Sunday, August 21, 2022

A Very Gentle Sunday


As Dorothy Anne has become more comfortable here, I have introduced her to Zippy, my dear and darling vintage chimp. Did any of you have a Zippy? I had one as a child and he got lost somewhere and I do believe the first thing I ever did on eBay was to search for his brother. And eventually, I found him. There were many variations of Zippy but I wanted and needed to find the exact same one I'd had and eventually, I did. I bought him and have loved him ever since. I let the children play with him gently and in my presence but they do not understand my deep emotional connection with him. He generally lives on the mantlepiece in my bedroom, always keeping watch. I let him tend to a little monkey-sock doll that Lily made me as a child that I also adore and cherish. So yesterday, when I unwrapped Dorothy Anne from her swaddling blanket in which she sleeps every night (I am not kidding you) and kissed her good morning and had a few words with her, I put her on the bed after I'd made it and brought Zippy down to sit with her. 
I think they enjoy each other's company. And don't you think that Dorothy Anne is looking much more content and happy these days? 
I do. 
Yesterday while we were eating our picnic at the beach, August asked me why I bought a doll. I thought about it for a few seconds and said, "Well, I guess because I don't have any more babies to take care of." 
"You have Mommy!" he said. "And us."
Oh, that sweet wise boy. 
But as I told him, neither Mommy nor he nor Levon are babies anymore. I will never stop taking care of him and his brother and his mama but I do love babies. 

I laugh at myself every night when I wrap Dorothy Anne up in her flannel blanket and kiss her good-night and I laugh at myself every morning when I unswaddle her, kiss her good morning and carefully place her on the pillows sitting up so that her eyes will be open to the daylight. Yes, I am being so silly and no, I am not obsessed with her nor do I think she is a real baby but she has triggered something in my heart, perhaps my childhood heart, that so needs something so obviously in need of tender love. 
And I am most grateful that my husband does not laugh at me but goes along with my strange little quirk in this matter. Today I told him that the little sock monkey was the love child of Dorothy Anne and Zippy and he laughed with me. 

Mr. Moon and I are in a very sweet place right now. A long time love takes on a life of its own, doesn't it? I've always said that sometimes the tide is in and sometimes the tide is out and I think that's true although I've never once entertained the thought of voluntarily separating from this man, even during some of the very low-tide moments. And of course we've had them. Not so many, but a few. However, from the very beginning, I knew that his love for me and his acceptance and welcoming of my love for him was something precious. 
Is precious. More so all the time, I think. Something to handle tenderly and respectfully and with plenty of kisses. 
And lately I've just felt more and more in love with him in all ways and I know how lucky that makes me. We are loving, we make each other laugh, we support each other whether it's me and Dorothy Anne or my blog, or him and his Camaro or his motorcycle or his hunting trips or his fishing...

You understand. 

We understand. Another thing I realized a long time ago and I have said it before, is that although we may not understand all of each other's interests and passions, we understand that those interests and passions are of great importance to us and that is all that matters, I think. 
And maybe it all boils down to this- we both want the other to be happy. 

Well, as usual, that was not what I thought I'd be writing about when I sat down here this evening. My writing process is a mystery to me but it works. For me. 

Do you want to see something pretty? 


That's what the inside of the empty shell of one our green eggs looks like. I cracked the egg into a bowl this morning to cook for our breakfast and the intensity of the color made me stop and really look and take it in. Is there anything more perfect than an egg? A beautiful vessel of life. 

It just poured rain again, but not for too long. It started as I sat down to write and it has almost ended now. 


It is hard to get a good picture of rain, just as it is hard to define what love is, what a marriage is, what a heart needs and wants. Doesn't mean we can't try, though.

At least that's what I think. At least, that's what I've learned. 

Love...Ms. Moon

 


42 comments:

  1. Lovely thinking. And I we understand that need to nurture a doll. She's definitely looking more loved, that's true. I'm very glad Mr m. doesn't dismiss it, just accepts it as something you need to do right now.

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    1. Me too, Liz. He is a good guy and after all these years, he knows me well.

