Mornings

I feel like the biggest loser today and not the kind on The Biggest Loser but the other kind, you know, where you put your fingers up on your forehead, thumb spread to make an L with your forefinger and that thumb.
Just little picky nags and worries and then the Big Ones, as well such as what have I done with my life, what am I going to DO with my life, etc. etc. 

Maurice is not doing very well. She doesn't want to eat or drink water and barely moved at all last night. I let her lick some water and food from my fingers this morning but mostly she just licked a few molecules of each from her whiskers and then she wanted to hide in my closet and then she wanted to go outside and that's forbidden. She did pee a bunch and I can tell she's in pain- well, fuck yeah, she had a hysterectomy yesterday plus enough shots to stun a horse probably and she's just a tiny thing. I called the Animal Aid and got sweet Jo (another Sweet Jo!) and she advised me to give her her pain med and if she's not better by noon to bring her in.
I don't know whether I'm being abusively neglectful for not taking her in now or completely and neurotically worried.
I mashed up her 1/8th of a Toradol and mixed into about a teaspoon of food and crammed that down her throat and she licked up what didn't go in so that's good. I've got her shut into the little bathroom where it's dark and quiet and her litterbox (LITTERBOX!) is in there and some water and I'll go check on her. Way too frequently for her, probably.

I'm supposed to go to the damn dentist for my regular cleaning today at one and fuck me Jesus if I want to do that. A yellow fly has bitten me on the leg and ankle and I am not reacting well to that these days. They swell up like mountains and itch in exquisite and painful intensity and I'm wondering if I shouldn't have a damn Epi-pen on hand to jam into me should my throat close up but that's really going way too far. I could start with a Benadryl first.

I should take a walk because I haven't walked farther than about one-tenth of a mile in days and days unless you count all the miles I've walked in the house, putting laundry away but no, that doesn't count. I'm listening to the most horrible book because I haven't gone to the library. Not only is it so poorly written that I can barely stand it but the narrator has the most pronounced lisp.
"You shaved my neck!"
"Shit down."
I mean, it's so funny that it's almost fascinating. It's the train wreck you can't step away from.

So that's me this morning. Worrying neurotically about a CAT and scratching my legs like a beast and dreading going to the dentist and feeling like a loser and oh yeah, I ate about half a bag of ginger snaps last night that someone left here. Ginger snaps. Really? Yes. Really. I guess it could have been worse, like half a chocolate cake and it's a good thing no one left one of those hanging around. Of course I ate my healthy salmon and broccoli before I ate all the ginger snaps in the universe.

And I didn't even mention the dreams I had and thank you, I'd rather not go into detail about that.

So what's up in your world?

Shall we all join hands and jump off a cliff or is there hope for us all?

Let me know.

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Ginger snaps?! I'd have eaten them all. What's happening in my life is another trudge into the city after only one full day at home. Well, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I won't have to do this much longer.

  2. Ellen Abbott- Let me be clear. I only ate half a bag because that's all there were.

  3. I'm reading this and thinking. Oh, she peed.... well then Maurice will be ok. She just hurts like hell - and you gave her some meds for that so you are a good mama. The shitty book is probably the last straw. I can tolerate a lot if I have a good book in the works.

  4. I am all for holding hands, but let's not jump yet. Let's sit around a campfire with a bottle of wine, watch a movie or talk books first. Jump later.
    We have these little bite sting itch away applicators that looks like a magic marker that I can't remember the name of, get one of those, and hopefully kill the next parasite that tries to feed off you before it can bite. :)

  5. Jill- Well, this is just my reading-while-doing-chores-and-walking book to listen to. Trust me. I wouldn't waste a second on it if I wasn't just using it for entertainment and distraction.

    Elizabeth- Which of us is Thelma and which of us is Louise?

    Mel- These damn yellow flies are shaped just like B-52 bombers and they are just as fast. And they suck your blood before you know they're there. I think they must inject some sort of numbing thing before they commence to sucking.
    Okay. I won't jump yet.

  6. I am working from home in order to be with my neurotic cat, who keeps attacking the other and woke me up TWICE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT FOR THIS SHIT. I am either going to jump or toss them both off.

  7. SJ- If this is a very sudden behavioral change, could she have something neurological going on? I am so sorry this is happening.

  8. I took her to the vet yesterday--labs and everything should come back tomorrow. She is definitely NOT AT ALL herself.

  9. I hope Maurice feels better. Bob City is doing okay. But he hasn't had his balls hacked off yet. I cancelled my teeth cleaning and my book club and I wish I could cancel everything and start over. Let's hope the winds change.

  10. I feel guilty that this is the first thing in teh few posts I've just read down that I'm commenting on, but they gave a person with a lisp a job in audio book narration? What??

  11. Glad that Maurice is sleeping off the aftermath of surgery. And I know that she is okay.

    It's the time for stings and those damn fire ants.


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