Thursday, September 26, 2013

Hulk Cake Is Pretty Tasty

I swear to you, I am as tired as I was the night he was born.
But it was worth it. He loved it all. He was sweet and he thanked everyone for everything and he was excited and happy about every gift.

He held his cousin Lenore on his lap. She adores him.

He blew out his candles. He tolerated the Happy Birthday song. He did not cry once. 

He is a big boy, well and truly four. 

I cried when he left. Not because he was leaving, but because I was just emotional. I feel shredded and worn and exposed to the sparks of this electric life. He and his brother have taken away any last bit of cool insulation I might ever have tried to preserve. 

When I kissed him good-bye in the car I told him that I loved him. I told him that I was going to keep his decorations up. He was so proud of his decorations. Everyone who came to the party was given a tour of all the decorations. 
"You keep them up forever," he said. 
I just might. Or at least, for a very long time. 

"I love him too much," I told May in the kitchen a little while ago.
"No you don't," she said. "You love him just right. 

Sometimes it all seems like too much. The love I have for him and his brother and for his mother and his aunts and his uncles and his father and my husband. I sometimes feel that the container (my heart) is not large enough to hold it all. 
Which, I suppose, is why I cry. It spills over. 

Well. I need to go finish cleaning up the kitchen. It is supposed to get down into the sixties tonight. 

The windows are wide open. 

So is my heart. So is my not-always-big-enough-to-hold-it-all heart. But hearts can grow. Trust me. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Just love, pure love. It warms my heart and makes me cry too. I love you. Sweet Jo

  2. Happy birthday dear Owen! We have come to love you too through your beloved MerMer. Four years old! Amazing.

  3. And so the legend of the party loving Mer Mer is born, in the heart of a newly four year old, who will never actually know how he knows it, but he certainly will! Not a bad legend, there sweet Florida girl!

  4. Sounds like another great Moon bash. Sorry to have missed it, and the Hulk cake. :-) It's a beauty! Did Lily make it?

    There is a 3rd grade girl in Griffin's class that looks like, talks like and has a similar inner radiance to Lily. Every time I see her (which is every day) I am reminded of Lily when she was that age. Bubbly and curious and beautiful.

    I'm glad you all had a good time and I'm glad you heart is full. It's a good thing.

  5. You're just wrung out with joy and tears. What a lovely celebration!

  6. Did he like the gift you gave him? And who made that wonderful cake?

    Love that overflows with tears is a beautiful thing.

  7. Feeling too much love is a good problem to have. :)

  8. "The windows are wide open.
    So is my heart. So is my not-always-big-enough-to-hold-it-all heart. But hearts can grow. "

    I just love this. It reads like poetry.

    So glad you had O's birthday party at your house and that it went so well. x0x0 N2

  9. Owen is right. You DO love parties!

  10. I love May too much, because she always has the perfect thing to say.

    He is such a big boy! And so darn cute. I am so glad it was a good night.

  11. your heart is large enough. look at all it holds!
    Happy Birthday Owen!

  12. Oh, Mary xx

    Happy Birthday, Owen!

  13. Sweet Jo- It was a very fine celebration indeed. That child and his brother are both so loved and cherished. Thank you for being part of that.

    Angella- I think of your grown boy and I think that Owen will be like him in some ways. Especially the long, strong legs. The good mind, the great heart. I think of how I have come to love your children too. Isn't it amazing?

    Big Mamabird- Oh Lord. WHY do I have all these parties? There is never one of them that I do not want to grab the vodka bottle and escape to a hidden porch.

    Elizabeth- You should have tasted that green-iced cake. Talking about sweet....

    Ms. Fleur- No, Publix made the cake. It's what Owen wanted. I'd love to see that little girl who reminds you of Lily.

    Sylvia- And exhaustion!

    Birdie- He loved ALL his presents. I can't wait to see him in his shirt. The bakery at the grocery made his cake. That was his heart's desire.

    Steve Reed- Yes, but the more you love, the more open you are to pain. And so be it.

    N2- Thank-you. It truly did go well.

    Jill- Well. That's the myth.

    Mel- How could it not have been?

    SJ- You are right about May. My children are so wise. As you know.

    Yobobe- I never knew it could grow this large, this heart of mine. Children teach us everything, don't they?

    Jo- Ah, and one day you will be a grandmother and you will know. Thanks, sweet woman.

  14. Your heart is big enough to hold it all. And more!

  15. You make my face leak salty water!

  16. That's some cake. And you astound me. I hope Ican learn to let life and love in like you have before it's too late.

  17. You have the type of love that I feel but have no family to share it with anymore. So I share it with others as best I can without seeming to be too much. I know that others have their little units of family. I am an outsider who looks in. And some days that makes me sad.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.