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  2. The color of the egg shell, made by a sweet chicken, is beautiful. A soft, mint green, calming.
    I had two baby dolls growing up - a Tiny Tears and a Betsy Wetsy. I don't know what happened to them. All my other dolls were either young girls or women (Barbie). I currently own two dolls - my daughter's Samantha doll (American Girl doll) and my mothers very old doll. I am not sure what kind of doll she is - from around 1930 - with the hard head and real looking glued on hair, hard hands and feet and soft stuffed body. Neither of these dolls was played with very much.
    My dolls were all played with a lot. I remember wrapping the baby dolls up in blankets, feeding, changing, carrying them around, putting them to sleep etc.

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    1. Oh I forgot to say. Babies are very calming.

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    2. Your mother's doll sounds like the same type of doll as my Dorothy Anne. Composite and cloth? Same era, too. Some did have actual hair. I, too, loved playing with my dolls. And it would seem that I still do! At least I don't feed Dorothy Anne. Now THAT would be weird.

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  3. A beautiful post. You certainly have a way with words. Dorothy Anne looks a bit startled at the monkey sitting next to her but she is definitely happier.

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    1. Perhaps I am just looking at Dorothy Anne with more loving eyes but she no longer looks creepy in the least to me. I think she enjoyed Zippy's company.

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  4. Mary, I had a stuffed chimpanzee in the 1950's that I named Jocko. I dragged him around by the vinyl ear so it was always ripping partially from his dear little head. My mom would say, "Grandad will sew it", and so he DID with a giant needle and thick white thread.

    I was tiny, because grandad died of throat cancer when I was just six but Jocko's soft white sneakers and his big ears and happy grin are what I remember so well. Your pictures bring it all back.

    I think Dorothy Anne looks LOVED and at HOME at last. Makes me happy to see them nestled side by side... cherished and cozy together. Your blog warms me like no other.

    Thank you, Mary Moon.
    ~karen

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    1. Oh, Karen! Thank YOU! I love imagining you with a chimp doll, dragging him about by his ear and then having a grandfather who would sew him up for you. I am sorry you lost him so early on in your life.

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  5. You make me regret, a little, being a tom boy all my life. Things just are what they are. I liked today's missive.

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    1. You know, some of my kids loved dolls and some did not. Lily didn't play with them and yet- she has three children now and is an excellent mother and you have raised how many children now? I'm sure that being a tomboy led you to learn other skills that have been very important in your life.

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  6. Your post made me cry. Larry passed away on June 29 and I miss all the sweetness and tenderness you wrote about. I used to tell him that my favorite place to be was next to him in bed. It was.

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    1. Dianne, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Sending love and light to you. May your dear Larry's soul rest in peace.
      Angie D

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    2. Oh, Dianne. I am so very sorry to hear this. How are you doing?

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    3. Thanks to you all. I'm getting 'used' to it, I guess. But there are some horrendous nights and days that seem like they'll never end. Days I just sort of sit in a stupor. Those are getting fewer and farther between, thank the spirits that be. I never could have imagined how it would be. And all the house maintenance stuff that he always saw to, I'm learning ir just stumbling through. How could I not know how or why or when to do so many things? And car maintenance and AC and the furnace, hoo.

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  7. Lovely to hear about Zippy and DA and about you and Mr Moon :) This post was nourishment for my soul Ms Moon. Sometimes I walk away from here with validation of things I can't even name, and this is one of those times.

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  8. This was so dang good, Mary. Beautiful writing. Thank you for sharing your heart...I understand so much of this deeply.
    Yep, I too had a Zippy. God, how I loved that monkey doll! No idea what happened to him. The only doll I have from my childhood is a Raggedy Ann that my grandmother's sister made for me on my 6th birthday. She has a little red embroidered heart over her heart with 'I Love You' and one side of her face is awake, the other is asleep. I cherish her and would be devastated if anything happened to her.
    Angie D

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    1. It's strange and yet rather beautiful how much love and emotion we attach to certain things, isn't it? I'm so glad you still have your Raggedy Ann, made for you with love, I am sure.

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  9. Yea! It published! I had read that clearing your cache/cookies might clear the problem and I guess I hadn't done that in a while so I did and it worked! Oh and Dorothy Anne looks quite content with her little friends...I'm SO glad you went with your heart and brought her home!
    Angie D

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    1. Me too! And I'm glad that clearing your cache helped. Excellent!

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  10. You jest about the sock monkey being a love child but I wouldn't leave Dorothy Anne alone in a room with Zippy. She might be ravaged. You can see the lecherous twinkle in Zippy's eyes.

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    1. Oh, he's just mischievous, not lecherous. Stop projecting, Mr. P!

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  11. The eggshell is a beautiful colour. Is that a duck egg?
    I think Dorothy Anne looks a bit startled to find a monkey beside her. She'll get used to him. You are not the only person who wraps her "baby" to sleep at nigh and kisses her good morning. My stuffed chimps and gorillas wear warm baby clothes on cold days and get wrapped in blankets when I am shivering and the big one, Harvey Banana, get many cuddles when I'm feeling a bit down. He is the one that hears the secrets and absorbs the tears when I cry.

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    1. Nope, that's a chicken egg. Different chicken breeds lay different colored eggs.
      It makes me feel so much better, knowing that I am not the only one who still likes to "play" with dolls. I guess we just still have that sort of love in us and we need something, if we don't have someONE, to use it on.

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  12. I think your and Mr. Moon's love for each other is so beautiful. That being said, if I had Dorothy Anne and Zippy watching over me at night I'm pretty sure I'd never get any sleep!

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    1. Dorothy Anne and Zippy do not keep me from sleeping! They are our little nighttime guardians.

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  13. I know what you mean about your life with Mr Moon. Same here. Sometimes the tide is out, sometimes in but steady as she goes. I knew after our first couple of dates that he would never break up with me, that if we parted ways it would be me leaving.But without him my life of art would not have been the same, maybe wouldn't have even happened. I used to tell people that we were devoted to each other even when it was rocky. But I had had a prophetic dream about him years before I ever met him, that my life was on the wrong track and this is what I would miss. I do believe that we made a pact before we fell to earth. I would save his life and he would devote his to mine.

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    1. Ellen, that is truly beautiful. And I think I had a prophetic dream about Glen too. It was some sweet man who didn't say a word but I knew that he was telling me to hang on- one day we would find each other and I would be loved.

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    2. I was married to my first husband when I had that dream. I had a second one a short while after that in which I left my first husband and he followed after me entreating me to stay but I was adamant. It sort of reinforced the first dream, tellin me what I had to do. So I did and a year after my divorce I met Marc and there was no deny that this was the right guy judging by my reaction the first time I laid eyes on him. It was a heart pounding, ear ringing, stars shooting physical reaction. And here's another thing. There were many Marcs in my past as if I already knew his name.

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  14. I remember when I asked my ex-husband for a divorce after 33 years of marriage and 5 children and one of the things he said was, "we were never soulmates". And that was the truth. I was raised to be a wife and mother and so that is what I became.
    You are lucky to have Mr. Moon and to feel such love for each other.
    This was a lovely post, Mary.

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    1. Thank you, Ellen. I believe that many of us were raised to believe that our number one purpose in life was to be a mother and a wife. And when that didn't work out, we felt like such failures. Or at least in some ways, I think. We were sold a bill of goods that if WE just did everything we were supposed to do, we would be rewarded with a perfect, loving family and as we all know, that just doesn't always happen. You were brave to ask for a divorce.

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    2. Also? I don't know if I even believe in soulmates. If there are such things, they become that way through years of life and love together.

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    3. Thanks for your supportive words, Mary. I was brave and I have never regretted that decision!

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  15. Zippy was my pal. I just found one that looks like the one I had- He will be here in a few days to sit with Bubbles and Bernice, and there it is , my childhood family. Dorothy is darling! Love stories make me cringe.

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    1. Yay, LInda Sue! I'm so glad you're getting your own Zippy. You will be so happy to see him.
      Sorry I made you cringe.

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    2. There is something wrong with me....

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  16. It IS hard to get a good picture of rain. I've had that problem too. I find that video is a much better option for recording rainy days!

    Do you remember the ad campaigns for "the incredible edible egg"?

    I love the way your blog posts sort of unspool organically and take on a life of their own.

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  17. Such a beautiful reflection on long time love, Mary. And yes, that is a beautiful vibrant delicate green inside the eggshell and how wise you are to notice it. Thank you for sharing it here.

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  18. Also, it seems to me that Dorothy Anne represents some aching part of your childhood self made more visible to you through her, and I love that you honor her and are healing her in this loving way.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.